Some Nights, Some Days

I know I lead a blessed life and most of my problems are "first world problems", but there are some moments when I get really annoyed that I can't escape my responsibilities.

NIGHTS:
Last night, for example.  It was Friday night, and a much needed payday too.  What I really wanted to do was celebrate - go out with Amanda to grab a beer at a sports bar with some friends.  Hang out, socialize - just relax and enjoy life a bit.  But instead we went to Panda Express for dinner to go, and we introduced the kids to "Willow" (they only finished the first half before it was bedtime).  And that was fine and fun.  Then the kids went to bed, and Amanda and I went downstairs to mess around on the computers (Amanda is addicted to 365project, and I like enjoy browsing through the cleaner posts on The Chive), followed by us watching an episode of "The Walking Dead".  Then we went to bed.

I know, I know.  We could have gotten up and done something different.  It's not like we didn't have any choices in the matter of what we could do at home.  But there are some nights when I just don't feel like doing anything here at home, in the same, normal place. Especially when it's just so easy to default to our routine.

I also miss spending time with friends.  I love being with my wife more than anyone else in the world, but sometimes I really want to be with other people too.  Also, I seriously enjoy my family here (Mom and Dad C., Katie and Jimmy, etc), even more than I thought I would before we moved here.  But sometimes I want to be with peers - people of my age group, in similar circumstances (kids, etc), and maybe even of the same faith as us.  Don't get me wrong - I don't want any less time with our family here, I would just like to have some time with friends too.

This is the trade off of moving to Ohio though I guess, at least for now.

DAYS:
Then, this morning when I woke up to hearing the kids walking around upstairs at 6:20am, I thought about how I get up to my alarm every morning at 6:20 - 6:30am, and today I just want to sleep in a bit, damnit!  I got out of bed and let Amanda get ready for the gym (we would both go later if the kids weren't sick), then took care of getting the kids' a snack, pouring their drinks, fixing the girls' hair, and helping Lucas use an inhaler because he keeps coughing.  But oh how I would love to just sit down and ponder what to do with my day.  Or for Amanda and I to share a quiet cup of coffee together and figure out what we can do together, without having to deal with our little people, who happen to be BIG responsibilities.  Then there's the dog too.  Ugh.

Again, I know these are first world problems.  I'm sure that I sound like a whiny little brat to God, who gave me so many wonderful choices and blessings, including a job that I enjoy, a fantastic and beautiful wife, and my children who are truly freakin' awesome and incredible.  But there are just some days when I would like a little bit less responsibility, and to be able to enjoy the freedom associated with it.

Best. Birthday. Eva. - Part 2

After our 2-day, 1-night getaway to Nevada City, Amanda and I planned to pick up our kids from the Walker's house (our good friends who were watching them for us).  We stopped at our house first though to drop off the car and check to see if they might be there.  When we walked in the door, we did indeed find our kids there, playing in the backyard.  But with them was someone else, a big surprise for me - MY MOM FROM FLORIDA!  I was a bit stunned at first, what I was seeing took a few seconds to register in my brain (mom, lives in Florida, but yet here, huh? how?).  It was funny and weird how it just didn't compute for a little bit. 

She had put the surprise together and made it happen in two days time.  My brother was a big part of the answer to her prayers (donated frequent flyer miles) for her to be able to come out here.  It was great to see her!

The next day (Sunday), she and I planned a date to get some coffee together at Origin Coffee & Tea, which is a non-profit coffee house that fights against sex trafficking.  It was great to have the quality time together.  I was expecting to have the Walkers over for dinner when I arrived home, but when I walked in the door I found many more familiar faces in front of me.  "SURPRISE!!"  It was the first surprise party that I had ever been the victim, er I mean recipient of :-).  We had pizza, we had conversation, we ate cake.  A good time with great friends!  And a fantastic way to add icing on the cake of what was my best birthday ever.

10 years ago, I had a fun weekend celebration for my 30th birthday.  Unfortunately though, we lost the film from it and so I have no proof or physical media to remember it with.  This way more than surpassed it though.

Now I want to, no I HAVE to give a few thanks.  First to God for giving me so many blessings (health, job, family, and so many great people in my life).  To my brother Steve for helping my mom make it out here to visit.  To my best friend Brian and his family for watching the kids, Saran wrapping my car, picking my mom up from the airport, and keeping the party under wraps.  And to all of the great friends that attended the party.

