In Appreciation of Amanda

I wanted to take a moment to make a vlog dedicated to my wife - who she is, what she does, and the relationship we have.  I love you Amanda!

A Contrast of Memorials

Recalling my dad's memorial (after he passed away), and the contrast between him and another man, whose memorial was at the same church on the same day.

Warrior Princess

Tonight my oldest daughter Emily had on a tiara and white gloves that her and Clara received as a parting gift at the daddy/daughter dance.  She said "If I had a dress I would look just like a princess".
I replied "Emily, I think you're as pretty as a princess either way."

Then a few minutes later she asked me "How does someone become a princess?"
I said "To be honest, I don't think princesses are really all that great.  I mean, what do they even do?  They walk around smiling everywhere, with people taking pictures of them all of the time.  Big deal.  You know what I think is way cooler?  Let me show you."

Then I showed her (and my other kids) this video: Countdown to UFC 184
Emily said "But she's not a princess".
Me: "No Emily, she's way cooler than a dumb princess - she's a warrior."

Later, as an afterthought, I reminded my kids that there are only three circumstances when it's acceptable to fight:

1. To defend yourself.
2. To defend someone else.
3. If both parties agree on it (when no one is being forced or bullied, or in a competition).

Daddy/Daughter Date to Dairy Queen

On Monday of this week, I took my youngest daughter Clara on a daddy/daughter date to Dairy Queen.  I would rather have done something more extensive and fun, but it's been quite a while since our last time hanging out together, and I didn't have much money to spend anyway.  Besides, who doesn't love their Blizzards :-).  It was sweet time of hanging out, holding her tiny hand to/from the car, and sharing a blizzard while talking together.

I also learned something new about her, that she is completely ambidextrous.  I asked her which hand she writes with in school and she said "both".  She said that neither is her favorite and that she switches between them when one gets tired.

According to internet statistics, 1% of the population is ambidextrous.  I thought it would be much lower than that, since in my 43 years I've never known anyone who has indicated they didn't have a right or left hand preference/dominance.  Unfortunately, one article also said that:

"Children who are ambidextrous, using either hand with the same ease, may be more likely to have mental health, language and academic problems than their peers,"

Time will tell whether there is any truth or relevance to this study for Clara.  So far though she seems very smart to us, but maybe we're just bias as her parents.

Weekend Update for Sept 19-21

I know very few people would care to read the following long post about my weekend escapades, but I still want to blog about it anyway, just for the sake of posterity.

FRIDAY NIGHT
Friday night I had just gotten home from a bonzai trip to Ft. Wayne Indiana.  I had driven up on Thursday evening, visited our supplier on Friday, the driven back Friday night.  I have no idea what Amanda and I did that evening and neither does she. It's not too surprising for me to forget, but it's unusual for both of us to have no recollection.  We might have watched a South Park episode.  Before bed though I got to play the tooth fairy for Emily, who lost one of her front teeth that day.

LITTLE GREY MOUSE?

Saturday morning I got a couple things done around the house before Lucas' soccer game.  Just before we were ready to leave for the game, the kids and I were waiting in the car for Amanda to come out of the house.  Then Emily yelled "look, a little grey mouse!".  I thought she might have seen it scuttle somewhere, never to be seen again, but she could still see it so we all got out of the car to have a look.  Sure enough, there it was roaming around in the mulch area near out garage door.  Then I realized and proclaimed "That's not a mouse, it's a mole!" We have been encountering a few piles of dirt in our yard and we had suspected it was due to moles.  When it ran onto the cement and started heading toward the opened garage door I instinctively stepped on it.  I had only meant to trap it though, until I could figure out what to do with it, but when I lifted my foot it looked like I had squished it dead.  

Well, the kids started freaking out.  Emily started crying (she's and Lucas was definitely upset too).  I really didn't think I had stepped on it that hard (I was surprised at the results), and if it was only injured then I didn't want it to be suffering with internal bleeding and pain.  So I decided in all my brilliance to fetch a machete with the intent to chop off its head.  When the kids realized what I was doing, then started freaking out more.  Amanda came out of the house at that moment and convinced me not to continue with my plan of mercy.  So instead I simply scooped it up with a small shovel, placed it in a ziplok back, and threw it in the trash.  Needless to say, the kids were still upset in the car, but I apologized and explained that I didn't want to hear it anymore and that's just the way the world works sometimes.  It probably wasn't the best reasoning, but it surprisingly seemed to help.

LUCAS SOCCER GAME

I insisted on bringing our dog Hope to the game with us, and she did pretty good for the most part.  I kept her leash reigned in close, but I'm glad she got to get out of the house a bit.  The weather was great for Lucas' soccer game too, and the coach kept him in it for ~3/4 of the game.  He's definitely getting better.  Amanda's parents joined us there and also to Penn Station for lunch (yum!).

