Deadly Dream (from Thursday night, 4/31/2015)

I was in our house with my family.  Our house looked different though.  It was a little bigger and grander and had a lot more wood features.  I was on the top floor (it had at least three) and the rest of my family was at the bottom of the house.

I was on a ladder trying to fix something or another (replace a light bulb perhaps?).  When I started to get down, I lost my balance somehow and was falling off the ladder.  I tried to recover and jump down, and I was able to land on my feet with a loud thud.

Hearing the loud noise, Amanda yelled up to see if I was ok "MIKE!?"  I yelled back "I'M OK!" She yelled up again "MIKE, ARE YOU OK?"  I repeated my reassurance "YEP, I'M OK!"  This went on a couple more times, with her voice getting louder as she headed upstairs in my direction.  "Why can't she hear me, dang it!" I thought to myself.

Then I realized that I didn't land on my feet after all.  My soul was still alive and fully aware, but it was no longer in my body.  I didn't feel any pain, and I wasn't bummed about dying.  But as I woke up I felt immensely sad for the trauma that my family would soon encounter.

Dream on 11/18/2014

I was in a public place of some sort, with a female (sister, friend, unknown, but not romantic), both of us were sitting in white reclining plastic chairs.  There was also a small plastic table between us.  She warned me that "You should get your gun."  I was stunned by her statement and looked at her, confused.  Then she repeated it, but more urgently.  I replied that “my guns are at home”.

Just then three people walked up, wearing white outfits with red trim.  One woman and two men.  They were similar in size/gender to the three villains in Superman 2, but had otherwise drastically different appearances.  They were pointing odd looking guns at me, with multiple vertical slots at the end of the barrel, instead of a single hole.  I was thinking they were going to provide an electrical shock of some sort, like a tazer but possibly more powerful.  That was just a guess though.

I was closest to and facing the middle sized male, who seemed to be the leader.  He was wearing eye glasses (not shaded).  I was trying to decide whether to lunge to the side and rush in on him (hopefully avoiding the direction of the barrel and/or getting to him before he has the chance to pull the trigger), or what else I could do. 

I woke up at 5:20am, realizing that I need to do a much better job of preparing myself for the unlikely event of a threatening situation/attack.  In hindsight I could have grabbed the table and used it as a shield while rushing in.  I could have looked around me and maybe grabbed something to throw at him, striking first.  I should have also positioned myself better in relation to all three attackers, such that I would only have to directly confront the one main attacker first (instead of having all three aimed at me).  And finally, I should have reacted better/faster when she told me to get my gun and when I realized I was under attack (I was stunned/surprised like a deer in headlights).

I know, it was just a dream.  I don't believe that dreams are always foreshadowing, or even that they are supposed to necessarily mean anything significant (although I do think that both options are possible).  I also know that the likelihood of me ever getting attacked in the real world is slim to none, let alone with a scenario similar to this dream.  However, having experienced in my mind the emotions and thoughts associated with this type of event, it seems foolish to not at least be better prepared for something similar, even if it does only happen in my dreams again.

The Joys of the Gym

One of the many things I enjoy about working for GE is the benefit of their nearby gym.  At $15/month, the facility and equipment aren't anywhere near as impressive as Gold's or LA Fitness, but they have all the equipment I need, they're rarely crowded in the mornings (I try to get there around 6:30am), and the building is less than a mile from my desk.

Like any gym, there is a wide variety of people you’ll see there, but lately I've been finding myself observing the oddities of humanity more than usual.  This provide a mixture of amusement, amazement, annoyance, and sometimes disgust.  Some examples of the things I've seen recently are:

• I typically go to the same locker area, mostly out of habit.  But if my usual area of the locker room happens to be crowded, or even if there are just one or two guys in the vicinity, I’ll shift to a different one.  Most of the lockers are empty in the morning anyway, so there are hundreds of options to choose from.  Similar to the shower though, it still surprises me when a man walks in a virtually empty and spacious locker room, then just has to go to his usual locker, which is right next to or just across from mine.
  
• My work out partner actually found toe nail clippings on the floor in front of the lockers.  What kind of man would think that this is acceptable behavior?  If I were to see someone in the act of doing this, I would have a really hard time not saying something to him.
  
• Sure, aftershaves and/or body sprays often provide decent aromas, but when the entire locker room is gagging from the overpowering stench, how can you not tell that you've used too much?  I mean, how can someone’s sense of smell be that bad, that they would need to use an entire bottle in order to tell that it’s enough for one day?  I feel bad for anyone who is working next to him, or even in the same building.