But first and foremost, above and beyond, I can't believe how awesome Amanda is for pulling this all off.  Not only is it amazing that she thought to do it and put forth the effort, but that is was so successful and such a blessing to me.  Thanks babe, I appreciate it and I love you.

An Evening with the Whites

We met our good friends Tim and Tammy White when Lucas and their son Shane were just infants (see picture above). Well, unfortunately for us they moved to the East Coast (Maryland) about a year ago.

Since they were back in town this week for a visit though, they stopped by our house for dinner on Wednesday evening. It was really great to see them and catch up on each other's lives.

You can see how much the kids, and our families, have grown in the updated picture below. And Clara was sleeping, so she's not in it.

Black and White and Red All Over

Some things are clearly black and white to me. There is right and there is wrong - end of story. The addition of red is for the color I see after I feel convicted that it is clearly wrong. Because my tendency in those situations is to become angry and, unfortunately, potentially offensive.

In the last week or two, there have been at least three such incidents:

1. In one case I think my points were valid, but I could have presented them more gently, especially because they were Christians. I already offered my apology to them though.
   
   
2. In another case, maybe I could have handled it a little more gently. But I did the best that I could and to be honest I feel completely justified and don't regret it one bit.
   
   
3. And the last one is the most important of the three. I care about this individual and while I don't regret bringing the topic up, I probably handled it quite poorly. I am mixed about what to do next, if anything, and I am really seeking God's wisdom.
   
   

Here's the issue: I believe there is such a thing as righteous anger, that when things are blatantly wrong that people should get angry about it. And when I look around and see everybody keeping their lips shut and their faces turned away, ignoring the elephant in the room, I simply can take it no more. Ideally though, what I really want is to be gentle and speak lovingly, while still being outwardly honest with what burns inside me as The Truth.

However, and this may sound surprising - I really don't want to be the one to say something - I know I'm horrible at it. I am much more proficient at angering people and turning them against the very cause that I am professing, than I am at convincing them. I would much rather the job be given to someone else who is more capable and able than I. But still, I strongly believe that something should be said, no it must be said. And if no one else is going to speak up than it's better to let the words out of my own mouth and risk alienating myself than to keep quiet and silent in fear of retribution. Maybe another way of putting it is that I would rather get my @$$ kicked than to back away in cowardice.

Are we really talking bravado and chivalry here though, or just foolishness and hastiness? That is the biggest question. How can I speak what I wholeheartedly think is the truth, while still adequately or perhaps even proficiently be representing Jesus? If I were truly speaking words of wisdom, wouldn't they be convincing and thought provoking, instead of abrasive and provoking others only to anger.

Even Jesus angered people though, particularly the pharisees and money changers. On the other hand, that form of righteous anger was expressed specifically against people who were misrepresenting God or disgracing His house (the church). So does that mean I should only get angry, or at least express my anger, if the subject in question is about God?

As you can see, this subject has been coming up a lot lately, and I hate the conflict resulting from it. Don't get me wrong, I can handle the alienation part, or even the un-friending (from Facebook especially), but I am earnestly praying about, and I think I will even fast some of next week for the following:

1. That I would be absolutely certain about my position and the facts surrounding it before I make my opinion known.
   
   
2. That I could speak (or type) in a way that communicates my position and/or inspires change, instead of just causing anger and rejection.
   
   
3. Most importantly, that I can represent my God and my Savior. Am I talking or speaking in a way that pleases God? Will people grow closer to Jesus as a result, or reject everything that I say and stand for from now on?
   
   
4. That I would have wisdom for knowing whether I should make amends for any hurt or offense that I have caused. And if so, then how do I go about it?

Weekend Update - 1/30/09

Weekends are so fleeting, as are most pleasant memories for that matter. So if it's an especially good couple of days then I'm going to blog about it, mainly as an assistance for remembrance.

Highlights from the weekend of 1/30/09 are:

• Lucas' pre-school periodically has a family movie night in their gymnasium. They showed "Finding Nemo" on Friday. Michael O'Brien and his daughter Omara joined us too.
  
  
• Saturday night was UFC94 - featuring Georges St. Pierre vs. BJ Penn.
  
