Mostly Mikeable

Huh, Her Husband Looks Kinda Old

2012-01-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

The title of this post is what I was thinking when I recently looked at a girl's Facebook pictures from high school. Her picture popped up in the "People You May Know" section. I didn't really know her, so I didn't care to request her as a "friend", but I'm generally curious about where and what everyone from high school is up to these days. So I briefly browsed through her pictures. And that is what led me to the subject title.

But that isn't the real reason for this blog post. Oh no.

You see, after I had that thought, for some reason I had to analyze why I would think that about him. He looked fairly slim and/or in decent shape (not fat). He had a full head of hair too. But there's a little bit of grey, and just a few telltale wrinkles. Nothing major, but just enough.

And it's the next thought that entered my mind that led me to this post. That guy in the pictures, her husband, he looks like ME.

I'M that old!

A little bit of grey, a few wrinkles. DAMN!

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As an update, I showed the pictures to Amanda and she thought he looks older than me. Because his hairstyle is more conservative and he's dressed in a tie. I don't know though, she might just be biased.

Flagstar Bank = Anger and Frustration

2011-12-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

Right now I am shaking with the adrenaline associated with wanting to punch someone in the face. I just got off of the phone with Catherine, a Flagstar representative, and I honestly cannot recall the last time that I felt this angry. No, I don't want to inflict violence upon Catherine, although she was the least caring and sympathetic person that I've talked to at their company (and I've talked to quite a few over there in the last several months). I just want to punch Flagstar in the face, if only it had one to punch.

Since losing my job in September, I have attempted to apply for forbearance with my mortgage company, (any guesses who they are?). Yes, I know they will be doing me a big favor by granting me this. Because of that, I also think that it should not necessarily be an easy process, as the the purpose of this option is to help me avoid foreclosure. So I don't mind if they want to make me work for it, at least in the sense of proving that it's needed and providing them with the documentation that they need to thoroughly review my situation. I get that. It makes total sense to me and I'm comfortable with spending the time and making the necessary effort on my end. And finally, I think they should only grant forbearance after applicants follow their procedure, and meet their guidelines.

So if that all makes sense to me, and I sound pretty rational and understanding about the whole thing, then why am I so angry?

Because I have been attempting to complete the application process for over three months now, since September 12th. I have cumulatively and literally (yes, I know what this word means) spent days on this effort. I have gathered documents, compiled financial data, composed letters, and printed, copied, and faxed more than 150 pages to them.

I've learned enough from previous mistakes in my life to keep track of details in projects such as this, so at the very beginning of my effort I generated and have been consistently adding to what is now a 7 page Word document. This document lists every date that I've worked on this process, along with almost every document that I've faxed to them on these dates (some are listed elsewhere), every phone call I've made (time, date, person I spoke with), and every suggestion/request that I've been given from their representatives.

Yet I have not successfully traversed their obstacles, despite having attempted to do so three times so far. Why?

There is no publicly available list of documents that must be submitted to them for this process.
Each representative that I have spoken to has a different understanding of which documents they need to receive. I have been told "all you still need is .... for it to be opened", but then still had it closed.
There is no publicly available information informing applicants how to fill out these documents. I have had different representatives give me different information about this, specifically for the Profit and Loss statement and for the 4506-T form.
They don't always receive the faxes that I send in and/or they do not process them in a manner that is timely enough to avoid closing the file.
There is no one to complain to, as the representatives refuse to transfer you to a manager, or even another representative that you had previously spoken with. They refuse to even give you information on how to file a complaint. All they will do is input your complaint into their system, where I feel confident it will be completely ignored.

So now I have been told to submit a new application package. In short, to start all over again for what will be the fourth time. But why should I believe that submitting another package of documents for opening my case of forbearance will have any different result than before, after being denied three times already? Keep in mind that I have been denied this not because I don't meet their circumstantial requirements, but because I have been trying to hit a moving target in the form of being consistently (although I do not necessarily believe it was intentionally) misled about what documentation is required of me and how to fill out that required documentation.

I now have a decision to make - to give up the process and let the chips fall where they may, or to spend (waste?) the time required to generate and gather the list of documents that I have most recently been informed about. If I attempt to accomplish this yet again, the odds are highly in favor of another frustrating disappointment.

Despite the unlikelihood of success though, I will proceed with another attempt. Because I am only in control of what choices I make. And whatever happens with our mortgage and our living conditions (in the event of foreclosure), I can still take some solace in knowing that at least I did my best. Whether I am able to avoid that worst case scenario though, still remains to be seen.

No Good Deed Goes Un-pooped On

2011-12-04T13:14:00.001-08:00

It has been beautiful outside lately, so I joined Amanda and the kids for a walk the other day. While we were in the back end of our neighborhood though, we noticed a little terrier-type dog with a green sweater walking down the middle of the road. There didn't seem to be anyone else nearby who was paying any attention to it, and I figured if the owner was around, then he/she probably would have been trying to prevent the pooch from playing chicken with the traffic.

As it neared us, I got down on my haunches and motioned it over, which it surprisingly did! It's tag indicated the name of "Bailey", and we recognized the address on the other side of the tag as being in our neighborhood. So I scooped it up and we proceeded to hunt down the owner and return Bailey to his family.

The dog seemed comfortable and happy enough with me holding him, but unfortunately I was getting a little uncomfortable with his stinky smell wafting up into my nostrils. Then, about halfway to our destination, the smell began to get a whole lot worse. I shifted Bailey's weight higher up onto my arm, and observed brown smears on my hand. The dog had shit on me!!

Luckily it wasn't a large volume of poo, as it wasn't running down my arm and under the rolled up sleeves of my shirt or anything. But I forced myself to continue holding this crappy, stinky dog for another entire block.

When we finally arrived at our destination, the owner (a lady in her mid to upper 50s) was grateful. Before we departed though, I requested a wet paper towel or something to wipe the bulk of the excrement off of me, to which she happily obliged. I guess getting pooped on is a small price to pay to help make the world a little better place, especially for the holidays.

"You Wanna Get Outa Here?"

2011-11-25T20:48:00.001-08:00

I just got back from meeting my brother and his friend Troy at a nearby bar (The Post Time Lounge). You know the character that's played by Ryan Gosling in the movie Crazy Stupid Love? Well, my brother is Jacob Palmer in real life, only more manly. No joke, it's almost amazing to watch really.

Book Review - 90 Minutes in Heaven, by Don Piper

2011-11-23T21:44:00.001-08:00

I got this book as a 40th birthday present from Jeff S., a good friend of mine from church. I was already backlogged in the reading department (including Agape Leadership, below), so it took me a while to get to it. In the meantime though, Amanda tore through it pretty fast and really liked it. So I was even more excited to be able to finally get to it. And it did not disappoint me.

This book follows the true story of a pastor who gets in a horrific accident with a tractor-trailer, and subsequently dies. Through another man's obedience to pray for him (when stirred to do so) he ended up returning to life. The author takes great care to explain the details of his accident in order to provide as much credibility as possible to his claims of being clinically dead, and also his experience of heaven. The rest of the story follows him through his long and painful physical recovery from the accident, and the process of figuring out what to do with the experiences he encountered and in finding purpose behind them.

Admittedly, since I'm a Christian, I did not truly approach it skeptically. I already believe in Heaven, and the way Mr. Piper describes what he encountered does not conflict with what I have read in the Bible and/or what I believe. But as with other books (such as "This Present Darkness"), even though I already held these beliefs, reading about them in this manner gives me an entirely different perspective to them. Having a mental image of what it will be like to experience Heaven for myself changes the way I visualize the big picture of life and encourages me to make decisions that could have a positive affect for myself and others on that fateful (and joyful) day that I get to meet my maker.