After using the gym in the morning, I always take a shower before heading to work.  That’s provided some interesting fodder as well, including:

• There are 18 separate enclosed shower stalls (w/a curtain as the door).  Since a lot fewer people go to the gym in the morning than any other time of day, there aren't too many stalls being occupied when I shower (2-3 at a time maybe).  Why then, when I’m taking a shower, must a man pick the stall directly next to mine?  This may sound a little extreme, but it kinda grosses me out to know that some guy’s shower water could be running down his naked body then splashing on me from under the gap at the bottom of the partition.  If enough shower stalls are available, then can’t you just leave a gap between us?
  
• I have seasonal allergies (for a week or two each in the fall and spring), so I know how it can be when your nose and/or lungs are struggling with the blockage that sometimes accompanies these times of year.  I also know how working out can help clear some of this blockage (force the cardiovascular system to expand and open up).  But do you have to spit your cleared blockages on the shower floor?
  
• My co-worker/workout partner Chris noticed some of the shower stalls have boogers smeared on the walls.
  
• I once found a used band-aid in the shower’s soap dish.  Luckily I didn't see any blood or puss on it, but even still…
  
• There is an odd looking man with very fair skin and gray hair.  He’s tall and slightly overweight, (but not obese).  He has a nasally voice and does not look like he has a single hair on his face or his entire body.  How do I know this?  Because he often stands in the locker room air drying for an extended period of time.  Sometimes he shakes his hips with his towel waving in the air behind him, like he’s trying to dry his backside.  But he’s not really trying to dry off – it’s just a sickening show.  I thought to myself “am I being too judgmental?”  But I asked my workout partner about it, and he laughed and exclaimed “Yeah, of course I noticed, and I hate that!”
  
  A few weeks ago when I got out of the shower he was doing his usual thing in the locker room aisle, but this time he was standing on one foot and had the other one propped up on the front of a standing fan, so that the fan can blow on his little pink, bald junk.  I couldn't take it anymore and said “Come on!  Really?!”  He looked over at me.  “Do you really have to prop your foot up and dry your balls off in front of everyone?”  He stepped down and responded guiltily “I’m um, drying my toes.  Have you ever had athletes foot?”  “Yeah, I have.”  I replied, calling his bluff.
  
  I didn't see him in the locker room for a number of weeks after that.  I wasn't trying to be a bully, but blatantly airing your manhood for way more time than necessary is just gross and inconsiderate of everyone else around you.

Bad Dream

I had a dream on the morning of 2-27-2014 that woke me up earlier than I expected to. In it my family and I were on vacation and staying in a cabin of some sort. We couldn't find Clara for a little while (my 4 year old girl). After a little while we realized she was out on the front porch. But she wasn't alone - there were other people there with her. I somehow knew they were nearby residents - a redneck looking guy, four of his sons (middle school aged I think), and a female too. Clara is normally very cheerful and happy, but now something was very wrong. She looked sad and forlorn and wouldn't even look me in the eye. I knew something had happened and I feared the worse. The last thing I remember is that i had a medium sized camping knife and I was rapidly determining what the best way to use it would be, and on whom. Then I woke up.

Clarification of Mental/Spiritual Classification

I’ve said this before, but it seems worthwhile to restate it and provide additional clarification regarding my previous post about demonic possession.

I do believe that mental illness exists.  I don't want to over-spiritualize everything and say that every human flaw is due to “evil forces”.  I believe in scientific discoveries that lead to progress with medical diagnosis and solutions.  I fully accept that there are people that suffer from chemical deficiencies in the brain and/or other mental anomalies.  Some examples of circumstances that I am comfortable categorizing as mental illness could be slightly irrational thinking, emotional instability, lack of mental clarity/focus, difficulty functioning in everyday life or carrying out certain tasks, etc.  Other examples of legitimate mental issues are those that arise because of some traumatic experience, such as post traumatic stress disorder (soldiers after war).

However, there are also many stories and cases that I’ve either read about in the news or heard from first-hand accounts that it does not make sense to assign to the category of mental illness.  Examples of these are where people deliberately cause sexual or psychological harm to innocent victims (children or other people who have done nothing wrong to deserve it), those that contain elements of physically impossible feats (child walking up a wall, man walking around in fire without getting burned, etc.), people who clearly “hear voices” that tell them to do evil things, or people who act in a manner that is consistent with displaying what would be expected in the case of demonic possession (shrieking or recoiling upon hearing the name of Jesus, speaking in a different voice or multiple voices and with a completely different personality, etc.).  Yes, those are actual news stories, and there are plenty more examples near the bottom of my web site here.

