Learning to Stick Up for Himself

An ongoing concern that I've had with Lucas is in regards to sticking up for himself. He reminds me very much of myself when I was little - a heart of gold that wouldn't hurt a flea. That's generally a good thing, except for one little problem - not everyone else is like that. In fact most? little boys are just the opposite.

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic by saying this, but the world as a whole (as well as little boys) likes to play rough and tries to push you around. Well Lucas' normal reaction (as was mine) to a challenge or rough playing is to be scared, shy away and/or cry.

A recent example is when a visiting little boy tossed our big red exercise ball at Lucas, which he said hit him on the head. While it's a big ball, it's also rubber and filled with air. So while I didn't actually see it happen, I don't think it actually hurt him. He cried though for a while, probably out of fear and intimidation of the other boy.

Well, I've tried only once or twice since then to teach Lucas to stand up for himself and for his sister by making a mad face and saying forcefully "YOU LEAVE ME (OR MY SISTER) ALONE!" Then I also tried to teach him to give them a push if that doesn't work. We then practiced this a little bit, but certainly not enough for me to be convinced that it had sunk in or been absorbed into his behavior at all.

Then a friend of Amanda's came over with her kids on Friday. Her son is a few months younger than Lucas, but about the same size as him. They were both in our plastic backyard playhouse when I heard Lucas say very loudly "DON'T HIT ME ON THE HEAD! I DON'T LIKE THAT!". Then there was a brief pause, followed by "SAY O.K. LUCAS!" Then the other little boy obediently complied and said "O.K. Lucas."

Wow! I don't think I could have handled it better myself. He stuck up for himself, didn't have to resort to violence, and even got the other kid to acknowledge his request. I was surprised and proud of him, and later that evening I made sure to let him know it.

One Way Conversations

In this morning's 6 a.m. men's group, we were discussing prayer. We looked at several verses, including Matthew 6:5-15.

One of the questions was about Matthew 6:7, which says this:

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.

The person who was leading asked what we thought babbling meant in this verse.

After thinking about it for a minute, here was my input:

When I think of the word babbling, I think of my grandmother. I love her and I try to call her once in a while because I want to maintain my relationship with her. But conversations with her are usually not very enjoyable to me, because she talks a lot but is a horrible listener. It's not uncommon for her to ask me a question, but then start talking again before I've had a chance to finish my answer.

I think perhaps this verse is talking about us praying to God like that, which admittedly I am guilty of. A lot of talking and not enough listening, or even no listening at all. And while God still loves us and wants to talk to us, I think He would probably prefer us give Him the time and the listening ear to at least try to hear his answer.

Cranking This!

My current favorite songs:

• Travis Barker remix of Crank That (Soulja boy)
  For an awesome video of his drumming, check out the link below:
  http://www.craveonline.com/videos/music/00007651/travis_barker_on_drums.html
  
  
• Foo Fighters - The Pretender
  

Honorable Mention go to

• Chris Brown - Kiss Kiss
  
  
• Santana (feat. Chad Kroeger) - Into the Night

Pictures that Persuade Poorly

I was browsing the "Housing Wanted" ads on Craigslist, looking for an ad to really stand out as a potential match for us as a roommate, when I came across two ads that made me crack up. They're linked below:

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/sha/625112208.html

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/sha/624439153.html

What are these guys trying to do - intimidate any prospective roommates? Or maybe seduce them? Because they sure don't look like anyone I would want to talk to, hang out with, or heaven forbid live with. Learn how to smile guys.

Then there's this one that's "420 friendly" (smokes pot) and absolutely cannot speak/type proper English, despite the fact that he looks completely white American.
http://sacramento.craigslist.org/sha/621837061.html

I'm not trying to be mean or make fun of people. I just found them a bit amusing and am noticing that a good roommate is hard to find.

Unintentional Entertainment

Emily's vocabulary is still pretty limited, but for some reason last night at dinner she was saying "hi boy" (with boy pronounced more like "buoy"). So Lucas imitated her, then I responded to her next time by saying "hi girl".