Exercise Viagra Crack

2011-11-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

I need exercise like Hugh Heffner needs Viagra. Especially when life is frustrating, depressing, annoying, and/or difficult, which is pretty much every damned day. The endorphins that it provides lifts my spirits. The increased blood flow nourishes my brain. Even the skin on my face feels awake and alive. It helps me to think and yes, it also increases my libido (making the metaphor all the better).

I need exercise like a junkie needs a crack pipe. Without a regular dose of it (2-4 times/week?), I slowly slide toward melancholy at best, depression at worst. Until I eventually become like a spoiled drama queen with PMS.

I hate that this is the case though. And I hate the fact that although I know that this is the case, I still don't make doing it as much of a priority as I should. And I also hate the fact that I rely too much on Amanda to work out with me. But if she isn't able to, or if our schedules don't sync up (together, with the kids' nap times, etc), then I partially blame her for my frustration and the encroaching bad mood. This then only compounds the negative effects though, because now I'm not just in a pissy mood, but I'm emotionally taking it out on her (if even only to a small extent). This then adds friction to our relationship, which puts both of us in a worse mood.

So what is the solution? The only one that I can think of is to set a designated time (4:30pm seems to work well while I'm unemployed), make it a priority, and just do it whether Amanda can join me or not.

And I'm not talking about an hour or two of a high intensity, gut busting, sweat pouring workout (although those are especially nice). I'm just talking about at least 15-30 minutes of getting my heart rate up and my body moving. Taking this little daily dose will improve my productivity level, my mood, our marriage, and pretty much every aspect of my life.

Loving the Learning Overload

2011-10-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

Found my old C++ book today (Teach Yourself in 21 Days), and am finally going to sit down to learn it. Day 1 is done so far ("Hello World!").

The foreseeable problem with this is going to be with making sure that I also spend time with the following:

Reacquainting myself to Verilog (I've used VHDL almost exclusively for the last 7 years).
Learning Altera's Quartus II tools.
Using C for programming my (just for fun) robot project, as well as designing a power supply for it.
Using BASIC for my school robot arm project (an evening Mechatronics class at Sierra College).

Oh yeah, all that and looking for a job too. Ugh.

Unemployment Update

2011-10-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Well, the job searchis still in progress. I’m still getting numerous solicitations forcontract positions around the country, but Amanda and I have decided that we’renot quire desperate enough to separate our family for the duration that itwould require (2-6 months), and most of them are not lengthy enough to want torelocate for either (max is typically 12 months).

Aside fromthose, I’m also getting solicitations for full-time positions in parts of thecountry that I have no desire to live, such as the Detroit, MI area, Tucson, AZ, the Los Angeles. area, etc. Again, we’re notquite financially desperate enough yet to want to move somewhere that we don’t think we'll enjoy livingin.

I am realizing that there are manyimprovements I need to make in my daily routine though, including:

Bemore dedicated to searching around and spending less time responding tosolicitations.
Createa schedule and stick closer to it (I originally had planned to do this, but didnot follow through).
Setaside more time to work on professional development projects (relearning “C”,relearning Verilog, designing a PCB, etc). This is challenging not onlyin the prioritization of time, but also in deciding which task to spend time on.

In addition tothe job search and professional development, time also needs to be spent inrequesting forbearance for our mortgage (a ridiculously lengthy process),and looking at health insurance options.

Do Not "Like"

2011-10-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at how lazy I am becoming in regards to commenting on people's blogs (when I even take the time to read them). I want them to know I have read them and appreciate their post (as I want people to do to mine also), but I'm often not sure what to say - "very insightful"? "great post"? "I totally agree"? These seem generic, pointless, and unnecessary when I can usually just click "like" on Facebook. I can't believe that I've become so lazy though.

I know the general trend in electronic communication is to keep it short and sweet, due to the prevalence of Facebook and texting, and as an engineer I approve of the efficiency and effectiveness. But I really hate to see the unfortunate (although expected and understandable) side affect of modern communication methods become the degradation of extensive and thoughtful expression, especially in myself.

Pre-Inverview Sleep Disorder and Dumb Quotes

2011-10-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

I really sleep like crap the night before an interview. Since I had one today (at Grass Valley), I tossed and turned all of last night, probably getting a total of 2-4 hours of sleep at best. The same thing happened on the night before my interview at Intel (last Friday).

I'm happy to say though that I survived the 6 hours of quizzing/drilling/questioning by 11 different people (usually 2 at a time) today with my sanity and dignity (mostly) in tact. We'll see if it leads to a job later in the week, when the hiring manager gets back from vacation.

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Here are two of the stupidest quotes I've heard in a while:

"... because what are you without your stuff?
Or better yet, without your stuff who are you?"

It's from this advertisement for Norton, which Tyler Durden (from Fight Club) would punch right in its face.

Then there's this one, from a kid's movie that I only saw a few snippets from, but hated every one of them:

"...the story about a boy, who became a man, by becoming a bear."

Oh, of course. That makes perfect sense. If you appreciate dumb, reincarnation promoting, lame plot movies, with Phil Collins singing crappy theme music throughout it, that is. This one happens to be called "Brother Bear".

Why Are You Still Afraid?

2011-09-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

I took my daughters to a nearby park on Wednesday morning while Amanda was helping with Lucas' first grade class. It was Sept 14th, the week after I received my layoff notice.

One of the pieces of playground equipment that Clara decided to climb was like a spiral ladder, with one bar for each of the steps. Well, this was a little bit challenging and scary for a two year old, so I stood by her and offered my assistance and instruction ("now reach to this bar with your left hand. There you go..."). I also stood prepared to catch her, in case she lost her grip or balance.

She had made it all the way to the top step/bar, and all she had to do at that point was step over to the main portion of the equipment platform. She was fairly high off the ground though, so she was (justifiably) afraid. To help alleviate or at least minimize her fear, I reached over to her and held one of my hands flat on her chest and the other against her back. I was next to her, so I couldn't hold under her arms comfortably. My presence and touch wasn't sufficient to combat her hesitation though, so she refused to take that last big step to stability.

I was thinking to myself though "What on Earth are you afraid of, when you can feel both of my hands on you? Don't you know by now that I'm easily strong enough to hold you up, since I do it all of the time? And you should know by now that I would catch you before you fall, and that I would never let you get hurt, especially when I'm standing right here next to you. So why are you still afraid, child?"

Then I had the realization that God was telling me that that's how He feels about me. Why should I be afraid when I know God is way big and strong enough to hold me? I should stop being scared and trust His strength, even in potentially difficult situations (like being unemployed).

My First World Problems (sob, sob)

2011-09-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I read a post on The Chive titled 20 First World Problems. It was a list of MEMEs (pictures with funny captions) showing people with sorrowful expressions and words over them that described a miniscule problem in our spoiled culture. I thought it was silly and fun at the time, but now I find myself being totally encouraged by it!

Lately when I have encountered something frustrating or angering, as soon as I start uttering a curse word under my breath or start to get angry, I involuntarily say the phrase "First World Problem" to myself. I can almost picture the text describing my situation overlaid on a picture of me with a crybaby face. This has really helped me to put the situation in perspective and then just get over it much more quickly.

They Took Our Jobs!

2011-09-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

For those of you that don't get it, I'm referring to a South Park Episode.

But I'm not here today to talk about South Park. Last Friday (9-9-2011) I was given my two weeks layoff notice from Northrop Grumman. Work has been slow (virtually nonexistent) for a while though, so to be honest, the only surprise for me was that this day didn't come sooner. It still sucks though, and now I'm one week into looking for new work and trying to enjoy the extra time that I have now at home (pretty successfully I might add).