  When we got to our usual sports bar though, there was only 1 tiny table left, and the view from it sucked (it was right under a high-mounted TV). Sure there were still plenty of seats, but the tables were all reserved by a few people at each one.
  
  Michael's friend called and told him that another small bar, Diamond Plate, was showing the fights too, so we went to check it out. The $5 cover sucked, and there were no more tables for 4 there either. But the door man noticed two tiny tables in crummy locations (in the corner and by the door), so he offered to move them and put them together in front of one of the TVs.
  
  So we ended up right in front of a high-def TV, all sitting on the same side of two tables. It felt like VIP seating, especially since everyone else who was watching that particular screen was behind us. The food wasn't quite as good as Mandango's, but it was still quite satisfactory.
  
  Oh yeah, and the fights were great too. GSP was dominant and Lyoto Machida had a great KO. The rest were all decisions, but good fights too.
  
  
• Sunday was Superbowl 43. Our good friends, the Hughes family came over to hang out, eat dinner, and maybe watch the game a little too. It was really nice to see them and spend time with them again, the first time since they moved back here to Sacramento.
  
  For dinner, I grilled Salmon while Amanda made yellow rice, asparagus, and cake for both dessert and as a celebration for our roommate's birthday. And that was some really good salmon, let me tell you. Everyone, including the kids, enjoyed the meal tremendously.

Thanksgiving Weekend Details

Thanksgiving weekend was fun filled and eventful, including the following activities:

• I arranged a boyz night out on the town on Wednesday night. One of them suggested going to Old Town Roseville. For such a small-town downtown, I was pretty impressed. They have six clubs within a 1/2 mile square area and we hit each of them that night, since none of them were charging a cover. We got drinks at two of them, played darts in another, then played pool in yet another one. We just walked into and back out of the others to check them out. I can't remember the last time I went club/bar hopping, so I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
  
  
• Amanda and I ran/walked in a 10K on Thursday morning, in the Run For the Hungry. Unfortunately, Amanda wrenched her ankle on the way to the starting line. She's tough as nails though, so she still wanted to run it. We had originally planned to do the 5K, but that crowd was so thick that it was difficult to maneuver the double jogger though it. Since we were both feeling good at the point where the two routes split, we decided to participate in the 10K instead. About halfway through though, Amanda's ankle was bothering her again - along with her leg, knee, hip on that side (probably from favoring the ankle). So we walked a good portion of the 2nd half.
  
  
• Our family ate Thanksgiving dinner with another family from church, Greg and Elise Winter, and their son Zachary. They invited us over to their house and made some absolutely incredible food. And Marilyn's (another guest they invited over) cheese cake was some of the best I have ever tasted too.
  
  
• We actually joined the fray on Friday to purchase a multi-purpose HP printer from Best Buy and I got a little taste of man heaven at Harbor Freight Tools. The coupon prices were phenomenal, so I bought a decent amount of various tools and project helpers for only $40 total.

Thanksgiving Dinner Pictures

Ok, not really. These are pictures of toxic sludge that I cleaned out from my sink drain over the weekend. It gets so full of this nasty goo that the water barely drains anymore.

<-- The drain stopper.

This is the second time that I've cleaned it in the two years that we've been here. The only thing that could possibly be causing this is a combination of shaving stubble, toothpaste, soap, some leave-in conditioner, and perhaps the hard California water?

The drain.-->

But we've been in two other houses for five years prior to this one, and my cleaning and preening routine has never caused a problem such as this one before. So what's different now - the plumbing in this house? The water?

<-- The trap.

All I do know is that the sludge that results from cleaning it is some of the grossest, nastiest looking junk that I have ever seen. Thankfully, at least it doesn't smell bad too.


Oh, and our Thanksgiving was actually really awesome. Our friends from church, Greg and Elise Winter, invited us over to their house for dinner. They made some absolutely incredible food. And Marilyn's (another guest they invited over) cheese cake was some of the best I have ever tasted too.

Meeting Minutes

The great thing about being in a meeting where 90% of what is discussed doesn't pertain to you is that it gives you time to think about random stuff (and doodle too). Today I decided to write some of the random stuff down on paper. And sometimes these random thoughts lead to interesting realizations...