I believe it’s important to bring attention to the effects/actions of evil – because my hope is to shine a spotlight on what I believe is a real, plausible enemy who wishes pain, frustration, and ultimately destruction upon each human being.  Because only upon realizing that you have an enemy can you see his/her/its deeds for what they are and try to defend against them.  Also, my hope is that the realization of this unseen enemy helps to promote our need for someone who can assist us, who is not only our spiritual advocate but also the ultimate conqueror/ruler of this unseen realm.  That person is Jesus.

In addition to recognizing the existence of evil, my desire is for everyone to look at each negative news story individually and determine whether they can be categorized as a simple human flaw (mental anomaly of some sort), or if it’s at least remotely possible, and in some cases highly probably, that the root cause could be something supernatural.

Discussion About Demons

On January 29, 2014 I posted a link in Facebook to an odd USA Today story.  The FB post led to a lengthy but interesting discussion about personal experiences, demons, possession, and belief (or lack thereof) in all things supernatural.  Similar to the Mega-churches discussion, I wanted to capture the key points and stories of the discussion in this blog, for posterity sake.

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Most of the time the source of negative news events can be excused as either (a) crimes of passion, (b) misunderstood and/or emotionally scarred people, (c) victims of upbringing/culture, (d) desperation, (e) mental illness, or whatever other (perhaps valid) reasons.

But every once in a while, I read or hear about a story for which the only conclusion that can be reached about it is the existence and engagement of evil - the supernatural/spiritual kind. This is one of those stories (the picture links to the article): 

Strange events lead Ind. family to resort to exorcism

Robert:  If u believe in The Lord how come so many disbelieve in stories like this ... Really makes me wonder why people don't believe that true evil exists and is always around us ...  

Joel:  When I read ghost stories like this, my only thought is "yawn. So another group of liars or people with over active imaginations". In today's age, digital proof is pretty easy to get. They didn't bother though because it is bs. They know it, I know it

Anyways I will admit they did a good job on the music. It for sure creepy and sets the mood.

 

Shelley:  Joel, all due respect, unless you have come face to face with a demon, you HAVE NO CLUE! God gave me the discernment of Good and evil, not something I would wish on anyone,not a gift I asked for, because with it, comes great responsibility, and it's something that will rock your soul. I've spoke with demons that filled my brothers body, he spoke like someone from a freaking movie. He was possessed, also a drug addict for many years on and off. Believe me, you have no idea!. After God laid it on my heart to stay and pray with him,(which I refused, yet, as I turned to leave the apartment, God grabbed me by the shoulders and told me to stay and pray for him.) I fought those demons. He screamed, his body did awful things, his eyes went black, he couldn't breathe. Imagine coming to tell your brother goodbye (possibly for the last time, because you knew he was going to kill himself) and hold him, tell him you loved him, and that Jesus loved him, only to have his eyes go black, look you in the face and growl, say "god doesn't love me!" Then, with the help of your mother, get him onto the bed, pray for him, and watch him writhe in pain, and then, reach under the covers to find a three foot machete hidden under perfectly folded clothing. They wanted him to kill himself. I fought for hours with this demon. I literally went home and slept for over 24 hours for fighting them. So yeah, they DO exist. God be the glory, he is free and we are going to work on writing a book about his years of drug addiction, demon addiction and freedom in Christ.
Now, clean and sober, he recently told me, without me praying for him, he was going to take his life that night.  

Michael:  Shelley, that is a crazy story, but I believe it. No Joel, that doesn't make me gullible, because (a) I trust Shelley as a reliable/sane source of information and (b) that fits with the stories/information in the Bible, as well as my theology and understanding of the supernatural. Steve, when are you going to tell your story about the mental institution?  

Paul:  Joel, I am a retired police lieutenant and a close friend and police captain lived in a very haunted house at one time. He had to leave it. I experienced it also. I also have had my own experience with the super natural as an older teenager. I guess if you haven't had the experience then you cannot understand the reality. I kind of feel sorry for you. I won't waist anymore time on this with you. You probably don't believe in multi dimensions or the fact that an object can be in two places at the same time. Those are no longer theories but facts of quantum physics that have been proven. Have a nice and secure life in your limited reality.  

