Does it Really Seem Like 11 Years?

Today is Amanda and my 11 year wedding anniversary.  It doesn't seem anywhere near as big or exciting as last year's.  In fact, now that we passed the big 1-0, I'm guessing only every 5 year increment will really seem like a big deal.  Still though, every year is definitely worthy of some celebration.

We bought (somewhat) expensive tickets to a play for tonight, and we'll go out to a decent dinner before that too.  So we're not being completely cheap about it, but we didn't get each other much in the way of gifts this year.  I did try to surprise Amanda with one gift though - getting our wedding videos (VHS and a smaller tape (8mm?)) converted to DVD.  Unfortunately, Lucas blew the surprise part of the gift earlier in the week (I'll be sure to go alone for any attempted surprises next time).  It was fun for us to watch the videos this morning though, even if the kids were completely bored after 5 minutes of it.

My mother-in-law asked me this question on Facebook today

"It doesn't seem like 11 years, does it?"

which is actually what inspired this blog post to begin with.  So to answer her:

One one hand, 11 years sounds much longer than it feels.  This is due to me loving and enjoying being with Amanda even more than the first day of our marriage.  We haven't changed all that much in our appearances either.  I weigh maybe 5 pounds more than our wedding day (I have to eat significantly less than I used to though).  I have all of my hair, even if there is a growing amount of salt mixed in the pepper now.  Amanda is still petite and sexy also.  She keeps herself in shape and ages really well.  So I would answer "no" to that question when thinking of these aspects of the passed years.

On the other hand though, the events that we watched on the video seem like another whole lifetime ago.  Look at those fresh young faces in the video!  They don't have any idea what it will be like to be parents yet..  They are living in an entirely different corner of the country, with no idea of where they're going yet. We point out Aunt Katie and Uncle Steve to our kids, but they look so much younger than they do now too.  I point out my dad whenever he steps into the camera's view, because he died before any of our kids were born.  We see Amanda's grandma in the video too, who just recently passed away..

So it seems like Amanda and I have been through so much together over these last 11 years, and our lives are so different now than what they were on our wedding day.  And there are people who we care about who are no longer with us now too.  So yes, it seems like at least 11 years.

As far as our marriage goes though, it feels like it's been at least 11 wonderful years together.

Best. Birthday. Eva. - Part 2

After our 2-day, 1-night getaway to Nevada City, Amanda and I planned to pick up our kids from the Walker's house (our good friends who were watching them for us).  We stopped at our house first though to drop off the car and check to see if they might be there.  When we walked in the door, we did indeed find our kids there, playing in the backyard.  But with them was someone else, a big surprise for me - MY MOM FROM FLORIDA!  I was a bit stunned at first, what I was seeing took a few seconds to register in my brain (mom, lives in Florida, but yet here, huh? how?).  It was funny and weird how it just didn't compute for a little bit. 

She had put the surprise together and made it happen in two days time.  My brother was a big part of the answer to her prayers (donated frequent flyer miles) for her to be able to come out here.  It was great to see her!

The next day (Sunday), she and I planned a date to get some coffee together at Origin Coffee & Tea, which is a non-profit coffee house that fights against sex trafficking.  It was great to have the quality time together.  I was expecting to have the Walkers over for dinner when I arrived home, but when I walked in the door I found many more familiar faces in front of me.  "SURPRISE!!"  It was the first surprise party that I had ever been the victim, er I mean recipient of :-).  We had pizza, we had conversation, we ate cake.  A good time with great friends!  And a fantastic way to add icing on the cake of what was my best birthday ever.

10 years ago, I had a fun weekend celebration for my 30th birthday.  Unfortunately though, we lost the film from it and so I have no proof or physical media to remember it with.  This way more than surpassed it though.

Now I want to, no I HAVE to give a few thanks.  First to God for giving me so many blessings (health, job, family, and so many great people in my life).  To my brother Steve for helping my mom make it out here to visit.  To my best friend Brian and his family for watching the kids, Saran wrapping my car, picking my mom up from the airport, and keeping the party under wraps.  And to all of the great friends that attended the party.

But first and foremost, above and beyond, I can't believe how awesome Amanda is for pulling this all off.  Not only is it amazing that she thought to do it and put forth the effort, but that is was so successful and such a blessing to me.  Thanks babe, I appreciate it and I love you.

Son's Honesty = Dad's Humility (and possible motivation)

Lucas asked Amanda this question the other day:

"Mom, why do some guys have bumps on their arms and stomach?"

He was referring to their muscles of course.  When Amanda relayed this to me I tried flexing to show that I had these "bumps", but it was no use.  I used to have them, damnit!  So now I am motivated to start trying to get these "bumps" back.