WRETCHED FAN PROJECT

I worked on Emily's ceiling fan project for the rest of the day, and found yet another unexpected obstacle in the wiring.   This project has been taking me months to complete, and now it will be at least another week or two.  Ugh.

AWESOME DATE NIGHT

That evening was awesome!  Our friends, the Tipton family, watched the kids so Amanda and I could go on a date.  We take turns returning the favor for them also.  We started our date with dinner at a restaurant that was part of a hotel.  We never would have chosen it, except for a gift certificate that we had for restaurant.com (I think).  We had to pick from their selection of restaurants, and this place sounded OK.  Well, it turned out to be way better than we expected.  The food (and glass of wine) was uniquely flavored, very tasty, and mostly healthy too.   The ambiance was ok (nothing exciting, but clean and pleasing), and the service was great also.  Overall we were very pleased.  We followed that up with dessert and tasty decaf coffee at Starbucks (pumpkin spice latte and salted caramel mocha).  Then lastly we went to play outdoor putt-putt at Fairfield Fun Center.  Finding an outdoor place was harder than you'd think here, presumably because no one would want to play outside during the winter season.  We were the last people on the course before they closed.  Between the good food, perfect weather, and deep and thoughtful conversations it was a perfect date night.

SUNDAY'S BEAUTIFUL WEATHER, FAMILY RUN
Sunday morning we attended church as usual.  Then after lunch I got to watch the Bengals stomp Tennessee (33 to 7), and Amanda went climbing with Clara at Lifetime Fitness.  Clara did much better than we expected, considering how little she is!  Before dinner, we went for a jog as a family, stopping halfway at a small pond in the adjacent neighborhood..  Well, Amanda and I jogged, the big kids rode their bikes, and Clara rode in the stroller.  But it was still good exercise and we took our lazy dog along too - she surprisingly ran for almost the entire way!

When we returned home from the run, Clara wanted to stay outside and enjoy the weather.  So I grabbed a baseball and a small kid-sized glove and we both played catch for a while.

ULTIMATE FRISBEE
Finally, after dinner I went to church to help out with the high school youth group (like most Sunday evenings).  Before the worship/talk/small groups though we played Ultimate Frisbee.  More outdoor exercise is just fine for me!

It was a fantastic and memorable weekend.

Snowy Sunny Sabbath

Despite us not making it to church this morning, I had a great day with the kids/family.

I made my breakfast specialty of egg/cheese/ham sandwiches. Then I went outside to shovel the driveway (with the kids following me), and we all ended up playing in the snow.  Despite it being chilly (25 degrees), the sun was out so it felt good to be outdoors.  I pushed the kids in sleds down the driveway and we all had snowball fights too. Then before lunch I spent a few minutes to play LEGO with them (all 3 kids).

Later (after nap/rest time), we went to our gym and ran around their indoor field kicking soccer balls and shooting around on the basketball court. Finished with Taco Bell for dinner (not healthy, but tasty) and ice cream sandwiches for dessert.

Grandma L. is Gone

I got a call last Sunday (3/3/13) from my family in Florida saying that my dad's mom had been transferred to a hospice and was not expected to last very long.  Then on Tuesday I received messages that her health was declining rapidly.  So I made arrangements to take the earliest flight I could to go back home, to Orlando.

The trip to get there had several challenges and setbacks though.  After missing my first flight (I-71 and I-75 traffic was stop and go), then missing the connecting flight after I was rerouted (the plane was stuck on the CVG tarmac due to weather conditions), I finally made it to Sarasota on Wednesday morning.  I was then able to borrow my sister-in-law's car to get to the hospice in Orlando.

The next 5-6 days were a weird and emotional roller coaster of an experience.  Aside from spending time with my family (siblings, cousin, aunt and uncle), and wonderful one-on-one time with my mom (who I stayed with), I mostly just sat next to a hospice bed that held a shell of the woman who was my grandmother.

Grandma Nettie (short for Antoinette) was always spunky and lively.  The above picture was taken in November 2011, when my family was in Florida for Thanksgiving.  Whenever we visited her, she would delight in serving food and bustling about between the kitchen and dining room.  She wasn't much of a listener, but she had fascinating stories about herself and of our family's history.

Now she couldn't speak at all though.  She did periodically make groaning noises, but I had no idea if she was trying to talk, if she was expressing a high level of pain, or if it was all just involuntary.  She opened her eyes once or twice, primarily after the attendants (I guess they were nurses?) turned her over to make her comfortable.  But her eyes were completely glossed over, like her conscience was enveloped in a thick grey fog.

