Employment Entitlements

This is from a response I made to a friend's brother on Facebook, but I thought it might be worth saving, so I copied it here (with minor changes).
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Here is the problem with today's employment and income expectations for people like those striking at Wal-Mart or at Hostess (who caused the company to close their business). Somehow it has been determined in their mind that any company that chooses to hire them should be required to pay every single one of its employees sufficient income to provide for a family. Oh, and the working conditions must be on their own terms, not the employers.

But since the beginning of time, people have had to work to get to the point where they can provide for their family. They have either had to learn a skill or a trade (such as a blacksmith, or a woodworker), get an education (a scribe or an architect), or perform manual labor (a farmer or a general laborer). Another option would be that they pursue a career that has high risk, such as a sheriff, soldier, knight, etc. Or, they can take a different kind of risk by starting their own business, in which case they have to invest a lot of money and often sacrifice most of their life (excessively long work days) for many months or years to make their business aspirations come to fruition. It has been this way for generations upon generations, probably as long as organized civilizations (cities, towns, etc) existed.

But now, all of a sudden, people are seeking employment anywhere they can find it without bothering to pursue anything that would make them employable or desirable in the free market exchange.  Then, once in that job (one that any high schooler or even a drop out can perform), they complain about their employer, their income, their benefits, and anything else they can think of to whine about. And they insist that they should be able to make a living in this occupation, that they should be able to "support their families".

If you are in a position that requires none of the previously mentioned qualifications though (trade skill, education, labor, bravado/risk, or financial risk/sacrifice), then you have no business requesting ANYTHING from your employer, except perhaps receiving the agreed upon wages when you were hired and safety from harm. Your only focus should be to (a) work hard, and (b) be thankful for the job you have while or until you can pursue something that makes you valuable enough to be more competitive in the free market economy that we live in.

A Deeper Level of Thankfulness?

Over the years, I’ve mostly gotten used to not having the nicest stuff, or even having a lot of flexibility in our budget to afford spending much money on new “things”. Being unemployed for six months certainly didn’t help, and now although I have a good job with decent pay, we’re still trying to get caught up from the unemployment time, our relocation expenses, our recent trip to Florida for my brother’s 30^th birthday, and on and on.

This morning though, the Cincinnati Enquirer has “5 pounds worth of savings for Black Friday” in it. So I looked in the Target ad, and instantly wanted the 50” 1080p TV for $350, and the 61-key keyboard for $70, and to get the Canon Rebel camera package for Amanda (including memory card and telephoto lens) for $500. Man, what deals! And I started to see how people get so caught up that they wait in lines overnight or longer to conquer these savings and get this new stuff!

I have no doubt that the perspective of our financial status is based on our culture (what we see on TV, in the ads, etc), and on those around us (our neighbors, friends, co-workers, etc). So it’s difficult if not impossible to think that we ever have “enough”, or to not want more, because we see all of the things around us that we don’t have.

The perspective of our gratitude though, is dependent of our heart, and of our relationship to God.  I’m currently reading a book (that Amanda has already read), called “One Thousand Gifts”. In it, the author talks about the original text that is written to describe Jesus “giving thanks” at the last supper in Luke 22:19, which is eucharisteo. Jesus knew He was going to be tortured, crucified, and (even worse?) separated from God, yet still He was able to be grateful for what He had at that very moment.  Numerous other verses are cited too, where Jesus thanks God after or during difficult times. Then too, when Jesus healed the 10 lepers in Luke 17 and only one came back to thank Him, Jesus replied “Stand up and go, your faith has saved you” (the most literal translation).

They were all physically healed, but the one who was thankful was saved. Of course, this doesn't mean that thankfulness is the source of salvation. But our ability to focus on God is very largely dependent on turning our attention and our desires away from our culture and/or our friends. Then we can be thankful for all of the things that we have, instead of looking longingly at that which we do not.

And you might want to put down those ads.  They'll get you every time!  

Exercise vs. Entertainment

I recently went to Florida to be with my family for my brother's 30th birthday and also my oldest daughter's 6th birthday. After eating one helping of pizza (3 slices) at my daughter's birthday party, I complained to my brother in-law about wanting to go back for more, but choosing to be sensible/disciplined instead.  We both reminisced about "back in the day" when we could eat as much pizza as we wanted to, without any regret or negative repercussions.

I then commented that maybe if we were as consumed by exercising and body building as a friend of ours is (who is also close to our age), then we wouldn't have to be as concerned with restricting our consumption.  Daniel then said something about us having to sacrifice so many other important aspects of our lives (like family, dedication to God, etc).

A few minutes later he was telling me about several TV shows that he and my sister have been enjoying.  The Walking Dead was one of them (that I am now hooked on too).  But as we were talking about this, I connected our previous conversation to this one, and thought about us feeling like it's impossible to dedicate ourselves to exercise, primarily because it seemed like it would require so much sacrifice.  And now here we were talking about spending what sounded like at least an hour per night watching various TV shows.