Steve:  Mike L -- Ok, for what it's worth here: I was a physics/geology major in college. I, like Joel, love science and enjoy quantum physics, astronomy, cosmology and the scientific method, etc... I truly value and appreciate where Joel. is coming from. We all should understand and appreciate Joel's points. But here's the trouble: In Feb 1982, I met a student on my floor (Oswego State College) who evidenced remarkable characteristics and (in my presence and the presence of 7 others) upon reading the Bible fell on the floor into a trance-like state and spoke with a completely different voice, and began cursing Jesus in the most intense way. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. The voice responded in great fear and screaming agony to the words of the Bible or to the name of Jesus Christ. The 32 guys on my floor all heard the screaming in another voice while he was in the trance-like state. This event was repeated on 3 other occasions in the Mental Institutions first, and when they were unable to do anything, the pastors in various churches came in to help by Biblical exorcism. This event was both witnessed by 15 or more people and documented by professors at the college. Yes, Joel, under very controlled situations, this was repeated as the "demonic" being would manifest itself, identify itself, respond to questions and scream against JC. The scientific method could have been applied and would not have mattered. The scientifically trained personnel actually ran out of the room and that's when they asked the pastors to do "something." I am sorry if this sounds like hyperbole. It is not. I have it all documented by Professor Knapp. But this forum is not the place to discuss this as the situation was far more graphic than I can detail here. Yes, I still love mathematics, rationality, science and logic and these are great tools for the world we live in. But they have their shortcomings too.  

Joel:  I appreciate the comment Steve. And what I will say is that I typically always reevaluate the world around me, and try and characterize how the events I witness fall within this distribution. As I said, I believe the events I experience in life follow a Gaussian distribution. The events you or others are describing are well outside of that distribution, and thus is something that wouldn't cause me to reevaluate what I believe is true. I think in general if I witnessed the events you described, I'd probably want to seek the assistance of biologist and chemist and do an analysis of their chemical balance. I'd want this person connected to brain electrodes such that we could measure and chart brain wave activity. I'd want all interactions video taped, audio taped, and carefully documented to capture the maximum amount of data I could on the situation. I wouldn't need to make any quick conclusions, but my main goal during this time would be to capture any and all possible data that could exist regarding this event. I wouldn't want this event to just be retold as 'trust us... we were there and you wouldnt believe what we saw'. You're right, I don't believe it. Show me. Why would you expect others to put faith in you, when you could have been more diligent in your documentation of this event? And let me just say I realize that my question is unfair to you in this case because this happened back in 82 before all the things I am talking about exist. However in a more modern situation, that could be done now. In Mike's link, the produce no evidence and rely and the viewer trusting that it isn't a hoax and to make it more believable they added a creepy sound track. Do you get what im saying? If this is such a common thing, where is the evidence? Where is the scientific analysis? Back to your example... How do you know for 100% scientific truth this this person you think was demon possessed wasnt actually screwing with you. Do you not think people can change their voice? Are you sure this person was of complete sane mental health? Do you have any real evidence here that supports what you believe about this event. If I knew you better I might honestly believe that you really saw all the events you described... but how do you know that what you saw is in fact what was really happening? Finally I just want to add... you say the scientific method wouldn't have been useful in that case but it is always useful. It's how we define the world. It's how we document, gather data, prove guesses, and refine our thoughts! It's always useful.  

Steve:  I really enjoyed reading your post Joel. My wife would be glad to know there are others like me that realize all of life falls on the Gaussian distribution! I'm always telling her that given a large enough population, most things fall on the distribution curve. Anyway, your questions about my "experience" are valid, very reasonable, thoughtful and fully appropriate. I would not suggest you or anybody "trust me" instead of following documented scientific methodology on researching such things. Having said that - in 1982 there were no cell phones or video cameras to document it. I wish there were. He was completely evaluated physiologically and mentally for 2 weeks. he was in superb health. He had no history of mental health. He was also in the ROTC program. Anyway, he had more than one voice emerge - there were multiple voices coming out at the same time. It sounded like a deep angry group within him (I mentioned in my earlier post that it was more complicated). Each voice was different, spoke different languages but all screamed at the name of Christ. Too bad this wasn't taped and analyzed. It went on for a few weeks. About the scientific method I mentioned earlier - I was obliquely referring to Thomas Kuhn's landmark book ("On the Structure of Scientific Revolutions") on the function of paradigms controlling what scientists actually "see." The Scientific Method is not as objective as people think. It carries with it an implicit subjective perspective that tends to "color" the evidence into supporting the prevailing view. Thus, some of the same "data" and scientific methodology for light as "wave" was also used for light as "particle." Einstein's 1905 work (photoelectric effect - where light functions as a particle) was not accepted originally by most scientists, not because the data wasn't there, but because their paradigm didn't allow for it. A better example would be the quantum mechanical revolution that proposed a radical break from a Newtonian deterministic worldview. (Space permits a more adequate treatment of this subject). At any rate, any data on the "demon" experience if caught and repeated (and it was) on tape with all the electrodes and scientists probably would help - but it's questionable that they would want to conclude that a "spirit being" actually exists. It would be ruled out by the fact that the prevailing paradigm of naturalism does not entail any possible spirit reality. That's what I was getting at. Your points and questions are superb. I do appreciate the logical rigor with which you are approaching this....By the way, I have NOT seen the video at the top of this post. So I can't comment on it. I know, I know, ... why am I posting if I have not seen the video? Because I am not that interested and it may be a hoax Joel - so I too am skeptical about such things.  