Several people told me that she (and others in her state) can still hear and process everything around her.  I don't disbelieve them, but I couldn't observe anything to indicate that this was true.  I'm not someone who is often at a loss for words, but I had a difficult time figuring out what to say to someone in her state, especially when there's no response or indication of her hearing me.  There's no encouragement to give her about getting better, and the normal topics of everyday life (weather, food, politics, etc) seem completely pointless.  I finally determined that the only topics that really mattered is (a) telling her I love her, (b) thanking her for who she was to me and my family, (c) thanking her for how she influenced my life (directly and indirectly), (d) talking about the life that I think is to come for her, including a request to give my dad a big hug for me, and (e) Jesus.  Through the duration of my time there I talked to her numerous times, including reading her the Bible for a bit.

She finally passed away on Saturday afternoon (3/9).  Although several other family members were there at the hospice (my mom, my aunt, myself), somehow at that moment my brother Steven was the only person in the room with her.  Her memorial is scheduled for this Tuesday (due to scheduling complications at the church she requested), but at this point I don't think I can afford either the travel costs or the additional time off of work.

She will be missed by us all though.

Is Development of Determination Detrimental?

Amanda and I watched Zero Dark Thirty a couple weeks ago (2/15), which was a great movie.  I was struck by one particular characteristic of both the main character and the NAVY SEALs.  All of these people have the type of personalities that completely refuse to quit, who are ruthless in their pursuit of a goal, who absolutely do not allow anything short of death to discourage them or dissuade them from conquering their foes or accomplishing their mission.

I've had moments in my life where I felt some small semblance of this, but the tenacity and ruthless persistence that it takes to be a SEAL is a whole nutha level (or 3).  I can't help but wonder though if people are just born with that quality and/or if it's a result of experiences they encountered in their lives.

Recently, I was watching the preview video for UFC157, which featured Ronda Rousey vs. Liz Carmouche as the main event.  Ronda told a story about breaking her toe in Judo class when she was young.  She walked over to her mom crying about it, but her mom (who was a Judo Olympian) didn't want to hear it, saying "You still have nine more.  Come to me when you break nine and only have one left."  Then she made her run laps around the gym with her broken toe.

I don't know if Ronda would have naturally been a good fighter on her own, but there is no doubt that her mom had a significant impact on her mental and physical development as a fighter.  And while her parenting style may be a bit extreme, it left me to ponder further not only whether determination and perseverance are innate or inspired, but also what effect I could have in the development of my kids' character.

I want to figure out what the best way to pursue this is though - to be a dad who is loving and encouraging, while also doing what I think should be a better job of instilling strength, toughness, courage, and determination in my children.

Unsolicited Marriage Advice

I originally started compiling these ideas/suggestions for my brother, who is newly married.  I was going to include some or all of them in the "best man toast/speech" at his wedding, but it was just too long and probably too preachy.  But what are big brothers for, if not to give unsolicited advice?  So for Steve or whoever else cares, here are my observations and suggestions from my 12 years (so far) of marriage experience.

The first year of marriage in all likelihood will have more challenges than you anticipated. In fact, it very well may suck. With any big change in your life, there's a recalibrating process to go through. An adjustment to the changes of what is now considered “normal”.  Amanda and I dated for 5 ½ years before we tied the knot. I was plenty mature at 29 years old too.  We were (and still are), more compatible than most other couples I know.  We grew up only about a mile away from each other, had similar senses of humor, moral values, on and on.  Needless to say, we get along great!  But even with all of these factors being in our favor, that first year of marriage was really difficult!  Many other couples I've talked to (although not all) have echoed this same experience too.

When you encounter disputes, be the first to step up and reconcile. Even though it stings your pride (sometimes a lot), think of it like a game, and the first one to apologize and/or humbly start communicating wins. Because really you do.

Give each other grace. Remember that nobody is perfect except for Jesus, and your spouse isn't Him.

When there are ongoing issues or deficiencies that I think exist in the relationship with my spouse, I have found that the problems I am experiencing often directly mirror my relationship with God.  I'll use the most common challenges I've heard from other married people as examples:

• Problem: My wife is lazy. She doesn't exercise or take care of her body enough.
  Spiritual Parallell:  Well, how much time do you spend on your relationship with God? On taking care of your spirit?  Work on fixing that first.  Combine that with praying for your spouse and see what happens.
• Problem: My wife isn't interested enough in intimacy.  In fact, most of the time she could care less about it.
  Spiritual Parallell:  How intimate/available are you to God?  Do you pursue Him?  Do you let Him into your heart/spirit/mind?  Think about what this looks like spiritually and try to correct it.  Then combine that with prayer for your spouse and see if it helps your marriage.
  