I have been getting plenty of encouragement from my friends, family, and acquaintances though. Additional encouragement was even offered by a amazingly timed Dilbert cartoon on Sunday:

Mostly though, I am trusting God in this. While not negating the necessity of my own efforts (I don't expect to sit back on my butt and expect God to have someone call me up and get a new job for me), I know that God is able to handle problems much bigger than mine.

On the flip side though, I know several other families from church who have gone for a couple or years (or more) without finding work. These are people who I consider to be God fearing, Christ following Christians too, who I totally respect for their faith. So why should things be any different for me then?

Really, I don't know the answer to that. In all honesty though, even if we do end up losing our house through foreclosure, would it really be that big of a deal? Our payments are way too high and we're completely upside down in the loan-to-value of it anyway. In fact, I would consider us to be plenty blessed as long as we have each other, our health, food to eat, and some kind of roof over our heads to protect us from the elements. I am truly thankful too, to live in a country that has many safeguards to protect against a scenario where I would find myself homeless or without food. These include unemployment, food stamps, and even welfare (if it came down to it).

These are all situations that would inspire and require a great deal of humility, to be sure. Hopefully it won't come to that though. I'm just thinking through all aspects of this and going down the worst case paths in my mind.

Does it Really Seem Like 11 Years?

2011-08-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

Today is Amanda and my 11 year wedding anniversary. It doesn't seem anywhere near as big or exciting as last year's. In fact, now that we passed the big 1-0, I'm guessing only every 5 year increment will really seem like a big deal. Still though, every year is definitely worthy of some celebration.

We bought (somewhat) expensive tickets to a play for tonight, and we'll go out to a decent dinner before that too. So we're not being completely cheap about it, but we didn't get each other much in the way of gifts this year. I did try to surprise Amanda with one gift though - getting our wedding videos (VHS and a smaller tape (8mm?)) converted to DVD. Unfortunately, Lucas blew the surprise part of the gift earlier in the week (I'll be sure to go alone for any attempted surprises next time). It was fun for us to watch the videos this morning though, even if the kids were completely bored after 5 minutes of it.

My mother-in-law asked me this question on Facebook today

"It doesn't seem like 11 years, does it?"

which is actually what inspired this blog post to begin with. So to answer her:

One one hand, 11 years sounds much longer than it feels. This is due to me loving and enjoying being with Amanda even more than the first day of our marriage. We haven't changed all that much in our appearances either. I weigh maybe 5 pounds more than our wedding day (I have to eat significantly less than I used to though). I have all of my hair, even if there is a growing amount of salt mixed in the pepper now. Amanda is still petite and sexy also. She keeps herself in shape and ages really well. So I would answer "no" to that question when thinking of these aspects of the passed years.

On the other hand though, the events that we watched on the video seem like another whole lifetime ago. Look at those fresh young faces in the video! They don't have any idea what it will be like to be parents yet.. They are living in an entirely different corner of the country, with no idea of where they're going yet. We point out Aunt Katie and Uncle Steve to our kids, but they look so much younger than they do now too. I point out my dad whenever he steps into the camera's view, because he died before any of our kids were born. We see Amanda's grandma in the video too, who just recently passed away..

So it seems like Amanda and I have been through so much together over these last 11 years, and our lives are so different now than what they were on our wedding day. And there are people who we care about who are no longer with us now too. So yes, it seems like at least 11 years.

As far as our marriage goes though, it feels like it's been at least 11 wonderful years together.

Best. Birthday. Eva. - Part 2

2011-08-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

After our 2-day, 1-night getaway to Nevada City, Amanda and I planned to pick up our kids from the Walker's house (our good friends who were watching them for us). We stopped at our house first though to drop off the car and check to see if they might be there. When we walked in the door, we did indeed find our kids there, playing in the backyard. But with them was someone else, a big surprise for me - MY MOM FROM FLORIDA! I was a bit stunned at first, what I was seeing took a few seconds to register in my brain (mom, lives in Florida, but yet here, huh? how?). It was funny and weird how it just didn't compute for a little bit.

She had put the surprise together and made it happen in two days time. My brother was a big part of the answer to her prayers (donated frequent flyer miles) for her to be able to come out here. It was great to see her!

The next day (Sunday), she and I planned a date to get some coffee together at Origin Coffee & Tea, which is a non-profit coffee house that fights against sex trafficking. It was great to have the quality time together. I was expecting to have the Walkers over for dinner when I arrived home, but when I walked in the door I found many more familiar faces in front of me. "SURPRISE!!" It was the first surprise party that I had ever been the victim, er I mean recipient of :-). We had pizza, we had conversation, we ate cake. A good time with great friends! And a fantastic way to add icing on the cake of what was my best birthday ever.

10 years ago, I had a fun weekend celebration for my 30th birthday. Unfortunately though, we lost the film from it and so I have no proof or physical media to remember it with. This way more than surpassed it though.

Now I want to, no I HAVE to give a few thanks. First to God for giving me so many blessings (health, job, family, and so many great people in my life). To my brother Steve for helping my mom make it out here to visit. To my best friend Brian and his family for watching the kids, Saran wrapping my car, picking my mom up from the airport, and keeping the party under wraps. And to all of the great friends that attended the party.

But first and foremost, above and beyond, I can't believe how awesome Amanda is for pulling this all off. Not only is it amazing that she thought to do it and put forth the effort, but that is was so successful and such a blessing to me. Thanks babe, I appreciate it and I love you.

Son's Honesty = Dad's Humility (and possible motivation)

2011-08-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

Lucas asked Amanda this question the other day:

"Mom, why do some guys have bumps on their arms and stomach?"

He was referring to their muscles of course. When Amanda relayed this to me I tried flexing to show that I had these "bumps", but it was no use. I used to have them, damnit! So now I am motivated to start trying to get these "bumps" back.

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Then, today in the car Lucas asked me "Dad, are you the boss of anyone?" Now, I am currently in various leadership positions at church and in Toastmasters, and in the past I have held leadership positions in almost any club or organization that I have participated in over the years (including the HOA in our Florida neighborhood). But after thinking for a minute, I realized that I have never actually been the boss of anyone at a professional job (post-college).

Is this normal, acceptable, humiliating? Is it due to my profession (there are plenty of engineers who are more experienced and capable than me who still aren't in charge of anyone)? Whatever the cause, should I care? And if so then what can I do to change it?

Best. Birthday. Eva. - Part 1

2011-08-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

I turned 40 this year. Feeling middle age seems more like a reason to mourn than to celebrate, so I didn't mind too much that I ended up going in to work on my actual birthday (a Thursday). When I went out to my car to leave though, I found it covered in saran wrap, courtesy of my best friend Brian.

In honor of my birthday, Amanda was "sweet" enough to make a chocolate version of my sister' rum cake recipe for me. It was moist, rummy, and oh so yummy.

That night (Thursday), we hired a babysitter (a neighbor from across the street) so we could go out to dinner together at Lucilles Barbeque. We followed it up with a nice walk along a trail, then we rented and started watching The Next Three Days at home.

Amanda also had the idea for us to get out of town for the Friday night after my birthday. So we solicited the assistance of our good friends the Walkers to watch our kids for the night, then we commenced to planning our escape. We had a really difficult time deciding where we wanted to go though. The requirements were a) I didn't want to drive for more than an hour, b) I wanted to be outdoors a decent amount (hopefully hiking), c) Amanda had been hiking a lot on her recent getaway to North Carolina, so she didn't want it to be only outdoors, and finally d) we didn't have a lot of money to burn, so it couldn't be too expensive either. We finally decided on staying in Nevada City, at a place called The Outside Inn. What a perfect decision it was too.

Relaxing out front.

Front of the hotel.