Jeffrey:  too many people that had nothing to gain by corroborating the story have done just that. When CPS and law enforcement say it happened but they have no idea how.... then it more than likely happened. One thing you have to understand are laws concerning digitally recording children. The CPS worker would not have been videotaping or recording with a cell phone the child in the hospital. She wouldn't have had a reason to. CPS gets involved to make sure a child isn't in an abusive/neglectful situation. This happened in NW Indiana, where I am from, and I'm still in contact with the people I worked with when I worked up there, and while I didn't know the particular CPS worker that witnessed this, those I know that work with her all say the CPS worker is known as honest to a fault... I know a few other things that tell me she was telling the truth, but I can't share them without putting my own job at risk due to privacy laws. Personally, I'm not sure what to make of it.... everything can be explained away by something logical except the wall walking... and that is the part that was witnessed by others that have nothing to gain by saying they saw it. Also, the police officers refused to go back into the house after an investigation because of things that happened that they couldn't explain. The whole thing is bizarre, and I can't help but believe this may be one of the few instances when one of these stories is true.  

Joel:  Interesting comments jeff. I drove through Gary a few years ago (stopping at MJ's childhood home) and that is a very unusual town in general. Based on your comments I went back and reread without watching the video, and that would be pretty creepy if it was even half true. I wonder how much of the real documentation I can find on this event? Does seem like there might be more to this story than my first impressions. I still think it's absurd they added music to their video, but now I wonder what real documentation I can get regarding this event. Perhaps the freedom of information act might turn up something?  

Michael:  Thank you all for your comments and participation in this discussion. I think we mostly managed to keep it surprisingly civil.  Joel, I hope you didn't feel ganged up on, but you seem to handle it with grace, which I appreciate. You never did reply to Steve's last comment though (thank you for expanding on it Steve), but maybe there isn't anything more to say about it. Jeffrey, thanks for your addition - it's always great to get input from someone who is closer to the story.  

Jeffrey:  Joel, there is a copy of the report involving cps with names edited out (because they are minors). The easiest place to find it is on tmz, but it is legit. You can find it elsewhere but tmz makes access easier 

Joel:  I talked with Steve offline. I don't think Steve and I have much more to discuss on this topic in a facebook setting. It's likely that he and I have similar viewpoints with different data sets. We might even make different conclusions on the analysis of the data, but I think we have similar approaches for processing data.

KCPO

There is a website that I really like called The Chive.  Admittedly, its primary purpose is mindless entertainment, with posts containing pictures associated with a particular theme.  It's a great site - the layout is simple and well organized, and the themed posts range from entertaining, comedic, occasionally informative, and even sometimes promoting good causes (raising money for them too). Unfortunately, there are also numerous posts centered around physical female features, which I mostly try to stay away from.

There is one peculiarity about it though that brings me to the point of this blog (no, it's not to promote their web site).  Their self-promotional slogan is to "Keep Calm and Chive On", or KCCO.  They sell various merchandise with this slogan (t-shirts, bumper stickers, etc), and people who frequent the site even call themselves "Chivers" and encourage each other to "Chive On".  It almost seems like the hard-core fans of this site get so engrossed in it that they not only seek to make it a "community", but I would venture to say it borders on becoming a religion.

For example, a Chive picture that someone could submit to the site (and then they would post) might say "I got hit by a monster truck and am barely hanging on to life by a thread. But I KCCO'd!".  So let me get this straight - you survived your life threatening ordeal by... surfing a web site. You're alive today and happy because you (again) looked at many, many posts of various pictures.  Or, for the picture below - you thought you might fall and hurt yourself, but you concentrated on a website full of pictures, and that helped you to find the courage and physical skill you needed.  REALLY?!?

Now, I know that not everyone believes in God, and those people sometimes have to find inspiration and courage from somewhere, so why not pick a fun web site I guess.  But for me, and hopefully other Christians too, the obvious alternative (and significantly improved) acronym for life inspiration is to Keep Calm and Pray On.  At least then you're pursuing spiritual peace, inspiration, and possibly even heavenly assistance to get you through your day/ordeal.  Heck, even if you don't believe in God, isn't focusing on something spiritual still better than giving credit/glory to a website that posts random pictures?

KCPO.

SNL = Sex Centered Comedy?