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Then, today in the car Lucas asked me "Dad, are you the boss of anyone?"  Now, I am currently in various leadership positions at church and in Toastmasters, and in the past I have held leadership positions in almost any club or organization that I have participated in over the years (including the HOA in our Florida neighborhood).  But after thinking for a minute, I realized that I have never actually been the boss of anyone at a professional job (post-college). 

Is this normal, acceptable, humiliating?  Is it due to my profession (there are plenty of engineers who are more experienced and capable than me who still aren't in charge of anyone)?  Whatever the cause, should I care?  And if so then what can I do to change it?

Best. Birthday. Eva. - Part 1

I turned 40 this year.  Feeling middle age seems more like a reason to mourn than to celebrate, so I didn't mind too much that I ended up going in to work on my actual birthday (a Thursday).  When I went out to my car to leave though, I found it covered in saran wrap, courtesy of my best friend Brian.

In honor of my birthday, Amanda was "sweet" enough to make a chocolate version of my sister' rum cake recipe for me.  It was moist, rummy, and oh so yummy.

That night (Thursday), we hired a babysitter (a neighbor from across the street) so we could go out to dinner together at Lucilles Barbeque. We followed it up with a nice walk along a trail, then we rented and started watching The Next Three Days at home. 

Amanda also had the idea for us to get out of town for the Friday night after my birthday.  So we solicited the assistance of our good friends the Walkers to watch our kids for the night, then we commenced to planning our escape.  We had a really difficult time deciding where we wanted to go though.  The requirements were a) I didn't want to drive for more than an hour, b) I wanted to be outdoors a decent amount (hopefully hiking), c) Amanda had been hiking a lot on her recent getaway to North Carolina, so she didn't want it to be only outdoors, and finally d) we didn't have a lot of money to burn, so it couldn't be too expensive either.  We finally decided on staying in Nevada City, at a place called The Outside Inn.  What a perfect decision it was too.

Relaxing out front.

Front of the hotel.

 To begin with, the hotel itself was great.  It had numerous landscaped locations around the building to relax, and the themed rooms were fun.  We took a decently long hike on a trail that was within walking distance from the hotel.  Along it we found a small brook with a pool in the middle of some rocks.  We went down to check it out and jump in for a quick swim too!

In Nevada City

Amanda in front of stream/pool

The city itself (a very small town really) was bustling with people walking around and enjoying all that it had to offer.  We enjoyed dining, shopping, a farmer's market, and just walking around.

We met and talked to numerous friendly people, and for such a short mini-vacation we just felt fully relaxed and immersed in it.

What Adventure?

In my men's group from church, a couple of the guys were talking about their experiences either in the military or in law enforcement.

Then, at work, I had the opportunity to attend a lunch-and-learn where one of the employees discussed my company's efforts to prepare a bid for developing and executing another trip to the moon, and eventually to Mars.  During this talk, he also highlighted his personal experiences, such as flying in a Mig-25 into the upper atmosphere (space?), meeting and working alongside Buzz Aldrin and other famous people.

I can't help thinking "what the heck have I done that is exciting?".  Where is my adventure?  What stories do I have to tell?

Mr. Mom, part II.

The second weekend after Amanda got back from Ohio, she turned right around again and headed to North Carolina.  She has been planning a college roommate reunion for quite some time, and had long since purchased the tickets for it.  So I was alone with the kids again for a long (4 day) weekend.  Here is the daily log:

Day 1:  Brought Amanda to the airport at 4:30am.  The kids actually went back to sleep when we got home, and even slept in!  Great start to the day (a bit more sleep).  For breakfast I made blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes (1/2 of each).  We all loved it!  Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were lunch.  Then for dinner I bought Save Mart chicken fingers and wings, along with broccoli salad, ambrosia salad, and hawaiian sweet rolls.  They scarfed that down too.  Not a very exciting day really, but it wasn't bad either, especially since all of the meals were successfully enjoyed by all.

Day 2:  Had the men's group over (only 2 guys this week), then had Amanda's left over french toast casserole for breakfast (the kids didn't like it so much, but I loved it).  Then we attempted to go to Wacky Tacky, but they were only letting parties in (birthdays or whatever).  The kids and me were pretty disappointed, especially since they were looking forward to it all morning. 

So we changed gears and decided to go to Whitney Park instead, which has the biggest play gym equipment that I have ever seen.  I noticed a Buick T-Type in the parking lot when we pulled in, and as we were parking, I noticed a gentlemen walking toward it with his son.  So I went over and asked if I could show the car to Lucas, since it's almost exactly like the vehicle that we're building the model of (a Grand National). He was happy to show it off.  After playing at the park for a while, we brought our cache of left-over tokens (from Clara's birthday) to Chuck-E-Cheese, and ate lunch there too. 

After nap was in the books, we went to get hair cuts (Lucas, Clara and me), followed up by renting Rango from RedBox and watching half of it while eating our smoothie dinner (with crackers, cheese, and bologna).  Then I gave the kids a bath and got them to bed at (gulp) 9:30pm.