To begin with, the hotel itself was great. It had numerous landscaped locations around the building to relax, and the themed rooms were fun. We took a decently long hike on a trail that was within walking distance from the hotel. Along it we found a small brook with a pool in the middle of some rocks. We went down to check it out and jump in for a quick swim too!

In Nevada City

Amanda in front of stream/pool

The city itself (a very small town really) was bustling with people walking around and enjoying all that it had to offer. We enjoyed dining, shopping, a farmer's market, and just walking around.

We met and talked to numerous friendly people, and for such a short mini-vacation we just felt fully relaxed and immersed in it.

What Adventure?

2011-07-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

In my men's group from church, a couple of the guys were talking about their experiences either in the military or in law enforcement.

Then, at work, I had the opportunity to attend a lunch-and-learn where one of the employees discussed my company's efforts to prepare a bid for developing and executing another trip to the moon, and eventually to Mars. During this talk, he also highlighted his personal experiences, such as flying in a Mig-25 into the upper atmosphere (space?), meeting and working alongside Buzz Aldrin and other famous people.

I can't help thinking "what the heck have I done that is exciting?". Where is my adventure? What stories do I have to tell?

Mr. Mom, part II.

2011-07-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

The second weekend after Amanda got back from Ohio, she turned right around again and headed to North Carolina. She has been planning a college roommate reunion for quite some time, and had long since purchased the tickets for it. So I was alone with the kids again for a long (4 day) weekend. Here is the daily log:

Day 1: Brought Amanda to the airport at 4:30am. The kids actually went back to sleep when we got home, and even slept in! Great start to the day (a bit more sleep). For breakfast I made blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes (1/2 of each). We all loved it! Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were lunch. Then for dinner I bought Save Mart chicken fingers and wings, along with broccoli salad, ambrosia salad, and hawaiian sweet rolls. They scarfed that down too. Not a very exciting day really, but it wasn't bad either, especially since all of the meals were successfully enjoyed by all.

Day 2: Had the men's group over (only 2 guys this week), then had Amanda's left over french toast casserole for breakfast (the kids didn't like it so much, but I loved it). Then we attempted to go to Wacky Tacky, but they were only letting parties in (birthdays or whatever). The kids and me were pretty disappointed, especially since they were looking forward to it all morning.

So we changed gears and decided to go to Whitney Park instead, which has the biggest play gym equipment that I have ever seen. I noticed a Buick T-Type in the parking lot when we pulled in, and as we were parking, I noticed a gentlemen walking toward it with his son. So I went over and asked if I could show the car to Lucas, since it's almost exactly like the vehicle that we're building the model of (a Grand National). He was happy to show it off. After playing at the park for a while, we brought our cache of left-over tokens (from Clara's birthday) to Chuck-E-Cheese, and ate lunch there too.

After nap was in the books, we went to get hair cuts (Lucas, Clara and me), followed up by renting Rango from RedBox and watching half of it while eating our smoothie dinner (with crackers, cheese, and bologna). Then I gave the kids a bath and got them to bed at (gulp) 9:30pm.

Day 3: We finished watching Rango this morning, then had a hodgepodge breakfast of cereal, eggs, english muffins, and strawberries. We then headed over to the Effie Yeaw Nature Center from 11:00 - 2:00. The kids enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a long hike for them. We came home famished and had hot dogs with sauerkraut, beans, dried snap peas, and chips for lunch. Unfortunately, Clara caught a short (15 - 20 minute) nap on the drive back, which caused her to not be able to nap at home, which sucked for me and made her a bit cranky the rest of the day.

When everyone else was awake from their nap, we transferred all of the old sandbox sand into the basketball hoop, then washed out the sand box. When it's dry tomorrow then we can add the new sand. The girls were playing in the little pools while Lucas and I added one layer of paint onto his GN model. Clara had taken off her diaper though and ended up pooping on the floor of the backyard. We ended the day with Panda Express for dinner (Lucas' idea), then a scoop of ice cream at home for dessert. I probably should have given them a bath, but hated to get them to bed later (was already just after 9pm) and had just given them one yesterday.

Day 4: Brought the kids to Wacky Tacky in the morning. I think I got us there sometime between 10:30 and 11:00. I brought my laptop and set up a table to try to get work stuff done while they played. I had to take breaks though to a) make sure they were alright, b) give them snacks and water (I remembered to bring both), c) take care of Clara when she got hurt a couple of times and d) play with them a bit too, especially in the spongy ball pit. We stayed until between 1:00 - 1:30. I think we had PBandJ again for lunch, along with some other healthy sides like cheese, yogurt, canned peaches, and cherries.

After nap, it was time to get to business. First we hit Big5 sporting goods to pick up a regulation frisbee (175grams) and 8 cones to possibly play Ultimate Frisbee with the high school kids tomorrow (Tuesday) night. Then we deposited a couple of checks and stopped at Boston Market for dinner. Before giving them an evening bath, we dumped two bags of new sand into the sandbox. After bath it was time to start cleaning the house so it will look good for Amanda when she gets home. Clean up went smoother this time, especially since there was more time to get it done.

I got the kids to bed around 9pm, just before Tammy came over to hang out while I went to pick up Amanda from the airport. As before, her plane arrived early so I had to pick her up at the ramp instead of meeting her as she came down the escalator like I would prefer.

Summary: As a whole, I think this weekend with the kids went smoother than the last one. I took the kids to do one fun thing per day, and I made a concerted effort not to raise my voice or lose my temper as much.

Mr. Mom for (almost) Five Days

2011-07-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Amanda's last remaining grandparent, Grandma Eggert, passed away on Tuesday night, 6/28 (or 6/29, depending on the time). So Amanda caught a last minute flight to Ohio to be with her family while I watched the kids here at home. She was gone for 4.5 days total. Ideally, the kids will view their time with dad as somewhat fun at the least, and unforgettably great at best. However, since I found that I myself was forgetting what we did only one or two days out, I decided to make a record of it. So here is what we did:

Day 1: Dropped off Amanda to airport, cinnamon/Raisin bread French toast for breakfast, Carl's Jr. picnic at Royer Park, swim class (got there in the nick of time).

Day 2: Donuts for breakfast, went to Home Depot for a few things, played in the front yard and brought Eliot (our bearded dragon) outside for some fresh air too. I also added more sand to his enclosure while he was out (we've been meaning to for months now).

Day 3: Men's group from church came over in the morning, we had cereal for breakfast, smoothies for lunch (Lucas helped make it), then watched Karate Kid (the new one) in the evening with Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner.

Day 4: Bagels for breakfast, was not able to make it to (either) church on time, found a new park (Westwood Park), brought Taco Bell to Royer Park for lunch.

Day 5: Was thinking that Amanda's flight arrived at 7pm, but at about 9am I realized that it was actually due to arrive at 11. I really wanted her to come home to a clean house, so it was panic time. Unfortunately, the last thing the kids ended up experiencing (although hopefully not remembering) was dad cracking the whip for the kids to help clean everything up.

I had hoped to get to the airport with enough time to be waiting for her as she came down the escalator into the baggage pick-up area, but her flight ended up arriving early. So we picked her up at the arrival ramp instead.

Special time with kids: Worked on a puzzle with Emily, Started a plastic scale model (of a Grand National) with Lucas, reading to Clara.

Chores completed: Several loads of laundry, several piles of dishes, shredded a pile of documents,
replaced light bulbs (hey, it counts).

Summary: I enjoyed being Mr. Mom for the weekend, but the most difficult aspects of it were a) getting everyone ready to go anywhere, especially in the morning. b) fitting in the planning and making of meals c) fitting chores of any kind into the mix while still taking care of the kids (especially Clara, who is more demanding at this age).