Last night Amanda and I watched SNL for the first time in years.  The latest episode I could find online was from March 9, 2013, hosted by Justin Timberlake.  The first skit was funny and revolved around him hosting the show for the 5th time.  From there though, all but one of the skits were centered around sex. 

Now I like sex as much as the next guy, and I think I'm pretty far from a prude.  I don't mind hearing a sex-related joke or watching a skit about it either.  But when the majority of the material you can come up with revolves around or involves explicit sexual content, isn't that a little ridiculous?  Here's a list of the skits and their topics:

1. The Five Timers Club - solid and funny, including appearances from many beloved hosts and cast members
2. Romantic Comedy - a mock movie trailer centered around a man's relationship with a transgendered woman (she had a shlong).
3. Weekend Update - funny and mostly non-sexual, but featured an annoying flamboyantly gay character named Stefon about halfway through though.
4. It's a Date - dating show where contestants compete for the bachelorette.  It centered around sex and ended with the contestants joking about having a fivesome.
5. Tales of Sober Caligula - talked about orgies, sex with various animals, etc. 
6. Maine Justice - mildly humorous, and surprisingly non-sexual.
7. NuvaBling - spoof ad of the Nuva Ring contraceptive ring = birth control for glam girls.
8. Moet & Chandon Ad - featured former porn starts selling perfume.  Funny, but primarily about sex again.

There you have it, 5.5 out of the 8 skits either talked about or were completely centered around sexual content, mostly explicit and/or perverse.  I can't help but wonder if that says something about our culture.  Is it really that focused on sexuality and I just don't realize it as being that depraved? 

Since this was the first time watching SNL in many moons, perhaps this episode was abnormal.  I'll probably give them the benefit of the doubt and try it again (at least one more time).  But I'm starting to miss Mad TV more and more.

Men Who are Meaninglessly Marked

Since moving to Ohio, I have asked about half a dozen guys with large and elaborate cross tattoos on their arms if there was any spiritual significance for their decor. For all of them, the answer was no. One just wanted a tattoo and liked the way it looked, another got it because his dad always wore a cross necklass around his neck, and yet another got it in honor of his brother who died, and on and on.

Now, I'm not trying to be judgemental, or imply that these men shouldn't have gotten these tattoos unless they believed in the faith that the symbol stands for. I'm glad at least a couple of them had some kind of personal or emotional purpose behind them. But I just found it interesting that all of these men are marked physically, but not at all spiritually. Which is more important? Hopefully the answer is obvious in that God cares about what's in our hearts and minds, and not about the ink on our shoulders.

Thankfully, I met a gentleman in the hot yoga class that I took on Saturday with a large cross on his back that actually had spiritual significance behind it. He was a Christian and said a Bible verse in Isaiah (I don't recall which specific verse) is what inspired him to get the tattoo. I shook his hand, gave him the brief story of my informal survey, and thanked him for not being one of the many men who are meaninglessly marked.

Not Acting My Age?

I had a funny and slightly awkward moment yesterday at work.

My friend/workout partner Chris turned 26 today, and another co-worker joked that he's almost 30.  Chris said that he didn't even want to think about that (turning 30).  I then commented that "oddly enough, turning 30 was worse for me than turning 40".  Everyone, including my boss, chuckled for a second then paused and said "wait, what"?  They couldn't believe that I am past 40 (I'll be 42 in July).  Chris made me show him my license.

Part of me thinks this is great because I must look young.  And part of me wonders if it could just mean that I act and/or dress too immature for my age.

It's A Sad World After All

In case you haven't seen or heard about this news article, a man recently sued Disney World for being stuck on the "It's a Small World" ride for, get this, 30 minutes.

Granted, he is handicapped (in a wheel chair), so life is harder as a whole for him.  And also, he only won $8,000, which doesn't seem like too obscene of an amount.  And additionaly, the ride didn't have any way for him to get off of it when it was stuck, but everyone else (not in a wheelchair) did have a way off.  So maybe it wasn't really too bad of a judgement.  I've certainly heard of worse.

But then again, I was stuck on that ride before too, for at least 30 minutes, if not longer.  And the amount of time that people have to wait just to get on that ride on a normal Disney day can be more than an hour.  Did I mention that that stupid freaking song plays over and over the whole time when you're waiting AND when on the ride?  Over and over.  And over.  Again.  *It's a small world after all...*  AAAAAaaaaggggghhhhh!!  I never thought of suing them though, I was just annoyed and thought that I have no desire to ever get on that ride again - EVER.  I'm sure I'll swallow those words for my kids some day though, if we finally decide to waste thousands of dollars to take them there, and if they want to experience the unjustified hype.