• Problem:  My husband doesn't give me the attention or affection I want, I NEED.
  Spiritual Parallel:  But how much affection or attention are you giving to God?  Are you "dating" Him by spending time alone with Him?  Are you pursuing, praising, and appreciating Him like you want your husband to do with/to yourself?  Start there and also pray for your husband, then see what God does in your marriage.

To summarize this idea, when I focus on improving my relationship with God (based on the issues I have with my spouse), I'm amazed at how God helps to solve the problems in my marriage for me.  So first fix this (point to yourself) and this (point between yourself and to the sky), before you try to fix each other (which will never work anyway).

Periodically ask your spouse, or at least yourself this question – are you everything your spouse desires?  On another level, are you everything your spouse fantasizes about?  This might not be terribly relevant at first, but the longer you're married the more you'll have to fight against complacency (especially with the addition of kids and life's stresses), and the more important these questions become.

And finally, be resolved that divorce is not an option.  Our culture tells us that it is, but I disagree.  Unless there is abuse involved, don't dare even mention "the d word", ever.  If the thought even crosses your mind, rebuke it and instead focus your thoughts on creative ways to reconcile and rebuild.  If necessary, seek counseling from someone you can both agree on (it may take many tries to find the "right" counselor).  You can also try asking for mediation, prayer, or whatever else you have to do to make it work.

Some Nights, Some Days

I know I lead a blessed life and most of my problems are "first world problems", but there are some moments when I get really annoyed that I can't escape my responsibilities.

NIGHTS:
Last night, for example.  It was Friday night, and a much needed payday too.  What I really wanted to do was celebrate - go out with Amanda to grab a beer at a sports bar with some friends.  Hang out, socialize - just relax and enjoy life a bit.  But instead we went to Panda Express for dinner to go, and we introduced the kids to "Willow" (they only finished the first half before it was bedtime).  And that was fine and fun.  Then the kids went to bed, and Amanda and I went downstairs to mess around on the computers (Amanda is addicted to 365project, and I like enjoy browsing through the cleaner posts on The Chive), followed by us watching an episode of "The Walking Dead".  Then we went to bed.

I know, I know.  We could have gotten up and done something different.  It's not like we didn't have any choices in the matter of what we could do at home.  But there are some nights when I just don't feel like doing anything here at home, in the same, normal place. Especially when it's just so easy to default to our routine.

I also miss spending time with friends.  I love being with my wife more than anyone else in the world, but sometimes I really want to be with other people too.  Also, I seriously enjoy my family here (Mom and Dad C., Katie and Jimmy, etc), even more than I thought I would before we moved here.  But sometimes I want to be with peers - people of my age group, in similar circumstances (kids, etc), and maybe even of the same faith as us.  Don't get me wrong - I don't want any less time with our family here, I would just like to have some time with friends too.

This is the trade off of moving to Ohio though I guess, at least for now.

DAYS:
Then, this morning when I woke up to hearing the kids walking around upstairs at 6:20am, I thought about how I get up to my alarm every morning at 6:20 - 6:30am, and today I just want to sleep in a bit, damnit!  I got out of bed and let Amanda get ready for the gym (we would both go later if the kids weren't sick), then took care of getting the kids' a snack, pouring their drinks, fixing the girls' hair, and helping Lucas use an inhaler because he keeps coughing.  But oh how I would love to just sit down and ponder what to do with my day.  Or for Amanda and I to share a quiet cup of coffee together and figure out what we can do together, without having to deal with our little people, who happen to be BIG responsibilities.  Then there's the dog too.  Ugh.

Again, I know these are first world problems.  I'm sure that I sound like a whiny little brat to God, who gave me so many wonderful choices and blessings, including a job that I enjoy, a fantastic and beautiful wife, and my children who are truly freakin' awesome and incredible.  But there are just some days when I would like a little bit less responsibility, and to be able to enjoy the freedom associated with it.

Fun Sunday, Grace by Distraction

Last weekend we went to Clifton Mill, Clifton Gorge, and Young's Dairy Farm (for a pumpkin fair) with Amanda's family.  The scenery was breathtaking at both Clifton locations (check out the pictures from my phone), and it was great to be outside and walking around in the cool air.  

The Dairy Farm was fun too.  We had a tasty lunch at the restaurant there.  Lucas and I navigated through a corn maze (picture below).  The girls got to ride in a little airplane ride that was pulled by a tractor.  We also ate some ice cream and picked a pumpkin from the patch too.  