The Minds of Men, Regarding Marriage

2011-05-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

On a recent work day morning, I overheard a couple of middle-aged men talking in the work cafeteria about a baseball player (Casey Daigle) whose career is struggling. After googling the player, the man learned that his wife is Jennie Fitch, an Olympic softball player. He then proceeded to describe her appearance (blonde, shapely, etc) and mentioned her inclusion in a SI swimsuit issue.

He then stated "No matter what he goes through with his job, it's hard to have any sympathy for him, because his life must be GOOD."

She could be a total ditz or a complete bitch, but this is the way men (generally) think - sex first. Now, we do also have a capacity for other things that contradict this attitude, such as logic and even love, but (unfortunately) lust and sex are always present and prevalent. Starting from the age of adolescence, up until testosterone all but disappears from our old and weakened bodies, the physical appearance of beauty in a woman captivates our attention and our desires.

Thankfully, I think that 39 years of wisdom has taught my mind and heart that while lust and sex is wonderful, it's a very small part of the overall benefit of a relationship. Love has taught me how much more important good companionship is, and having a woman who is a good mother and who you can trust to raise your children, and being with someone who not only knows and understands you well, but also stimulates your mind and your spirit. Logic tells me that sex lasts maybe 30-60 minutes, and takes place on average 2-3 times per week, which adds up to at most 3 hours per week, which is only 2.5% of our waking hours at best. So even if the sex is so incredible that you cry tears of joy from it, how much does it matter compared to everything else, in the grand scheme of things?

But again, those are issues of logic and love. And it doesn't take looking at the headlines too long to realize that the lust within a man's heart can wage a surprisingly strong battle against them. So when I find my wife attractive, when I desire her not only because I love her but because I want her, I thank God for giving her outward beauty, as well as inward beauty,. And I pray that I will always feel that way.

Valentines Day Advocate

2011-02-15T19:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Valentines Day. Every year I get amazed at how few men put any effort into this holiday. Out of probably more than a dozen men that I have asked, only one (ONE!) said that he is taking his wife out to dinner, and another is making his wife Eggs Benedict (which hardly counts in my opinion). I've heard the argument that love shouldn't be a man-made, pressured-into holiday, but shown randomly and unexpectedly instead. And I totally agree. But after years of marriage, doing romantic things for each other tends to unfortunately slip away. And that's why we men NEED Valentines Day - to remind us how our wives love being wooed and gushed over. To light a fire under our arses and get our romantic juices flowing again (assuming they were flowing while dating).

And not only is this good for the marriage relationship, but it's good for the kids to see as well. Daughters and sons WANT to see daddy pursuing mommy and being romantic to/for her. It not only helps boys learn how to treat women and daughters to know how they should be treated, but it also helps them both to feel secure about mom and dad's love for one another.

OK, so how about this for a summary:
If there is a husband that is actively romantic on a somewhat regular basis throughout the year, then he is officially excused from participating in the commercial holiday called Valentines Day.

However, for the other 95% of us lazy bastards, DO NOT avoid joining me in using Valentines Day as inspiration to continue to pursue romance in your marriage. You don't have to join the crowds at a restaurant either, you just have to put forth some thought and effort to let your wife know that you care and that she is worthy of wooing and pursuing.

Pondering the Paradox of Prayer, part 1

2011-02-09T21:11:00.000-08:00

My boss' boss' wife passed away from Cancer on Monday. Everyone who knew them had known that this was probably going to happen somewhat soon, but somehow it still seems to have come as a surprise. She was fairly young, probably in her mid to late forties?

I used to play tennis with Jaime (her husband), and he was my direct boss when I first started working at Northrop Grumman. We've been to their house for a few department pool parties, and seen Sonya before while out and about town. Reading what I just typed, it's evident that while my wife and I know them ok, it's not like we're their best friends or anything. But Jaime is someone I like and respect, and it's somewhat heart-wrenching to us that she's gone.

I think perhaps the hardest part about her death though, is the fact that not only have many people been praying for her and their family (their church, several co-workers who are Christians, etc), but my kids have also been very dedicated to praying for her as well. I've very proud of this last fact, because while Amanda and I have prayed for Sonya with the kids (before bed mostly), they have taken ownership of the cause themselves too. This became evident when one of their Sunday school teachers, upon hearing that Sonya had died (on Facebook), mentioned that they had asked to pray for her in Sunday school.

Now that the cause is gone though, they are left to process what happened. Did God forget about their requests, or did He just ignore them? Did He even hear them at all? Why pray if in the end it doesn't matter anyway?

I think it basically comes down to trusting that God knows best. We can't understand what's going on and cannot fathom why He does some things, or why He lets other things happen despite our fervent requests to the contrary.

It's similar to Amanda and I knowing what's best for our kids. While we want them to always come to us with their wants and needs and trust that we can help them, sometimes their desires conflict with our plans, and sometimes we know that what they're asking for isn't in their best interest. In those cases we refuse to heed their requests, despite their pleas. It has nothing to do with whether we love them or want them to be happy though. We just see things from a different, wiser (hopefully), and broader (big picture) perspective. So it is with God.

Primary Purposes of Paternity

2010-12-05T23:43:00.000-08:00

As a father, I have come to the conclusion that I have three primary, basic, roles:

Provision: This is the one that has been on my mind foremost as of lately, due to two rounds of layoffs at my company, the bad economy, the news, etc. Amanda and I both prefer to be a one-income family, so that she can be home to take care of the kids. While she does help with this a little (and I appreciate and respect it so very much), this responsibility is predominantly mine.
Protection. In a civilized and law-abiding society, this is probably the least important of the primary roles. Nonetheless, in the unlikely event that a threat would befall my family, this job is primarily mine to assume.
Presence: Sure, children all over the world survive just fine without a father, as they do sometimes without a mother. But both parents provide different and equally important characteristics and learning opportunities to the kids. And I am very confident that my presence, although less available, is just as valuable to them as Amanda's.

Yes, there are many additional roles and duties of fatherhood. But none are more important than these three, and most can be categorized under one of them.

Unfortunately, t in my current circumstances, all of these roles are in conflict with one another. I'll expand more on this in subsequent posts though.

Thankful for the Thanksgiving Weekend

2010-12-01T23:21:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I really should reply to the numerous comments about the previous gay son posts. I have much to say in response, but I honestly just don't feel like it. Maybe that's God making me keep my mouth shut.

Anyway, Thanksgiving weekend was full of socializing and awesomeness, so I figured I'd post about it so I can a) share it with whoever cares (1-2 people I think), and b) remember it better later.

For Thanksgiving day, our good friends and neighbors The Walkers invited us to join their family in the Pollock Pines/Sly Park area. After only an hour drive or so to get there, we were in about two feet of snow! So not only was it great to be with good people (8 adults and 10 kids total) during the holiday, but our kids got to see and play in the snow too! I'll add some pictures soon.

Friday and Saturday day, we unshelved the Christmas tree and decorations and started putting them up. It was fun family time. Unfortunately, I also had to work from home for a few hours on Saturday.

Saturday evening we went to our friends' house from church for our connect 3 group. This group consists of 3 families, and meets for dinner 3 times, once at each of their houses. This time it was at the Kahn family's house, with the Porter family meeting there as well. It was a really enjoyable evening of good food and fun conversation, and the kids all played together really well too. We'll really miss that group!

Sunday we skipped church to meet our friends from Bodega Bay, the Carnahan family, at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. The day started off rather painfully though. We arrived there at 11:30, only to realize that the park didn't open until 2pm. Then on top of that I realized I forgot my cell phone at home. No big deal, right, especially since Amanda has one too. Except that we had programmed the phone number to our friends' cell phone into mine! You know, the friends we were supposed to meet there!

So we parked our car there at the entrance to the park and waited for 45 minutes, hoping to see them pull up. When that didn't happen, we headed to a nearby park to eat the lunch that Amanda packed and waste some time until the park opened.

