Once in a Career Opportunity

Ok, so it's not as momentous as it sounds, but my company is now implementing new badges for all of its employees. Along with these badges are new pictures too. So, who cares?

Well, if you look at the badges of employees who have been there for 5, 10, 15, 20+ years, in every case you will see a picture of them that was taken on their first day of employment. Even through previous badge transitions, the same original picture was used. It's usually humorous to see them too, way back in the day of a full head of hair, a mustache, or with 75 lbs less weight on their frame.

Because of that, it seems likely that this opportunity will only present itself just one time in the entire time that I work there. So the question that I am trying to answer is this - what do I want that picture to look like? The one I currently have is mostly normal - I had a goatee, a standard short length haircut, and a smile. I'm mostly photogenic (except for last year's family pictures), so it looks decent.

Current picture.

But a couple of fellow co-workers gave me the idea of making this new one silly and memorable. I already did it with my drivers license picture (a crooked semi-smile and one eyebrow raised), so why not now?

One argument is that since others will have access to this picture on the work online directory then they could see the picture and get a crummy first impression of me before I even start on a new project. But that's pretty unlikely, and I would think meeting the real me would erase any damage a silly picture would do.

Any ideas for poses, hair dos, etc? One requirement is that we are not allowed to smile.

Gentlemen Bandits

I was working on my car late last Thursday night with the intention of driving it to work on Friday morning. I ended up staying up until 2:30am to get it road worthy. But road worthy it is once again.

At about midnight though, I heard some strange scraping noises coming from the open door to the side yard. I thought maybe it was my neighbors, but why would they be awake and outside that late though, especially since they're elderly? I stepped out to looked, but didn't see anything so I went back to work.

A few minutes later the scraping sounds were actually on the wall of our house -what the heck?! I stepped out of the door to see several shadowy shapes moving along our fence. It was dark and hard to see, but I could just barely tell that they were multiple raccoons.

They stayed there just long enough to pose for this picture, then scurried away.

A Bowl of Rice is Twice as Nice

Last Saturday morning I was working in the side yard, when I realized the garbage can reeked pretty bad and there were a few flies buzzing around it too. I decided to move it to the curb, even though the garbage pick-up wasn't until Monday morning.

Finding a few flies making their way into the garage, I thought that maybe I should put the kitchen bag(s) into a big black yard bag to further seal up whatever was causing the stink. So I reached in and picked up the kitchen bag that was on top, but as I lifted it up the bottom dropped out of it, causing a cascade of maggots like a waterfall.

After reflexively and disgustedly dropping it back in and closing the lid, I noticed several of the despicable little critters making their way out of a hole at the bottom of the can, which you can see in the pictures below.

I thought about getting a picture of inside the can, but the thought of accidentally dropping the camera in there was nauseating enough that I'm pretty sure I would have just left it in there. Also, these pictures were taken after slaughtering as many escapees as I could by spraying them with bleach as they crawled away.


I walked into the kitchen to ask Amanda who she killed and why their cadaver is in our trash can. She explained that she had dumped three chicken carcasses into the kitchen can. While I was at first annoyed with her, after thinking about it I was pretty sure I had done the same thing numerous times myself. Like she said - we've never had a problem before.

I guess my mom had the right idea. She used to always wrap chicken carcasses in a separate plastic bag before putting it in the kitchen garbage, whereas Amanda and I have always just dumped it straight into the kitchen garbage.

Well, to avoid a plague of flies in our cul-de-sac, I then proceeded to wage war against the little rice worms. First I filled a spray bottle with bleach and emptied it into the can, along with dumping about a quart straight into it. The next morning I doused them with an entire can of Raid. I also sprayed them with bleach as they spread out in a semi-circle on the floor around the can.

I guess I eventually won the battle, since I staved off the swarm until the pick-up on Monday morning. But now my eye has a weird twitch.

A "Pet" Peeve

It annoys the crap out of me when people talk about their pets like they are human babies.

If you don't have kids then believe me when I tell you that taking care of your dumb dogs (yes, I like dogs, but let me rant would you) or cats are not even remotely like taking care of a child.

If you DO have kids though then you should know better.

What the Devil?

On Facebook recently, I posted a link to an article that will probably rock most people's psyche. Along with that post, I said the following:

"The purpose of this link (below) is not to ruin anybody's day, but to demonstrate one of the many reasons that I believe something that probably 75% or more of the world doesn't, even many (most) people who call themselves "Christians" - the belief in evil and actual beings (the devil, demons, etc) who advocate and instigate it."

Woman decapitates baby, cannibalizes brain

Later that day, the question still lingered - why do so many people find it easy to accept God as a plausible reality, yet refuse to accept the possibility of the existence of his nemesis and/or his forces. So, in making conversation, I posed this question to my carpool associate, Bill. And I really liked his answer. It was this:

"If you believe in the devil, that means you also have to believe that there is a hell. And if you believe in hell, that means someone has to go there."

Simple. Elegant. Logical. I like it. Thanks Bill!

Unexpected Expressions of Affection...

... are the most beautiful kind, I think.

By that I mean when you see old people still holding hands and being affectionate with one another. Or a big, tough looking dude doting on his daughter, or carrying a doll as a present for her.

Come to think of it, it's not very often that couples who have been married for a while are still openly affectionate either. Maybe it's because of their arms being full of kids and/or kid accessories. I think that's usually the case for us anyway, at least when we're out and about.

Happy Freakin' Birthday

I celebrated my 38th birthday last week (whoop-de-do). I was out of town for work reasons, so not only did I not get a cake, candles, presents, or party on my birthday, but the only people who cared enough to give me any gift at all were my in-laws. A sincere thank you goes out to mom and dad Crocker.

Yeah, I guess I'll admit that I might be a little bitter maybe. But I honestly think after turning 25 (or maybe 30), the importance of celebrating your birthday every year transitions to being every 5 years instead. Years 1 through 30 were a big deal, but after that only 35 really is, then 40, etc.

What's funny though (or maybe not) is that my grandma sent my wife some money for her birthday last month, but all I got is a blank card - I mean, come on!

I did get a lot of well-wishes from Facebook friends though - so thanks to you all.