Day 3:  We finished watching Rango this morning, then had a hodgepodge breakfast of cereal, eggs, english muffins, and strawberries.  We then headed over to the Effie Yeaw Nature Center from 11:00 - 2:00.  The kids enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a long hike for them.  We came home famished and had hot dogs with sauerkraut, beans, dried snap peas, and chips for lunch.  Unfortunately, Clara caught a short (15 - 20 minute) nap on the drive back, which caused her to not be able to nap at home, which sucked for me and made her a bit cranky the rest of the day. 

When everyone else was awake from their nap, we transferred all of the old sandbox sand into the basketball hoop, then washed out the sand box.  When it's dry tomorrow then we can add the new sand.  The girls were playing in the little pools while Lucas and I added one layer of paint onto his GN model.  Clara had taken off her diaper though and ended up pooping on the floor of the backyard.  We ended the day with Panda Express for dinner (Lucas' idea), then a scoop of ice cream at home for dessert.  I probably should have given them a bath, but hated to get them to bed later (was already just after 9pm) and had just given them one yesterday.

Day 4: Brought the kids to Wacky Tacky in the morning.  I think I got us there sometime between 10:30 and 11:00.  I brought my laptop and set up a table to try to get work stuff done while they played.  I had to take breaks though to a) make sure they were alright, b) give them snacks and water (I remembered to bring both), c) take care of Clara when she got hurt a couple of times and d) play with them a bit too, especially in the spongy ball pit.  We stayed until between 1:00 - 1:30.  I think we had PBandJ again for lunch, along with some other healthy sides like cheese, yogurt, canned peaches, and cherries.

After nap, it was time to get to business.  First we hit Big5 sporting goods to pick up a regulation frisbee (175grams) and 8 cones to possibly play Ultimate Frisbee with the high school kids tomorrow (Tuesday) night.  Then we deposited a couple of checks and stopped at Boston Market for dinner.  Before giving them an evening bath, we dumped two bags of new sand into the sandbox.  After bath it was time to start cleaning the house so it will look good for Amanda when she gets home.  Clean up went smoother this time, especially since there was more time to get it done. 

I got the kids to bed around 9pm, just before Tammy came over to hang out while I went to pick up Amanda from the airport.  As before, her plane arrived early so I had to pick her up at the ramp instead of meeting her as she came down the escalator like I would prefer.

Summary:  As a whole, I think this weekend with the kids went smoother than the last one.  I took the kids to do one fun thing per day, and I made a concerted effort not to raise my voice or lose my temper as much.

Mr. Mom for (almost) Five Days

Amanda's last remaining grandparent, Grandma Eggert, passed away on Tuesday night, 6/28 (or 6/29, depending on the time).  So Amanda caught a last minute flight to Ohio to be with her family while I watched the kids here at home.  She was gone for 4.5 days total.  Ideally, the kids will view their time with dad as somewhat fun at the least, and unforgettably great at best.  However, since I found that I myself was forgetting what we did only one or two days out, I decided to make a record of it.  So here is what we did:

Day 1:  Dropped off Amanda to airport, cinnamon/Raisin bread French toast for breakfast, Carl's Jr. picnic at Royer Park, swim class (got there in the nick of time).

Day 2:  Donuts for breakfast, went to Home Depot for a few things, played in the front yard and brought Eliot (our bearded dragon) outside for some fresh air too.  I also added more sand to his enclosure while he was out (we've been meaning to for months now).

Day 3:  Men's group from church came over in the morning, we had cereal for breakfast, smoothies for lunch (Lucas helped make it), then watched Karate Kid (the new one) in the evening with Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner.

Day 4:  Bagels for breakfast, was not able to make it to (either) church on time, found a new park (Westwood Park), brought Taco Bell to Royer Park for lunch.

Day 5: Was thinking that Amanda's flight arrived at 7pm, but at about 9am I realized that it was actually due to arrive at 11.  I really wanted her to come home to a clean house, so it was panic time.  Unfortunately, the last thing the kids ended up experiencing (although hopefully not remembering) was dad cracking the whip for the kids to help clean everything up. 

I had hoped to get to the airport with enough time to be waiting for her as she came down the escalator into the baggage pick-up area, but her flight ended up arriving early.  So we picked her up at the arrival ramp instead.

Special time with kids:  Worked on a puzzle with Emily,  Started a plastic scale model (of a Grand National) with Lucas, reading to Clara.

Chores completed:  Several loads of laundry,  several piles of dishes, shredded a pile of documents,
replaced light bulbs (hey, it counts).

Summary:  I enjoyed being Mr. Mom for the weekend, but the most difficult aspects of it were a) getting everyone ready to go anywhere, especially in the morning.  b) fitting in the planning and making of meals c) fitting chores of any kind into the mix while still taking care of the kids (especially Clara, who is more demanding at this age).