As a final thought though, if a lawsuit and negative press is what it takes to get them to get their act together with that pathetic excuse for a ride, then maybe it's for the best in the long run.  Maybe the experience won't be as bad if/when one day I'm persuaded to *take my kids there after all * (singing the song).

The Game of Hands (a Dream)

I had a weird dream last night (1/8/2013)

I was in a car with a friend (he was driving I think).  We pulled up to a fairly large cinder block building that we were planning on going into for some reason.  From inside the car we could see a few guys hanging out in front of the building, by the door.  My friend pointed out one of them and said "See that guy right there.  He's a royal dick."

I went inside (I don't think my friend did though).  I was hanging out there and the dick guy was giving me the eye.  No, not the "I'm gay" eye, but the one that is testing your will, seeing if you're a threat or not, and seeing if he can intimidate you to make you turn away.

Then someone suggested we play cards, so then we all sat down to play.  The dick guy was sitting across from me and was the dealer.  He said "I know a good game.  The game of hands."  In a second or two I realized that he was talking about fighting, especially since he was just holding the cards randomly (not like he was going to actually play with them).  I also knew that he was talking about fighting with me, since he was still giving me "the eye".

In a flash I began pondering options, including (a) punch him first and make it count, (b) play it cool and see what happens, (c) avoid a conflict at all costs, or ...?

I woke up undecided.

Mental Illness, or Something Else?

There are a lot of questions that arise from an incident like today's shooting in Connecticut.  The biggest ones are very naturally "Why?" and "What went wrong in a person to cause them to do such a thing?"

I've seen "mental illness" used a lot today as a possible answer.  I recognize that mental illness exists, and that chemical imbalances are sometimes present in the human brain, and that modern medicine can sometimes help to correct these imbalances.  So let me start there, by saying that I'm not discounting the existence of such things, I recognize that our culture discourages talking about it and seeking help, and I'm not eliminating medicine as a solution either.

But what about "normal" negative emotions, even when they're intense?  Do these emotions all arise from mental illness: anger, hate, frustration, bitterness, jealousy, disappointment, anguish?  If not, then where do they come from, and what purpose do they serve? Are they ever constructive or useful?

What about these emotions: love, peace, happiness, contentment, joy?  Are these normal, or are they caused by a faulty chemical imbalance?  If we believe that a normal range of emotions is not caused by mental illness, but are the product of a correctly functioning mind, then are they beneficial or can they be distracting at best, and destructive at worst?  Put another way, do they usually help us to be productive or cause us to act foolishly and then make mistakes in our decisions (even the good emotions, when in excess)?

Now, if they seem "normal", but by and large they cause us to not think clearly and act logically, then can they be caused by evolution?  Why or how?  The desire to mate/procreate certainly seems logical for promoting and continuing the human species, but why emotions?

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Here is the point to asking all of these questions - I believe that the presence of emotions and the wide range in which they are exhibited helps to demonstrate the presence of a "soul" in humans.

Now, if we as humans have a soul, then that could very well mean that there is a dimension of life that is spiritual in nature, but we cannot see.  Not only do I believe such a realm exists, but I think most if not all of us have been made innately aware that there is at least one being who is present in it, who is responsible for providing these positive emotions - God.

If we can easily look at our positive emotions and credit them as being generated by a God who most people can easily understand and believe to be good, then where do the negative emotions come from?

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Here is the main point:  So many people have no problem whatsoever agreeing with the concept of God, and even "guardian angels".  If you can fathom the existence of a soul though, and we can agree that a spiritual dimension to life exists, and there is a positive aspect to it (God) - then why must we discount any and all evidence of evil around us as "mental illness", instead of at least considering the possibility that an instigator of evil could possibly exist?

And finally, if any or all of this makes sense, and you're willing to consider that there is a negative spiritual influence that could be causing the negative emotions that we not only see around us, but also feel in our own heart and mind to some extent (hate, anger, jealousy, bitterness, etc), then I would encourage you to read and consider what the Bible has to say about them. This could be a good start (see link).

Probation and Parkour (Dreaming)

I had an odd dream last night (12/4/2012):

I was riding as a passenger in a metallic green Chevy Impala with 20 - 22" rims (similar to the picture above).  The driver engaged the hydraulic suspension so that the front of the car was as high as possible, while the rear was as low as it could go.  The angle of our seats now made it difficult or impossible to see the road, except he had another windshield under our feet that allowed us to look through the floor at the road ahead of us.

For some reason we got pulled over (the driver had guns or drugs or something) and then arrested.  Since the reason we were arrested was primarily the driver's fault, I was only on probation, but also on constant watch by a probation officer whenever I left my house.