Because we knew we would be gone for the whole day, we utilized a coupon for a free day of boarding at PetSmart for our dog, Hope.  The only drawback to boarding her though was that we had to make sure we arrived back at PetSmart before they closed for the day.  

Well, we were in the middle of eating our ice cream when Amanda realized that it was 5pm, and we were approximately an hour drive away from PetSmart, which closed at 6pm.  So we loaded up in the minivan and raced against the clock to get there on time.  

Well, maybe "racing" wasn't the best idea, I realized as the blue and red lights flashed behind me.  How fast, you ask?  76 in a 55.  Yep, >20mph over.  Truth be told, I really didn't realize I was going that fast.  The happy ending to this story though, is that after collecting my license and returning to his car, he immediately and briskly walked back, handed me my license, and informed me that he's letting me off with a warning.  Then he briskly walked back to his car and sped off after someone else.  

I don't know if they were in the hundreds of mph range, or if it was just Amanda's prayer just before pulling over.  But whatever the reason, grace was given that day, and we gladly accepted it.

And we actually made it to PetSmart in time.  Right at 6pm.  On the nose.

Brotherly Introspection

My brother Steven visited us for a few days in the last week of July.  The last time I had the opportunity to hang out with him was in Orlando last year, for Thanksgiving.  I even wrote a (very) brief post  about it here

Although we only got to see him for three evenings and one day, it seemed like we fit a lot in to that small amount of time.  We went to the gym a couple times, dined out and walked around at Newport on the Levee, played darts at my house (we each won 3, but he was playing much better than me), chilled out on my back porch while drinking cinnamon whiskey, and went to Kings Island on Friday.

Steve and me at Newport on the Levee

There are many things I admire and respect about Steve, who is 11 years younger than me.  The one thing that stands out the most though, and even inspires me, is his toughness.  He is (like my dad was) somewhat of a bad ass.  He has a major attitude, an abundance of testosterone, and I doubt he would ever back down from a brawl.  Almost every time I see him (once a year at best), he has a new story of a fight that he has participated in.  They're usually not his fault, or if so then it was probably for a good reason.  This time, for example, he told the story of observing a man pushing a woman down in a parking lot, so that she fell backwards on the cement.  After witnessing this he exchanged some words with the dude, and ended up laying the guy out cold.

There once was a time when I was clearly his "big" brother (bigger, stronger than him).  But 12 years of marriage, 7 years of children, and a career in engineering do little to foster the pursuit of fitness.  And while I have never given up on this battle (I'm a week or two out from washboard abs, if I really dedicated myself to diet and exercise for that duration), he has been steadily gaining and then surpassing me on that front, especially since he's never had those family responsibilities to hinder his efforts.  Don't get me wrong, my family and career are all tremendous blessings, and I would prefer their hindrance any day to being able to work out regularly and/or pursue other manly hobbies (martial arts, cars, etc).  I'm just saying that priorities change, and the affects of the 11 years between us has now swung in his favor, physically speaking.

After hanging out together, I found myself adapting his behavior a bit, wanting to be "tougher", badder, to have the "edge" and attitude that he possesses. I guess I wanted to "keep up" with him in that regard, to some extent anyway.  After thinking about it more though, I came to the conclusion that I really don't want to project my toughness on the outside like Steven does.  Instead, as a Christian (aka follower of Jesus), I want others to feel drawn to me (as they were to Jesus), not afraid of me or intimidated by me.  In other words, I would rather reflect outwardly the love of God that resides within me.

Aside from the Christian perspective, most reasons that fighting occur are stupid, foolish, and immature.  Not only that, but since I have a family to take care of and young kids to raise, I have to consider whether the unnecessry health/life risk is really worth it.

On the other hand though, is there anything less manly than excessive risk consideration and reduction?  I don't want to stick my neck out for no reason, but if I act like a wimp for the sake of ensuring that I'm able to raise my kids, then is having an ever-present coward for a dad really the best scenario?  In addition, how do you know whether or not you can fight if you've never tried?  Or how to you increase your inner strength without testing (and hopefully displaying) your outer courage and resolve?

So what if some douche bag wants to bump shoulders with me when walking by?  Instead of me bowing up, squaring off, and/or staring him down, I hope that I would instead either laugh about it (knowing that he's a douche bag), or even consider disarming him verbally, maybe by starting a conversation with him "hey man, nice tattoo".  Sounds a bit crazy, but isn't that what Jesus would do, especially if it's possible that it would open up an opportunity to talk about my faith?  