I know, I know - we all want to just "relax" after a long day of work, or kids, or school, or whatever.  And we already have to get up too early for all of these things as well.  And it's so hard to wake up and exercise when you're tired, and/or it's cold out, and/or we stayed up too late (watching TV or surfing the web).  But with all of these (sometimes valid) excuses, I keep coming back to the idea that we really just can't resist feeding our addiction to entertainment.  It's a habit that we can't break any more than a long time smoker can stop sucking his own life away through the end of a paper roll.

What it really comes down to for most of us, with the exception of a very small percentage of people, is that the incentive to exercise is just not significant enough to get us up off of the couch or out of our desk chairs.  We just aren't motivated enough to sacrifice our entertainment.

Some Nights, Some Days

I know I lead a blessed life and most of my problems are "first world problems", but there are some moments when I get really annoyed that I can't escape my responsibilities.

NIGHTS:
Last night, for example.  It was Friday night, and a much needed payday too.  What I really wanted to do was celebrate - go out with Amanda to grab a beer at a sports bar with some friends.  Hang out, socialize - just relax and enjoy life a bit.  But instead we went to Panda Express for dinner to go, and we introduced the kids to "Willow" (they only finished the first half before it was bedtime).  And that was fine and fun.  Then the kids went to bed, and Amanda and I went downstairs to mess around on the computers (Amanda is addicted to 365project, and I like enjoy browsing through the cleaner posts on The Chive), followed by us watching an episode of "The Walking Dead".  Then we went to bed.

I know, I know.  We could have gotten up and done something different.  It's not like we didn't have any choices in the matter of what we could do at home.  But there are some nights when I just don't feel like doing anything here at home, in the same, normal place. Especially when it's just so easy to default to our routine.

I also miss spending time with friends.  I love being with my wife more than anyone else in the world, but sometimes I really want to be with other people too.  Also, I seriously enjoy my family here (Mom and Dad C., Katie and Jimmy, etc), even more than I thought I would before we moved here.  But sometimes I want to be with peers - people of my age group, in similar circumstances (kids, etc), and maybe even of the same faith as us.  Don't get me wrong - I don't want any less time with our family here, I would just like to have some time with friends too.

This is the trade off of moving to Ohio though I guess, at least for now.

DAYS:
Then, this morning when I woke up to hearing the kids walking around upstairs at 6:20am, I thought about how I get up to my alarm every morning at 6:20 - 6:30am, and today I just want to sleep in a bit, damnit!  I got out of bed and let Amanda get ready for the gym (we would both go later if the kids weren't sick), then took care of getting the kids' a snack, pouring their drinks, fixing the girls' hair, and helping Lucas use an inhaler because he keeps coughing.  But oh how I would love to just sit down and ponder what to do with my day.  Or for Amanda and I to share a quiet cup of coffee together and figure out what we can do together, without having to deal with our little people, who happen to be BIG responsibilities.  Then there's the dog too.  Ugh.

Again, I know these are first world problems.  I'm sure that I sound like a whiny little brat to God, who gave me so many wonderful choices and blessings, including a job that I enjoy, a fantastic and beautiful wife, and my children who are truly freakin' awesome and incredible.  But there are just some days when I would like a little bit less responsibility, and to be able to enjoy the freedom associated with it.

Fun Sunday, Grace by Distraction

Last weekend we went to Clifton Mill, Clifton Gorge, and Young's Dairy Farm (for a pumpkin fair) with Amanda's family.  The scenery was breathtaking at both Clifton locations (check out the pictures from my phone), and it was great to be outside and walking around in the cool air.  

The Dairy Farm was fun too.  We had a tasty lunch at the restaurant there.  Lucas and I navigated through a corn maze (picture below).  The girls got to ride in a little airplane ride that was pulled by a tractor.  We also ate some ice cream and picked a pumpkin from the patch too.  

Because we knew we would be gone for the whole day, we utilized a coupon for a free day of boarding at PetSmart for our dog, Hope.  The only drawback to boarding her though was that we had to make sure we arrived back at PetSmart before they closed for the day.  

Well, we were in the middle of eating our ice cream when Amanda realized that it was 5pm, and we were approximately an hour drive away from PetSmart, which closed at 6pm.  So we loaded up in the minivan and raced against the clock to get there on time.  

Well, maybe "racing" wasn't the best idea, I realized as the blue and red lights flashed behind me.  How fast, you ask?  76 in a 55.  Yep, >20mph over.  Truth be told, I really didn't realize I was going that fast.  The happy ending to this story though, is that after collecting my license and returning to his car, he immediately and briskly walked back, handed me my license, and informed me that he's letting me off with a warning.  Then he briskly walked back to his car and sped off after someone else.  