I realized that the majority of Amanda and my fun as a couple consists of reading, watching The Office, and having sex. As much fun as these three things are, that's pretty limited! Amanda and I only go out together maybe once every couple of months at best, and that's only because we trade babysitting duties with another couple so each of us can take a turn on a date night.

I remember before we had kids how we would go out all of the time, to see movies, walk around at an outdoor shopping plaza, walk around downtown, play pool, and whatever else we could think of to do. Now, I would be happy just to go out to see a freakin' movie once in a while. Sure, we have plenty of fun as a family (going to the park, the zoo, playing with toys, reading books to the kids, etc). But very rarely as a couple.

I just had another realization. It's very rare that our whole family all plays together, except on Sundays. More often than not it's one of us parents playing with the two kids, while the other one is cooking, cleaning the kitchen, doing a chore, checking email, etc. I guess that's proof that God knew what He was doing when He instituted the whole Sabbath idea - to make sure we purposefully set aside a whole day to all be together as a family.

I miss being with other friends too! It seems the only time we are with other people is either at church, a Bible study, or at a kids' birthday party. I want to just sit around and hang out with friends, maybe have a beer, and/or play a board game without interruption from little ones needing attention.

Well, that's all the whining I'll do tonight. Don't worry though, there will be more soon.

Home for the Holidays (previously)

I originally started writing this post on 12/22/07, but never finished it. Yesterday I found it in my Drafts list and decided to finally post it.

My family and I traveled to Florida for the Christmas holidays to spend it with my family. Here are some highlights:

• While the trip to Florida was long and painful (6am - 9pm), the kids were real troopers and handled it wonderfully. Certainly an answer to prayers.
  
• My mom's back porch, how I do miss it. Even though the woods that used to be behind her backyard have become a subdivision a few years ago, it's still an incredibly quiet and relaxing place to sit and read, pray, think, or write this blog. I can now hear church bells in the distance! At first they just chimed, but now are ringing out several hymns (then sings my soul, my savior God to thee. How great thou art. How great thou art.). Awesome!
  
• I have never had, nor I suspect will ever have again a closer, more loved, and more respected group of friends then our MY-ABS group. Even after being gone for 3 1/2 years, hanging out with these Christian brothers and sisters for the evening was a glimpse of heaven to me.
• Being with my family was awesome. Watching my kids bonding so well with their cousins made it even more so.
  

Reconnecting - Part 2

On one of my previous blog posts, I received a comment from an old friend that I haven't spoken with since my 10 year high school reunion, which was just over 9 years ago (yes, I am really that old).

It was both weird and great to hear from him, especially since I had been thinking about him periodically lately, but had no idea where he was or how to reach him. I even tried Googling him, but with no luck.

In the process of catching up with him again via email, he mentioned a web site that exists for the purposes of reacquainting our high school class. It's not Classmates, but one that was set up by an individual in our class. Because of that site, I have had at least brief correspondences with probably 7-10 people from high school.

Catching up has been fun and full of flashbacks. I just hope that I can make it to the 20 year reunion next year, especially with a new baby on the way.

Reconnecting - Part 1

GIOVANNI
I haven't talked to my long-term best friend Giovanni in quite a while - almost a year ago (link to previous post). Catching up with him recently reminded me of how valuable his friendship is though. He's one of the few people that I feel completely comfortable talking to about anything, and no matter how long it's been since we've last talked, it's still just like yesterday.

The last I'd heard was that he'd moved from L.A. back to Florida. But after talking to him on the phone for probably an hour and a half, I learned that he has since moved to Hawaii, then back to L.A., and now resides in San Luis Obispo. The next step with reconnecting is that I really want to/must drive the 5 hours South to see him soon.


BRIAN
My more local friendship with Brian is similar to Giovanni's in depth, except that I haven't known him as long (or through so many stages of life), and also that he only lives three houses down and around the corner from me.

But oddly enough we're both so busy taking care of our own crazy lives that we rarely get to talk. Granted, it was certainly less than the year ago that it was with Giovanni, but last Monday night we finally had the opportunity to sit and reconnect.

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If I could define the difference for me between what makes someone a great friend and another a best friend (and it's true with both Giovanni and Brian), it is this:

A best friend is someone not only with whom you feel completely eager and comfortable sharing the details of each other's lives, but also with whom you feel comfortable enough to sit down together and pray about them.