The good news is that the park was pretty sparsely populated compared to previous visits. It was a great time, and we finally did meet up with the Carnahans as both of our families were walking around the park. Then to top it all off we all met at and enjoyed Denny's breakfast for dinner.

To summarize the weekend: we drove 1 hour East, 1 hour West, had dinner with friends on 3 different evenings, and got some stuff done around the house too.

You Son's Gayness is Not the Issue

2010-11-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

This blog post has been making quite a stir around Facebook and elsewhere:
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

In it, a mother proclaims her support for her son wanting to dress like a girl, and the likelihood that he will possibly (probably?) eventually become gay.

After reading it, I proceeded to scroll down through the hundreds of comments, the overwhelming majority of which were in complete support and adoration for this mother. Similarly, there have been many Facebook friends posting a link to the blog, accompanied by supportive statements.

Well, perhaps needless to say, I would very much like to disagree with her, but I am going to attempt to do so in a way that is contrary to the few other Christian commenters who I think are coming across as mean-spirited, hateful, and unfortunately counter-productive (however good-intentioned). See below.

Parental Responsibility Regarding Homosexuality

2010-11-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

In response to this blog:

First of all, you are taking your son to a church preschool, but you're surprised that the adults there don't approve of your son's costume? Maybe you personally don't have any morals regarding sexuality (I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds.). But how on Earth could you be surprised that Christianity (and the people that adhere to it's teaching) does?

If you dressed your teen-aged daughter in a bacon bikini and sent her to a fundamentalist Muslim school, would you be surprised and offended if the adults there do not smile and accept her with open arms? Or would you expect there to be some sort of backlash and rebuke (and even fear for her safety) from what you know is contrary to their teachings about modesty and disgust for pork?

So why is it different for Christianity? The Bible is pretty clear on what God thinks of homosexuality (it's a sin), so if you don't agree with it, then don't let your son go to a CHURCH preschool. Or if you DO want him to still go to the school, then please respect the beliefs and morals that accompany the associated religion, no matter which one it is.

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Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?

Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN?

Maybe you were home schooled (lack of social exposure?), or maybe you were so popular (and isolated?) that you never experienced children making fun of each other. But if so, then let me provide some clarity: Kids make fun of each other. At every chance they get. You can attribute this to whatever you want to (insecurity, establishing natural social division, or perhaps just plain evil), but that's just the way it is, and has always been.

If you don't know this, then you are either seriously ignorant, or in incredible denial. But if you DO know this, then you purposefully misled your son to believe that it didn't exist, despite his very valid fears about it.

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If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.

I had to think about this for a while, because while it IS true, I had a hard time figuring out why. But I think I got it. At this point in his maturity, your son doesn't have any masculine qualities to combat his feminine appearance. So he looks very much like a girl.

However, at this point in a girl's maturation, she still looks very feminine (no facial hair, no bulging muscles, smooth skin, probably long hair, etc), even if dressed up as Batman. If, however, a woman did appear very masculine (have you heard the term "butch"?), then she would in all likelihood be made fun of, just like a boy who looks like a girl. That doesn't make it right, but it certainly isn't unexpected either.

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Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.

There is a significant difference between bullying and trying to persuade, convince, or even lovingly rebuke. And there is nothing in the situation as you described it that indicated anything but these ladies gently trying to provide clarity to you about the situation you put your son in.

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If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.

Making your child happy is certainly a part of being a mother. But it's also your job to TEACH your child. About how to survive, about right from wrong, and about the laws, both legally AND socially that govern our society. And it IS your job to dictate what is 'normal', because he has no idea what that is yet. Now, if he chooses to deviate from what you taught him, then that is up to him. But you still have to TEACH him first.

Halloween Appreciation

2010-11-04T22:12:00.000-07:00

As a dad, Halloween is quite possibly my favorite holiday.

There's no pressure to spend a lot of money on presents, nor do we need to put together a basket full of goodies. It's community-oriented, as people actually walk around and communicate with each other (albeit minimally). I get a kick out of seeing the costumes, both on my kids and on those coming to the door. And the kids really enjoy it too!

New Couch Decor Too!

2010-10-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

Emily threw up again today (Thursday). It happened right before I got home from work. This time it was all over the couch and living room though. Since Clara was still at the dinner table and the barf was quickly soaking into the cushions, I dropped my wallet and keys on the counter and got to work cleaning them up. Another day, another stinky puke mess to clean. Sigh.

New Bathroom Decor

2010-10-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

It was Monday evening and Emily had been complaining about her stomach hurting. She is a very slow and minimal eater though, especially for dinner. She has a habit of not only filling her belly up on her cup of milk, but making excuses for why she cannot eat the rest of her food. "I'm cold" (it's 78 degrees in the house). "I'm full" (she only had one bite and will complain about being hungry in another hour). "my boo boo hurts" (it's a 3-day old scratch). ""I have to go potty" (then she reads three books over the course of an hour and only pees). "I don't like this food" (what's not to like about spinach and asparagus souffle with limburger cheese and liver?).

So her complaint was mostly ignored, although we let her sit on the couch for a while. When she said she felt better, I let her come back to the table and encouraged her to eat more. As per our usual routine, I tried to persuade her by offering dessert after a certain goal was met. Well, time ran out and she didn't reach her goal, so I didn't give her dessert. And in hindsight it was certainly for the best.

Amanda had already left to attend a Beth Moore Bible study with other women at church. The kitchen was a mess too, and I had just finished getting Clara down from the table. I had given her a small piece of chocolate cake, which she had eaten hand to mouth (still working on the fork skills). Needless to say, there were cake crumbs all over the kitchen and probably in three adjacent rooms besides. By now it was getting late and the kids still needed to get a bath before going to bed.

I was just finishing cleaning Clara's mess when Emily ran past me and into the bathroom. "I throwed up!" echoed from around the corner of the doorway. "Well, at least she made it to the bathroom" I thought "which means it should mostly be in the toilet, right?" Well, maybe not in the toilet.

How about on, and around, and in the books, and on the carpets, and cabinets, as you can see in the above picture (yes, I took a picture). Emily was sweet in trying to help, but to do so she grabbed a clean towel from the wall-mounted rack and threw it over the puke, hence adding another casualty to the carnage.

After cleaning up the mess and starting a load of laundry, I bathed the kids and got them to bed. It was an hour later than usual, but the end of the evening was never more welcomed.

We're All Crybabies!

2010-09-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

My 3 year old daughter Emily was in a generally sour mood one recent morning. At some point she was crying over not having a tissue. Yes, we have plenty of Kleenex in our house, but she didn't happen to have one at the time. I think she had basically gotten into an emotional downward spiral of some sort, and at that point it could have been just about anything that would have set her off.

I think I tried to give her a hug first, at least I hope I did. When that didn't work though, I hate to say it, but I was having a difficult time mustering up sympathy. With all of the problems going on in the world, and with all of the blessings that you have, you are crying about a tissue? COME ON KID - you need some perspective here!

But then I couldn't help but think "Is it like that with us and God?" And if so, then does God maybe have a hard time giving us sympathy. Come on Michael! You want all of your bills paid and money left over for new "stuff"? You want perfect health instead of your child's runny nose? You want your decent paying white-collar job to be easier? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Look around you at the people who are unemployed and going through foreclosure! At those who are battling terminal illnesses! At people in other countries who are literally dying for decent living conditions and bodily nourishment! I love you, but COME ON KID - YOU NEED SOME PERSPECTIVE HERE!

I know it's OK to lay all of our requests before God, and I don't think he gets annoyed just because I ask him for things to make my already blessed life better. But I just wonder if God's response to our requests are affected by our attitudes. How much more do we want to give things to our own children, proportionately to how much we know that they appreciate them?