I don't know if they were in the hundreds of mph range, or if it was just Amanda's prayer just before pulling over.  But whatever the reason, grace was given that day, and we gladly accepted it.

And we actually made it to PetSmart in time.  Right at 6pm.  On the nose.

Better Than WWJD?

WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) has been a popular acronym among Christians since the 1990s, and for good reason.  It's a catchy way to remind yourself to make decisions that model what you think Jesus' choice would be.  And if you're a Christian (aka follower of Christ), then this should be a daily, if ever elusive, goal.

However, a few weeks back a phrase/verse in the Bible really struck me as completely pivotal to what we, as Christians, should strive for as our overall goal in life - the "big picture" so to speak.  It's Matthew 25:21: ²¹ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’.

While utilizing WWJD is useful in helping us make daily decisions, we should be pondering the bigger questions, actions, decisions, and plans with the goal of hearing those words "Well done good and faithful servant!" on the day of our passing from this world.

I'm not asking whether you will get to heaven or not.  If you've accepted the sacrifice of Jesus and have repented from your sins then the answer is yes.  But when you get to heaven, and God looks at your life, what would you expect Him to say, based on how you lived it?  Will He maybe mumble and say "Fine, you made it.  Come on in" with little to no enthusiasm?  Or would He and a host of angels proclaim "Well Done Good and Faithful Servant!  You lived a life worth celebrating.  One that did much good in the world.  One that proclaimed, celebrated, praised, and spread my name to all who knew you.  You didn't just live as a person who calls him/herself a Christian when asked about it.  You lived in a way that all who knew you, and even many who didn't, knew what you represented - ME!  To sum it up, you made Me (God) proud.  Well done indeed."

I wish I could say with confidence that the latter would be true of me, but at this point in time I don't really think that would be the case.  But I want to have this idea at the forefront of my mind on a daily basis, to pursue things, actions, decisions, relationships that would lead to this eventual proclamation when I die.

In the spirit (and popularity) of WWJD, perhaps it would also be a good idea to come up with an acronym to make it more catchy and memorable.  The best choices I can come up with are these:

• WDGaFS 
• WeDoGaFaSe (probably too long)
• WeDGaFS
• Wedgafs

Which one do you think is the best?  Any other suggestions?

Also, what would your answer be to that question, if you were to ask yourself "Is the way I'm living, the choices I'm making, the way I'm spending my time, the way I interact with others, the way I stand up for my faith, the passion in which I pursue my God, are these things done in a way such that I would expect to hear that phrase (WELL DONE...!)?"  Any feedback is welcome.

Book Review: "50 Shades of Grey" by E.L. James

My wife and I had heard so damned much about this book. It's been all over the news, on Facebook, and talked about amongst Amanda's friends too (even fellow church goers). So both of us were at least a little curious to read it. It was only ~$10 for the soft cover, so Amanda decided to give it a shot. She liked it pretty well, so I decided to climb into a woman's mind and learn a little more about how their most prominent sexual organ (their brain, or so I'm told anyway) works.

 The biggest problem that I had with it is that I found myself comparing our current sex life to that of the characters in the book. But the circumstances of our life aren't anywhere close to theirs. Limited financial resources aside, when we were dating we may have equaled (or even surpassed?) their passion, and even perhaps when we were first married. But once you enter kids into the equation, sex gets pushed way down on the priority ladder. Factor in work responsibilities, financial struggles, time and location limitations (especially due to kids), general life stress, maintaining your material possessions, getting stuck in "parenting" mode, and any number of other difficulties, and all of a sudden romance and sex takes a lot more effort. It's still great and fun and wonderful when it happens, but our emotional and physical circumstances can't even come close to the story that I'm letting myself become engrossed in.

 Maybe that's part of the allure with books like this though, letting your mind wander to alternate scenarios apart from your own reality.  I can certainly appreciate that, as I enjoy that aspect about any book/story I read.  So why not one that includes graphic sex scenes too?  The best that could come out of it will be that it helps inspire me to work harder to make intimate "moments" happen in my own real-life marriage.  The worst that could result is that Amanda and I will find ourselves increasingly frustrated with our own situation and get discouraged instead of inspired.

Well, the jury is still out regarding its affect on our marriage, but I admit that I did enjoy reading it, and I didn't find any obvious annoyances with the story itself or the writing style, like I'd heard about in some critiques of it.  I thought Mrs. James did a good job of creating a believable female main character, and I appreciated her (the character's) introspection and ability to analyze the relationship, her partner, and also his "unique" requests/desires. 

I don't think this book is for everyone, but I personally enjoyed it and so did my wife.  Now if only Ms. James would write another sequel that includes the challenges associated with marriage and family life.  When taking young kids and a puppy into consideration, perhaps it could be called Fifty Shades of Brown and Yellow. :-)