But here is the kicker - I want to make sure that I still have an abundance of toughness on the inside.  I want to make sure that there is still a killer psycho who (if an injustice is observed, or a victim needs assistance) can open up a gigantic, exploding can of whoop ass on those who need/deserve it.  I want to know that there is an inner warrior that is still deep down within, and can be tapped if absolutely necessary.  So that is the question I am now posing to myself - am I as tough as I want to be, as much as I feel that I should be on the inside?  Do I really have that inner strength?  If not, then how can I develop it and nurture it again (like I did when I was younger and trained in kickboxing)?

I recently watched the movie Act of Valor.  In it, the following statement is made: 

"The hardest thing about growing old is that
other men no longer see you as dangerous".  

That makes sense, but I've decided that the hardest thing for me about growing old is not the danger that others may or may not see in me, but wondering if I see myself as still having enough strength, courage, and/or righteous anger to be dangerous.

"You Wanna Get Outa Here?"

I just got back from meeting my brother and his friend Troy at a nearby bar (The Post Time Lounge).  You know the character that's played by Ryan Gosling in the movie Crazy Stupid Love?  Well, my brother is Jacob Palmer in real life, only more manly.  No joke, it's almost amazing to watch really.

Why Are You Still Afraid?

I took my daughters to a nearby park on Wednesday morning while Amanda was helping with Lucas' first grade class.  It was Sept 14th, the week after I received my layoff notice.

One of the pieces of playground equipment that Clara decided to climb was like a spiral ladder, with one bar for each of the steps.  Well, this was a little bit challenging and scary for a two year old, so I stood by her and offered my assistance and instruction ("now reach to this bar with your left hand.  There you go...").  I also stood prepared to catch her, in case she lost her grip or balance.

She had made it all the way to the top step/bar, and all she had to do at that point was step over to the main portion of the equipment platform. She was fairly high off the ground though, so she was (justifiably) afraid.  To help alleviate or at least minimize her fear, I reached over to her and held one of my hands flat on her chest and the other against her back.  I was next to her, so I couldn't hold under her arms comfortably.  My presence and touch wasn't sufficient to combat her hesitation though, so she refused to take that last big step to stability.

I was thinking to myself though "What on Earth are you afraid of, when you can feel both of my hands on you?  Don't you know by now that I'm easily strong enough to hold you up, since I do it all of the time?  And you should know by now that I would catch you before you fall, and that I would never let you get hurt, especially when I'm standing right here next to you.  So why are you still afraid, child?"

Then I had the realization that God was telling me that that's how He feels about me.  Why should I be afraid when I know God is way big and strong enough to hold me?  I should stop being scared and trust His strength, even in potentially difficult situations (like being unemployed).

Best. Birthday. Eva. - Part 2

After our 2-day, 1-night getaway to Nevada City, Amanda and I planned to pick up our kids from the Walker's house (our good friends who were watching them for us).  We stopped at our house first though to drop off the car and check to see if they might be there.  When we walked in the door, we did indeed find our kids there, playing in the backyard.  But with them was someone else, a big surprise for me - MY MOM FROM FLORIDA!  I was a bit stunned at first, what I was seeing took a few seconds to register in my brain (mom, lives in Florida, but yet here, huh? how?).  It was funny and weird how it just didn't compute for a little bit. 

She had put the surprise together and made it happen in two days time.  My brother was a big part of the answer to her prayers (donated frequent flyer miles) for her to be able to come out here.  It was great to see her!

The next day (Sunday), she and I planned a date to get some coffee together at Origin Coffee & Tea, which is a non-profit coffee house that fights against sex trafficking.  It was great to have the quality time together.  I was expecting to have the Walkers over for dinner when I arrived home, but when I walked in the door I found many more familiar faces in front of me.  "SURPRISE!!"  It was the first surprise party that I had ever been the victim, er I mean recipient of :-).  We had pizza, we had conversation, we ate cake.  A good time with great friends!  And a fantastic way to add icing on the cake of what was my best birthday ever.

10 years ago, I had a fun weekend celebration for my 30th birthday.  Unfortunately though, we lost the film from it and so I have no proof or physical media to remember it with.  This way more than surpassed it though.

Now I want to, no I HAVE to give a few thanks.  First to God for giving me so many blessings (health, job, family, and so many great people in my life).  To my brother Steve for helping my mom make it out here to visit.  To my best friend Brian and his family for watching the kids, Saran wrapping my car, picking my mom up from the airport, and keeping the party under wraps.  And to all of the great friends that attended the party.

But first and foremost, above and beyond, I can't believe how awesome Amanda is for pulling this all off.  Not only is it amazing that she thought to do it and put forth the effort, but that is was so successful and such a blessing to me.  Thanks babe, I appreciate it and I love you.

Mr. Mom, part II.