Faith to Stir a Nation

2010-08-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

I read 1 Samuel 17 this morning. While I've heard/read the story of David and Goliath dozens of times before, what struck me today isn't the courage of David, or the incredible faith that inspired this courage. It was the affect it had on the entire nation of Israel.

The whole army was discouraged and at its knees in one instant, the...n in the next was at its feet, screaming and charging toward the enemy. All because of this one boy's faith and courage culminating in a single moment.

Can you imagine how incredible it would be to be used by God to affect that many people all at once, with such intensity? What kind of event would/could possibly even occur to cause that today?

Completion and Review of "The Help"

2010-08-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

Amanda read this before me, as well as her mother, my sister, our neighbor, and every other woman in town it seems. And as you can guess by the gender of the aforementioned readers, this is a very estrogen-rich book.

The story is told from three different points of view, and all of them are women. Not only that, but 95% of the sub-characters are women too. Taking place in the deep American South of the 1960s, it delves into the life of two black maids and one white writer who attempts to write and publish a book about their lives. While the book was fiction, I can't help but wonder how much truth there is to the emotions, actions, roles, and experiences in it.

I have heard and read about the history of segregation and racism before, but it was gratefully never part of my life experiences. Black kids in my schools were treated with just as much love and respect as everybody else in the class, if not more. So while reading historical facts provides knowledge, it produced very little comprehension. While I never disbelieved the history, I have a hard time really absorbing it as a reality. But walking in their shoes, even if was only based on truth, gave me a whole new appreciation of what black people experienced during the trials and difficulties of racial desegregation.

As a whole, I loved this book. It was well written, emotionally gripping, had a positive message, a slight underlying spiritual tone (for Christianity, but against hypocrisy), and epitomized the greatest reason why I love reading - to put myself in someone else's shoes and to see what life was like for them. To gain a better understanding of different places and times. To not only use my imagination, but to expand my knowledge of people, cultures, and events.

Youth Camp 2010

2010-07-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

Sunday through Wednesday (7/23 - 7/28), I attended our church's youth camp as a leader. Here are some highlights and a few pictures.

Every morning I automatically got up early enough (5:30 - 6:30 is my normal wake up due to car-pooling or kids) to spend some quiet time reading the Bible and writing in my journal. I found these stairs on the side of the building, so I could be by myself but not have to walk too far either.

<-- the stairs

the view from where I sat-->

On Monday morning, I had enough time to also go for a run around the entire complex, which is fairly large, very hilly, and at an altitude of 6250 feet. There is also a very long length of stairs that I jogged up, leading from the lake to our cabin. I would estimate it to be at least 5-6 stories high. Through the 3 day duration of the trip, I must have gone up and down these stairs at least a dozen times.

<-- view from the top

view from the bottom-->

On the way back from my morning jog, I ran into many of the kids heading down to the lake with Jason (another leader). I joined them, and since I was sweaty from jogging anyway I jumped in the lake from the L-shaped dock on the left and swam back to the beach. In doing so I was the first one in the water on the trip.

pictures of the docks

We had a couple of worship and speaking sessions each day. Several times they were held at this outdoor amphitheater that had a spectacular view of the lake as a backdrop, as you can see in the pictures below.

Special thanks to Phil and Gentry for leading worship the whole time!

Packing up to head home.

Bryan was gracious (and patient) enough to be in charge of the packing and trailer towing.

On the way home we stopped at a park to eat a brown bagged lunch.

As you can see in the pictures below, the park had dozens of geese and squirrels mooching food from sympathetic and easily entertained people like us.

<-- aggressive geese

friendly, but fenced in squirrels-->

The kids seemed to have a great time and many responded favorably to the messages and encouragement that was presented to them. It was also truly an enriching, rewarding, challenging, and humbling experience for me as a leader.

Day by Day

2010-07-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

The available work at my company has slowed down dramatically lately. There are numerous people that I have talked to who are coming off of projects but are not sure if there is anything new for them to do. As for me, I am on a project until at least September, maybe later.

One thing that God has been showing me lately though, primarily during the occasional quiet times spent with Him in the morning, is to focus on living one day at a time.

With that focus comes the realization that at this moment in time I have a house to live in and food to eat. I have a job to go to and my family and I are pretty healthy (aside from an occasional cold). Both cars are currently running and the bills are getting paid. I am blessed beyond what most of the world experiences, and certainly well beyond what I deserve.

This day is the day that the Lord has made.
I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Work Witnessing

2010-07-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

The bad news is that I only logged in less than half a day at work today. The good news is that for the other half I was a) participating in a weekly discussion/prayer meeting with a couple of co-workers in the morning, b) playing 3-on-3 full-court basketball during lunch (and a little beyond), and finally c) having a >3 hour discussion with a co-worker about almost every possible aspect of Christian apologetics after lunch.

He was visiting our facility from San Jose, trying to get some work done in the same closed lab as me. For the most part we had the room to ourselves, although we were interrupted briefly a few times by other co-workers coming in and out.

I have actually talked to him for quite a long time before, over a year ago I think, maybe even two. Nothing came out of it before that I was aware of. He already believes in God, but is skeptical about everything, and I mean everything else regarding not only Christianity, but all religions. In fact, he's even skeptical that there is a supernatural, spiritual world period. Especially one that occasionally crosses over and has an effect on the physical one (miracles, etc).

He's a really good thinker though, and while it made for a long and difficult discussion, I love that kind of deep rooted questioning and doubting. Not only because it challenges me and makes me think deeply about my own faith and what I believe, but also because it reminds me of myself before I became a Christian (and still sometimes now too).

Like the previous discussion, maybe nothing significant will arise in my friend's heart/mind/spirit out of this one either. But maybe some of the ideas/words from before softened his heart, if only just a little bit. And maybe this one warmed it up some too, just a little bit more. Of course, only God knows, but it wouldn't surprise me if He is just working on my friend's heart a little at a time - slowly, but surely.

I don't know the ultimate outcome yet. But whatever it may be, I can take satisfaction in just representing my faith honorably and hopefully convincingly. And as far as work goes, it's a good thing that I clocked in extra hours last week, because it looks like I'll need them now:-(

Too Busy to Bond with Thy Neighbor?

2010-07-12T22:45:00.000-07:00

I was talking briefly this evening to my neighbor Joe, across the street. I ran out of room in my green waste disposal bin and after filling his up too, he offered to take the remainder of my tree clippings to the dumpster at his business.

When I dropped off the two big yard bags later, he was sitting outside letting his two little white dogs enjoy the fresh air. I thanked him and chatted for a minute before heading back home. But before I could turn around, he asked me if I wanted a beer and/or a cigar.

I politely declined, explaining that while that sounded good, Amanda and I were going to try to exercise (to a P90-X video). The kids were in bed, and time is of the essence. It's already a serious battle to get our butts in gear. But the longer we delay, the harder it is to get motivated. I thanked him for the offer though, and suggested maybe some other time.

After I went in the house though, I thought "Life is so darned busy, and it's so hard to just stop and bond with people. I should have taken the opportunity to spend some time with him." Exercising together is really important to me too though. One idea would have been to ask him if he wants to meet outside in an hour or so. Or I could have asked him if he was going to walk the dogs again before bed so we could hang out then.

Anyway, I'm really glad that Amanda and I worked out. We pushed through the whole hour and it felt great and rewarding. I'm just bummed that I had to sacrifice the opportunity to spend some time with my neighbor to do it. I do, however, pray that the opportunity will arise again soon, perhaps under better circumstances next time. Or maybe I'll make the effort/invite next time.

Tired, Sore, Bruised, but Very Happy!

