Book Review: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

I borrowed this audio book from the library when I was driving to and from Sunnyvale on a weekly basis (for a contract job).  I remember hearing some of the actual lecture at some point and really liking what I heard, so I thought I would enjoy hearing the whole thing, along with additional commentary from the author.  And I was right.

Amanda and I have since started watching the actual lecture, and there was a lot of additional information about Randy and his life in the book that was not in the original presentation (at Carnegie Mellon) - more background, details, history, stories, lessons learned, etc.  He seemed like a remarkable individual, who lived a much fuller life in many regards than most people do with a much longer lifespan.  And whenever people of a high caliber share their stories and/or advice, it's almost always a blessing, and this was no exception.

My only complaint is that he hardly talked about anything faith related.  He only mentions that he has dealt with it personally with/through the church he attends.  Well, that's good to know, but if you're on the brink of death, and are able to influence such a large number of people through the stories of your life, then why would you not accompany it with at least a nudge or a hint of spiritual encouragement too?  No matter what faith he was (or wasn't), his decision in this matter is now going to have eternal rewards or consequences, and I'm surprised that knowing this so intimately didn't encourage him to talk about it.

Finished reading on 3/22/2012

Aqua Emasculation

"Sure, why not.  It will probably be fun."  I said when Amanda asked if I wanted to join her and her mom in a "Water Circuit" class at our gym (LifeTime Fitness).  I'd taken several other fitness classes there (Sculpting Yoga, Spinning, Barbell Strength, etc), all of which I had enjoyed, and I like trying new things, especially regarding exercise.

The class was held in approximately 1/3 of the gym's very large pool, the rest of which was used by families playing in the water with their kids.  And this entire pool is housed in a gigantic enclosed area.  This area also includes a separate (and busy) lap pool with athletes conquering laps, and is adjacent to two hot tubs, a sauna (with a big window to the pool), and high windows all around, so people riding stationary bikes on the upper floor of the gym could look down onto the pool area.  The picture of the pool below is at a different LifeTime Fitness, but ours is very similar.

I knew ahead of time what the concept was, I knew where the location was, and I pretty much knew what I was getting into.  Also, I am quite secure in my manhood, am not easily embarrassed, and as I mentioned in the beginning, I had valid reasons for doing this.  Yet, even with all of these encouraging factors, as the class started, I began to quickly realize what I bad idea this really was.  Not only was I the sole male participant, but I was also the 2nd youngest participant in the group, with my wife being the youngest.  To make matters even worse, the moves that we were performing were, let's just say less than masculine.

Not long into it, I debated whether to inconspicuously duck out into one of the adjacent lap lanes, but then another (significantly older) man joined us as well, and I thought to myself "Damnit, I started this stupid class, so I might as well finish it!  At least I'm not the only male now.  Besides, experiences that encourage humility are good for you, right?"  The more I participated though, the further it progressed from humbling to downright humiliating.  And yes, we used the silly looking floating barbells that are in the above picture.

The only saving graces for the experience are (a) Since we just moved here, we hardly know anyone in this area outside of family, (b) I got to spend some time with two people that I love - my wife and mother-in-law, and (c) If performed with enough vigor, I admit that the class did provide a decent workout too.

Prophetic Daughter?

I was having a bad moment as a dad yesterday evening.  Amanda was at her sister's bachelorette party, and I was flying solo.  I was watching "The Smurfs" movie with the kids, and there was a scene where Neil Patrick Harris' character observes a young couple with their toddler son walking between them, after which the dad picks him up and kisses him.  His character then realizes how despite life's frustrations he is content with the anticipation of being a father (or something like that).

As for me, I had gotten frustrated with my own kids during dinner, especially with Emily and Clara for taking so long to eat their soup.  I'm sure there were other things too, such as annoying noises, repeated jokes (for the 100th time), and who knows what else.  Now, watching this scene unfold on the couch (after we finally finished our dinner), I was thinking about how all I do is nag my kids and get annoyed with them.  I am a no-fun, killjoy of a dad.  I suck.

Just then, Emily came over to me and gave me a great big hug, and Clara followed her big sister to do the same.  As both of them were bear hugging me Emily said "Your daughters sure do love you", after which I relied "and I sure do love my daughters."

She moved back to look at me and said "Dad, I know you get frustrated with us sometimes, but God is still proud of you."  Then they went back to watching the movie like nothing happened, and I sat there with my mouth on the floor.  Only God knew how much I needed to hear that just then.  So thank you God, and also thanks to my daughter Emily too.

A Legal Perspective on Prop 8?

In a previous blog post, I mentioned how I thought our attitudes, as Christians, should be oriented regarding the issue of gay marriage - through the perspective of the Bible.

The more I discussed this with other people though, and the more I thought about it, the more I began thinking that there is ground to stand on not only from a moral/Biblical perspective, but also from a legal perspective.  And here's why:

The biggest defense in favor of  eliminating Proposition 8 is based on the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment, which states that

"no state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

But how, exactly, are homosexuals currently denied equal protection?  They have the exact same right as you and me - to marry someone of the same gender.  The laws of marriage as it is currently defined are not being applied differently to them because of their sexual orientation.  Instead, what they are really trying to change is not who the law applies to (or doesn't apply to), but how the law defines marriage.

So the issue is not whether they are being denied the same rights as others, but of wanting new rights to be added that pertain specifically to them.  So what gay people want is really equality based not on gender, or on race, but based on their sexual preferences.