The second weekend after Amanda got back from Ohio, she turned right around again and headed to North Carolina.  She has been planning a college roommate reunion for quite some time, and had long since purchased the tickets for it.  So I was alone with the kids again for a long (4 day) weekend.  Here is the daily log:

Day 1:  Brought Amanda to the airport at 4:30am.  The kids actually went back to sleep when we got home, and even slept in!  Great start to the day (a bit more sleep).  For breakfast I made blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes (1/2 of each).  We all loved it!  Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were lunch.  Then for dinner I bought Save Mart chicken fingers and wings, along with broccoli salad, ambrosia salad, and hawaiian sweet rolls.  They scarfed that down too.  Not a very exciting day really, but it wasn't bad either, especially since all of the meals were successfully enjoyed by all.

Day 2:  Had the men's group over (only 2 guys this week), then had Amanda's left over french toast casserole for breakfast (the kids didn't like it so much, but I loved it).  Then we attempted to go to Wacky Tacky, but they were only letting parties in (birthdays or whatever).  The kids and me were pretty disappointed, especially since they were looking forward to it all morning. 

So we changed gears and decided to go to Whitney Park instead, which has the biggest play gym equipment that I have ever seen.  I noticed a Buick T-Type in the parking lot when we pulled in, and as we were parking, I noticed a gentlemen walking toward it with his son.  So I went over and asked if I could show the car to Lucas, since it's almost exactly like the vehicle that we're building the model of (a Grand National). He was happy to show it off.  After playing at the park for a while, we brought our cache of left-over tokens (from Clara's birthday) to Chuck-E-Cheese, and ate lunch there too. 

After nap was in the books, we went to get hair cuts (Lucas, Clara and me), followed up by renting Rango from RedBox and watching half of it while eating our smoothie dinner (with crackers, cheese, and bologna).  Then I gave the kids a bath and got them to bed at (gulp) 9:30pm.

Day 3:  We finished watching Rango this morning, then had a hodgepodge breakfast of cereal, eggs, english muffins, and strawberries.  We then headed over to the Effie Yeaw Nature Center from 11:00 - 2:00.  The kids enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a long hike for them.  We came home famished and had hot dogs with sauerkraut, beans, dried snap peas, and chips for lunch.  Unfortunately, Clara caught a short (15 - 20 minute) nap on the drive back, which caused her to not be able to nap at home, which sucked for me and made her a bit cranky the rest of the day. 

When everyone else was awake from their nap, we transferred all of the old sandbox sand into the basketball hoop, then washed out the sand box.  When it's dry tomorrow then we can add the new sand.  The girls were playing in the little pools while Lucas and I added one layer of paint onto his GN model.  Clara had taken off her diaper though and ended up pooping on the floor of the backyard.  We ended the day with Panda Express for dinner (Lucas' idea), then a scoop of ice cream at home for dessert.  I probably should have given them a bath, but hated to get them to bed later (was already just after 9pm) and had just given them one yesterday.

Day 4: Brought the kids to Wacky Tacky in the morning.  I think I got us there sometime between 10:30 and 11:00.  I brought my laptop and set up a table to try to get work stuff done while they played.  I had to take breaks though to a) make sure they were alright, b) give them snacks and water (I remembered to bring both), c) take care of Clara when she got hurt a couple of times and d) play with them a bit too, especially in the spongy ball pit.  We stayed until between 1:00 - 1:30.  I think we had PBandJ again for lunch, along with some other healthy sides like cheese, yogurt, canned peaches, and cherries.

After nap, it was time to get to business.  First we hit Big5 sporting goods to pick up a regulation frisbee (175grams) and 8 cones to possibly play Ultimate Frisbee with the high school kids tomorrow (Tuesday) night.  Then we deposited a couple of checks and stopped at Boston Market for dinner.  Before giving them an evening bath, we dumped two bags of new sand into the sandbox.  After bath it was time to start cleaning the house so it will look good for Amanda when she gets home.  Clean up went smoother this time, especially since there was more time to get it done. 

I got the kids to bed around 9pm, just before Tammy came over to hang out while I went to pick up Amanda from the airport.  As before, her plane arrived early so I had to pick her up at the ramp instead of meeting her as she came down the escalator like I would prefer.

Summary:  As a whole, I think this weekend with the kids went smoother than the last one.  I took the kids to do one fun thing per day, and I made a concerted effort not to raise my voice or lose my temper as much.