The gentleman who was watching me was an older guy (like me I guess), but you could tell he was tough as nails.  I told him I was going to get some exercise, to which he approved (since he thought he would have no problem keeping up).  After running for a bit and ending up in a stadium of some sort, I started to perform a bunch of parkour maneuvers, leaping over and under and around things.  Needless to say, the other chap couldn't hang with me and I had a few moments of freedom from my probation babysitter.

Then I woke up.

I should add that I've never tried parkour (although I would love to), and that I really have no idea how probation works or if there is any variety where you are actually watched by someone like that.  It was just a weird dream.

Huh, Her Husband Looks Kinda Old

The title of this post is what I was thinking when I recently looked at a girl's Facebook pictures from high school.  Her picture popped up in the "People You May Know" section.  I didn't really know her, so I didn't care to request her as a "friend", but I'm generally curious about where and what everyone from high school is up to these days.  So I briefly browsed through her pictures.  And that is what led me to the subject title.

But that isn't the real reason for this blog post.  Oh no.

You see, after I had that thought, for some reason I had to analyze why I would think that about him.  He looked fairly slim and/or in decent shape (not fat).  He had a full head of hair too.  But there's a little bit of grey, and just a few telltale wrinkles.  Nothing major, but just enough.

And it's the next thought that entered my mind that led me to this post.  That guy in the pictures, her husband, he looks like ME.

I'M that old!

A little bit of grey, a few wrinkles.  DAMN!

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As an update, I showed the pictures to Amanda and she thought he looks older than me.  Because his hairstyle is more conservative and he's dressed in a tie.  I don't know though, she might just be biased.

"You Wanna Get Outa Here?"

I just got back from meeting my brother and his friend Troy at a nearby bar (The Post Time Lounge).  You know the character that's played by Ryan Gosling in the movie Crazy Stupid Love?  Well, my brother is Jacob Palmer in real life, only more manly.  No joke, it's almost amazing to watch really.

Do Not "Like"

I am amazed at how lazy I am becoming in regards to commenting on people's blogs (when I even take the time to read them).  I want them to know I have read them and appreciate their post (as I want people to do to mine also), but I'm often not sure what to say - "very insightful"?  "great post"?  "I totally agree"?  These seem generic, pointless, and unnecessary when I can usually just click "like" on Facebook. I can't believe that I've become so lazy though.

I know the general trend in electronic communication is to keep it short and sweet, due to the prevalence of Facebook and texting, and as an engineer I approve of the efficiency and effectiveness.  But I really hate to see the unfortunate (although expected and understandable) side affect of modern communication methods become the degradation of extensive and thoughtful expression, especially in myself.

Pre-Inverview Sleep Disorder and Dumb Quotes

I really sleep like crap the night before an interview.  Since I had one today (at Grass Valley), I tossed and turned all of last night, probably getting a total of 2-4 hours of sleep at best.  The same thing happened on the night before my interview at Intel (last Friday).

I'm happy to say though that I survived the 6 hours of quizzing/drilling/questioning by 11 different people (usually 2 at a time) today with my sanity and dignity (mostly) in tact. We'll see if it leads to a job later in the week, when the hiring manager gets back from vacation.

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Here are two of the stupidest quotes I've heard in a while:

"... because what are you without your stuff? 
Or better yet, without your stuff who are you?" 

It's from this advertisement for Norton, which Tyler Durden (from Fight Club) would punch right in its face.


Then there's this one, from a kid's movie that I only saw a few snippets from, but hated every one of them:

"...the story about a boy, who became a man, by becoming a bear."

Oh, of course.  That makes perfect sense.  If you appreciate dumb, reincarnation promoting, lame plot movies, with Phil Collins singing crappy theme music throughout it, that is.  This one happens to be called "Brother Bear".

My First World Problems (sob, sob)

A couple of months ago I read a post on The Chive titled 20 First World Problems.  It was a list of MEMEs (pictures with funny captions) showing people with sorrowful expressions and words over them that described a miniscule problem in our spoiled culture.  I thought it was silly and fun at the time, but now I find myself being totally encouraged by it!

Lately when I have encountered something frustrating or angering, as soon as I start uttering a curse word under my breath or start to get angry, I involuntarily say the phrase "First World Problem" to myself.  I can almost picture the text describing my situation overlaid on a picture of me with a crybaby face.  This has really helped me to put the situation in perspective and then just get over it much more quickly.

New Couch Decor Too!

Emily threw up again today (Thursday). It happened right before I got home from work. This time it was all over the couch and living room though. Since Clara was still at the dinner table and the barf was quickly soaking into the cushions, I dropped my wallet and keys on the counter and got to work cleaning them up. Another day, another stinky puke mess to clean. Sigh.