I had to think for a while to come up with any similar moral/legal dilemmas that could parallel that of gay marriage.  Some that came to mind are prostitution, marrying within family (siblings, cousins, parents, etc).  But I think the best example to use is polygamy.  Because not only is it a moral uncertainty, but it would also require an effort to redefine marriage to suit a minority of people.  Even if all parties that wish to participate are adults and are in complete agreement, for some reason we choose to keep it illegal.  Is it only because advocates of this "lifestyle" aren't vocal enough, or because there aren't a large enough quantity of them to provide the political pressure?  Or because long-term menage-a-trois aren't ingrained enough in our culture to be considered "normal" yet?

Valentine's Day Success

Well, after much effort and agony (in preparation), Valentine's Day was pretty successful.  Here are some highlights:

• Amanda still had flowers that were in tact from the last time that I gave them to her, so I was able to forego getting new ones.  
• I gave her a gift in the morning (it was somewhat practical, but only at her request).  
• Wrote a small love note to her in the early afternoon.
• I arranged for two stages of babysitting for the evening...
• ...so we could go on a surprise date to Sherman Clay, where they were holding a concert called "Sweethearts and Steinway" in their recital room.  They had wine and dessert for us to consume, and a jazz trio consisting of pianist Jim Martinez, a drummer, a standing bass, and a vocalist for some of the songs (which I guess made it a quartet for those tunes).
• Before our date I gave her a (long and thoughtful) card.
• I made reservations at Mas (a kinda-upscale Mexican restaurant), for us to have dinner after the concert.
• Then I had one more small gift for her at the end of the evening.

We probably spent a bit more money than we should have, but this occasion comes only once a year, and I think the celebration/promotion of romance is worth it.  While the day had its ups and downs (as is always the case when taking care of the kids), we thoroughly enjoyed our evening together.  Of course, any date spent with Amanda is a good one though.

A Christian Perspective on Prop 8

Today a federal appeals court decided that the Prop8 vote to ban gay marriage is unconstitutional (see the USA Today article here).

First, let me say that I can understand both sides of the argument regarding the constitutionality of gay marriage.  And because I can see both opinions on the matter, I don't really know the clear answer regarding whether it should or shouldn't be allowed, from a purely legal perspective.

I'm not surprised to see many people happy about this decision either (on Facebook, etc).  Gay marriage is essentially allowing two adults make the ultimate expression of their dedication and love for one another.  It's an expansion of individual liberty and freedoms as well.  So why shouldn't the secular world cheer for that - yay for love and happily ever after.

What does surprise me though, is to see people who are Christians happy about it.  I'm not saying that all Christians should be angry about it, or should even feel the need to rally against homosexual marriage.  But why would you be happy about further legitimizing and promoting in our society something that is not only a sin, but an "abomination", according to the Bible?  I'm not talking about whether we should appreciate gays as individual people, or whether to be friends with them, etc.  I totally think that we should, and when the opportunity has arisen, I personally have.  I have had gay friends, I have happily worked aside gay co-workers, and I have no issues with even fellow church goers whom are gay.  In fact, one of my roommates in college was gay.  I have no problem with them as people, and I love and enjoy each of them for who they are and what their personalities have to offer.  And if they themselves are not Christians, than why would they not pursue the desires of their heart and/or their sexuality?

However, that still doesn't change my belief that their actions and lifestyle are sinful and wrong.  This is because I believe in the Bible.  And I tend to think that any other person who believes and adheres to the Bible should agree with me on this.  Because from a Biblical perspective, there is no uncertainty about it being wrong.

Whether or not it is ingrained, accepted, or even promoted in our culture should not affect our opinion of what we personally think about the action.  Pornography, objectification, and pre-marital sex are all just as readily, if not even more so promoted and accepted as "normal" in our society.  But as Christians, we are supposed to morally rise about our surroundings and our culture.  I'm not saying this because I think Christians are better or holier than others, but because our moral compass should not be defined by, nor should it even be heavily influenced by our society.  Ideally, it should only be guided by and defined by what the Bible says.

But how much should Christians be influencing our laws, based on our Bible-based moral beliefs?  We certainly don't want to pursue our own version of Sharia law.  The answer to this may certainly vary on an individual basis, and I don't think we should be pursuing further modification of the laws to enact new legal restrictions on people (against porn, for example).  But I don't think it's overstepping our bounds to resist further immoral freedoms either, such as prostitution and homosexual marriage.  And if we are to set an example to others regarding what we stand for, then it definitely seems like a bad idea to actively and/or publicly promote, encourage, or advocate advancement of what we should believe (again, based on the Bible) are immoral agendas.

As an American, and a Libertarian, I can appreciate and even applaud people gaining freedom to make their own individual decisions.  But above both of those belief systems, above everything else that could possibly shape and influence my opinions, I am a follower of Christ, and a believer in the Bible as the set of standards to live by.  So for this reason, I am disappointed in today's outcome.

Huh, Her Husband Looks Kinda Old

The title of this post is what I was thinking when I recently looked at a girl's Facebook pictures from high school.  Her picture popped up in the "People You May Know" section.  I didn't really know her, so I didn't care to request her as a "friend", but I'm generally curious about where and what everyone from high school is up to these days.  So I briefly browsed through her pictures.  And that is what led me to the subject title.

But that isn't the real reason for this blog post.  Oh no.

You see, after I had that thought, for some reason I had to analyze why I would think that about him.  He looked fairly slim and/or in decent shape (not fat).  He had a full head of hair too.  But there's a little bit of grey, and just a few telltale wrinkles.  Nothing major, but just enough.

And it's the next thought that entered my mind that led me to this post.  That guy in the pictures, her husband, he looks like ME.

I'M that old!

A little bit of grey, a few wrinkles.  DAMN!

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As an update, I showed the pictures to Amanda and she thought he looks older than me.  Because his hairstyle is more conservative and he's dressed in a tie.  I don't know though, she might just be biased.