Mr. Mom for (almost) Five Days

Amanda's last remaining grandparent, Grandma Eggert, passed away on Tuesday night, 6/28 (or 6/29, depending on the time).  So Amanda caught a last minute flight to Ohio to be with her family while I watched the kids here at home.  She was gone for 4.5 days total.  Ideally, the kids will view their time with dad as somewhat fun at the least, and unforgettably great at best.  However, since I found that I myself was forgetting what we did only one or two days out, I decided to make a record of it.  So here is what we did:

Day 1:  Dropped off Amanda to airport, cinnamon/Raisin bread French toast for breakfast, Carl's Jr. picnic at Royer Park, swim class (got there in the nick of time).

Day 2:  Donuts for breakfast, went to Home Depot for a few things, played in the front yard and brought Eliot (our bearded dragon) outside for some fresh air too.  I also added more sand to his enclosure while he was out (we've been meaning to for months now).

Day 3:  Men's group from church came over in the morning, we had cereal for breakfast, smoothies for lunch (Lucas helped make it), then watched Karate Kid (the new one) in the evening with Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner.

Day 4:  Bagels for breakfast, was not able to make it to (either) church on time, found a new park (Westwood Park), brought Taco Bell to Royer Park for lunch.

Day 5: Was thinking that Amanda's flight arrived at 7pm, but at about 9am I realized that it was actually due to arrive at 11.  I really wanted her to come home to a clean house, so it was panic time.  Unfortunately, the last thing the kids ended up experiencing (although hopefully not remembering) was dad cracking the whip for the kids to help clean everything up. 

I had hoped to get to the airport with enough time to be waiting for her as she came down the escalator into the baggage pick-up area, but her flight ended up arriving early.  So we picked her up at the arrival ramp instead.

Special time with kids:  Worked on a puzzle with Emily,  Started a plastic scale model (of a Grand National) with Lucas, reading to Clara.

Chores completed:  Several loads of laundry,  several piles of dishes, shredded a pile of documents,
replaced light bulbs (hey, it counts).

Summary:  I enjoyed being Mr. Mom for the weekend, but the most difficult aspects of it were a) getting everyone ready to go anywhere, especially in the morning.  b) fitting in the planning and making of meals c) fitting chores of any kind into the mix while still taking care of the kids (especially Clara, who is more demanding at this age).

Halloween Appreciation

As a dad, Halloween is quite possibly my favorite holiday.

There's no pressure to spend a lot of money on presents, nor do we need to put together a basket full of goodies. It's community-oriented, as people actually walk around and communicate with each other (albeit minimally). I get a kick out of seeing the costumes, both on my kids and on those coming to the door. And the kids really enjoy it too!

New Couch Decor Too!

Emily threw up again today (Thursday). It happened right before I got home from work. This time it was all over the couch and living room though. Since Clara was still at the dinner table and the barf was quickly soaking into the cushions, I dropped my wallet and keys on the counter and got to work cleaning them up. Another day, another stinky puke mess to clean. Sigh.

New Bathroom Decor

It was Monday evening and Emily had been complaining about her stomach hurting. She is a very slow and minimal eater though, especially for dinner. She has a habit of not only filling her belly up on her cup of milk, but making excuses for why she cannot eat the rest of her food. "I'm cold" (it's 78 degrees in the house). "I'm full" (she only had one bite and will complain about being hungry in another hour). "my boo boo hurts" (it's a 3-day old scratch). ""I have to go potty" (then she reads three books over the course of an hour and only pees). "I don't like this food" (what's not to like about spinach and asparagus souffle with limburger cheese and liver?).

So her complaint was mostly ignored, although we let her sit on the couch for a while. When she said she felt better, I let her come back to the table and encouraged her to eat more. As per our usual routine, I tried to persuade her by offering dessert after a certain goal was met. Well, time ran out and she didn't reach her goal, so I didn't give her dessert. And in hindsight it was certainly for the best.

Amanda had already left to attend a Beth Moore Bible study with other women at church. The kitchen was a mess too, and I had just finished getting Clara down from the table. I had given her a small piece of chocolate cake, which she had eaten hand to mouth (still working on the fork skills). Needless to say, there were cake crumbs all over the kitchen and probably in three adjacent rooms besides. By now it was getting late and the kids still needed to get a bath before going to bed.

I was just finishing cleaning Clara's mess when Emily ran past me and into the bathroom. "I throwed up!" echoed from around the corner of the doorway. "Well, at least she made it to the bathroom" I thought "which means it should mostly be in the toilet, right?" Well, maybe not in the toilet.

How about on, and around, and in the books, and on the carpets, and cabinets, as you can see in the above picture (yes, I took a picture). Emily was sweet in trying to help, but to do so she grabbed a clean towel from the wall-mounted rack and threw it over the puke, hence adding another casualty to the carnage.

After cleaning up the mess and starting a load of laundry, I bathed the kids and got them to bed. It was an hour later than usual, but the end of the evening was never more welcomed.