Soon, we were all going around the table saying this to each other, when someone (I think it was Lucas) suggested that we all do it at the same time. "One, two, three - HI, BOY!" at the top of our lungs. Then "One, two, three - HI, GIRL!". Emily was laughing. Lucas was laughing. We all were having silly fun.

Next thing you know, adjectives are being inserted. Pretty girl. Then poopy boy. Then "One, two, three - PRETTY POOPY!" as loud as we can. Eruption of laughter from all. Eventually though, we had to settle down and start getting the kids ready for bedtime.

Later that evening, I was locking up the house and turning off the lights before bed when I realized the temperature was unusually cool downstairs. Lo and behold the front window had been left opened (by me, I might add) since the morning.

My stomach dropped a bit and I shook my head and sighed. We had inadvertently been entertaining our whole neighborhood for dinner.

Naturally, I'm a Skeptic

While I was in Florida, my mom tried her best to get me to drink Apple Cider Vinegar, along with a half-dozen other natural cures and preventative herbal remedies.

She has been promoting this cause for a long time now. Usually I just remind her of my skepticism, even if I don't really have a good reason for it. In the end, I usually end up saying "Uh-huh. Ok. Sure." to placate her, although I never actually try any of the numerous cockamamie concoctions that she recommends.

This last time though, after she persuaded me to read a chapter of a book that she was trying to use to convince me, I was finally able to pinpoint why I am so skeptical, and also what it would take to overcome my innate pessimism.

In the book, as in most of what I have read about natural and herbal remedies, there were plenty of explanations given for why oak root should be used to bolster the health of your skin, liver, pancreas, etc. Or how snake oil prevents cancer, cures aids, and gives you a larger erection. But none of the reasons in that book, none of them referenced an actual study or used any conclusive data. They were all vague and unspecific.

Examples of statements are "It has been shown that..." or "Many European countries use this for...". Another popular theme seemed to be the usage of various herbs by American Indians. There were even statements bragging that particular remedies were used decades or even centuries ago, as if that is a good thing. Weren't leeches used as a remedy back then too? Oh, and how we should all long for the days of medicine before antibiotics, penicillin, anesthetics, and all of that newfangled poppycock.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely against seeking alternative medicine, and I don't entirely discount the argument that the pharmaceutical companies are trying to peddle their chemicals and make more profit by convincing people that they need them. But at least prescription drugs have to go through the FDA first, and I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that there are plenty of doctors and scientists who have already either confirmed or criticized their claims of curing.

All I'm saying is this: Everyone is trying to make a buck and sell their products, which includes natural remedies. To convince me that something is worth paying for and risking my health by ingesting it, show me some conclusive proof. A properly performed scientific study (with a control group, a convincing number of subjects, placebos, randomization, etc) would be a good start. If it was performed by a reputable school or organization, then that would be even better.

I don't think that's unreasonable to expect, especially considering it's not only my hard earned dollars that are at risk, but also my health.

Emily's Encouragement

Emily is definitely more spunky/aggressive than Lucas, swinging her arms wildly at things that make her mad, squinting her face up, pushing back at Lucas when he tries to take things from her, etc. But she is also more cuddly than him, and she is definitely daddy's girl.

Last night I got to put Emily to sleep, which for both of our kids includes the following (after brushing teeth and putting on pajamas): Reading a book, saying a prayer, giving a kiss, then singing a song as we make our exit out of their room.

When I held her on the way to her room, she did something interesting. She leaned back and moved her hand over my chest, then moved her other hand over my upper arm/shoulder. Then she lay her head on my shoulder for me to go through the usual bedtime ritual.

This left me feeling a little awkward, a little flattered, and above all wondering what she is thinking. Is she just noticing a difference between me and her mommy (harder muscles, different shape, etc)? I remember when I was little being in awe of my dad's muscles (he used to flex his arms so that my sister and I would be hanging from each one). So is she similarly noticing my muscles?

I'm not really sure what's going through her little mind, but I do know how it makes me feel though. It reminds me that I am her big, strong daddy and it inspires me to do my best to stay that way. It emphasizes the fact that she relies on me for her protection, and will do so until she gets married and hopefully has a big, strong husband to take my place.

Now if only I can cut back my work hours and get my butt back to the gym once in a while.