2010-06-29T23:27:00.001-07:00

I went to Marinobles tonight for 1 hour of kickboxing class (with sparring), followed by 1 hour of MMA training (also with sparring).

I learned how to pass someone's guard and transition into an armbar, and also how to prevent someone from passing my guard.

I practiced leg sweeps and several different kicks, as well as several punches, both to the body and head. Sparred (max 75% power) with a range of people, from an 11 year old boy and a small Asian woman, to numerous men of various ages and sizes.

Took down a jiu jitsu guy a couple of times after controlling the striking, but then he guillotine choked me both times:-(

And at the end of the night, only me and a teenager were still following the instructor's orders at full speed. And I don't remember seeing him in the kickboxing class either.

And to top it all off I received several compliments on my "Jesus Didn't Tap" t-shirt. It was a good night!

Weekend Update - Amanda's Birthday!

2010-06-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

Monday was Amanda's birthday. So we celebrated it slowly over the whole course of the weekend.

Friday night we went to Fresh Choice for dinner. Afterward, we picked up a bottle of ice wine from a adjacent beverage store. I was too ridiculously full from dinner to enjoy it though, so we refrained from opening it.

=====================================
On Saturday she went to lunch and clothes shopping with a friend. While she was gone, I fed the kids lunch and we watched the US soccer team lose to Ghana. Since we have an antenna for our TV though, the only channel I could find it on was a Spanish channel. And despite my previous post, I kinda enjoyed watching it, although the kids got bored way before I did. Maybe it's because neither team was doing excessive flopping.

Then in the evening we ended up watching our good friend's kids so they could have a date. While that doesn't sound exciting, we ended up jogging to the park with them while they rode their bikes, which was both a lot of fun and some exercise. Then we had a popsicle party in our front lawn when we got back home. To finish the evening, they all enjoyed watching a Pooh movie together. Both their kids and ours had a great time., which of course also makes us happy.

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Sunday, we went to Bodega Bay where we met Amanda's cousin and his wife. The weather was perfect, and I had some good one-on-one time with Emily when we went for a walk along the beach, and Lucas too when we were running and trying to fly a kite (not much wind though).

Amanda's other cousin (the first one's brother) also met us there later with his girlfriend, and after the beach we went to her Aunt's house for a phenomenal tri-tip dinner that he (Ben) cooked up.

=====================================
I took Monday off of work, in honor of Amanda's birthday. We mostly took it easy that day though, since Sunday wore us out (too much sun and lots of driving).

After I let her sleep in that morning we made crepes for breakfast (I cooked the dough and we both assembled them).

Later the kids and I baked a cake for Amanda - she requested vanilla cake with a lemon middle, and vanilla frosting over it which she made to make sure it came out right. It tasted great!

After the kids' afternoon nap, we went to watch Toy Story 3 in the theatre. Since it was Amanda's birthday, I took care of Clara for 90% of the time. Which meant that I only was able to watch the 1st half of the movie, until she was sick of popcorn and started getting restless and noisy. I ended up pacing the hallways with her during the 2nd half of the movie in an attempt to keep ourselves occupied. I can't blame her though, since she has no idea what they are saying in the dialogue.

Finally, after the kids were in bed we sat on our front bench outside and opened the ice wine that we picked up on Friday.

=====================================
It was a memorable and enjoyable weekend. I'll have to post some pictures once Landis (Amanda's cousin) sends them to us, since we left our camera in the car:-(

A Kick in the World Cup

2010-06-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

I want to root for my country, especially in a competition as worldwide as The World Cup. But I'm sorry, the only sport that is more boring to watch than soccer/football is golf.

Not only is it boring, but I simply refuse to support a sport where acting like a freaking sissy is not only not penalized, but even advocated. Watching these dill weeds fly to the ground while holding their faces when no one even touched them is downright sickening. Then, if the other guy doesn't fall to the ground and writhe in pain too then the ref will likely give him a penalty card.

I will venture to say that this may be the only sport I can think of where the professional women players appear to be tougher than the men.

I really WANT to get over it and participate in the cheering though. Somebody please convince me.

Why I Didn't Vote Today

2010-06-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

Amanda and I have voted in probably 9 out of 10 elections. Usually, we sit down with the mailed out information booklets, read through all of the proposition and candidates, and decide what/who we want to vote for. Most of the time our decisions are identical, but not always.

Leading up to this year's primary elections though, we have been up to our ears getting ready for Vacation Bible School (VBS) at our church. Amanda is in charge of the drama portion of it, and besides helping her as much as possible in the preparation, I have also volunteered to be the actor/character for 2 of the 5 nights.

Because of VBS, I am going to bed later (11:30+), and therefore getting up later, which leads to me getting to work later. Then on top of that I have to leave work early so I can be home by 4:30pm. So my work hours are going to be significantly short this week. Not only that, but we haven't had time to read through the informative material that we received in the mail.

Ok, now that the whine-fest is over, my co-worker pointed out that I can just swing by the voting station on the way home from work. While this is true, there is still one more reason why I refuse to just stop in and check those decision boxes.

I am completely opposed to people voting when uninformed. I don't care if you're a communist liberal or a nazi conservative, as long as you know what the hell you're voting for when you check those boxes, then more power to you. But it is my belief that many (most?) people go to the polls and just go straight down along party lines. Or at best they may carry a suggestion card with them from some organization and just follow their guidelines to the tee.

Admittedly, in the past I have been one of them. In 1993, at the age of 22 (yes, I am getting old), I voted for Bill Clinton because I thought he seemed cool. That's right, for no other reason but that.

In my opinion, there should be a screening process of some sort (a mail-in questionnaire?) which demonstrates that each person has an actual reason why they are making their voting decisions. And only then would they be allowed to make their choices count.

All of that to say that I didn't vote today because a) lack of time, and b) to do so would be in violation of my own principal of informed voting.

Selfish Attitude for Menial Servitude

2010-06-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

I am really dreading the next two weeks in preparation for and execution of VBS (Vacation Bible School) at our church. I know I should have a better attitude about it, but my selfishness is annoyed (even ticked off?) about putting everything else on hold and having my wife and I bust our butt in all of our spare time.

And compared to other couples/families at our church, our sacrifice/participation is probably trivial.

Yeah, as I'm typing this I know that I should probably be praying more about it too.

Diminished Sympathy

2010-05-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

While my political opinions are generally conservative, I fall somewhat close to the middle ground regarding my stance on numerous issues, including illegal aliens.

I can see the human sympathy side of them wanting to support their families. I also know they work hard at the mostly labor-intensive jobs that they fill, and in doing so are contributing to the economy by lowering the costs of the goods and services of the companies that they work for.

However, since my political views tend to lean in the conservative direction, I can certainly see the arguments against illegal aliens as being valid too (increased crime, use of taxpayer's resources, failure to integrate into our culture, etc).

I learned something new and interesting about the issue today though. Did you know that there is a fairly quick way for all immigrants, illegal included, to gain citizenship to the United States through service in the military?

I must admit that this diminishes the sympathy side of my opinion by a substantial amount.

You Are Getting Sleepy. Sleepy. SLEEPY.

2010-05-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

I am chronically sleep deprived. A couple of Saturdays ago it was the first time in many months/years that I opened my eyes in the morning without forcing them.

I can't help but wonder how much smarter/stronger would I be, or how much better memory would I have if I were to get the proper sleep throughout my life? Or how many years I may have even shortened it.

==========================

I recently attended the Embedded Systems Conference (ESC) in San Jose for three days. On Wednesday, the first session that I was planning on attending didn't start until around noon. So I woke up in the hotel by myself, with nowhere to go for a few hours. It was absolutely incredible to be able to just go back to bed, then when I was finished sleeping to just lie in it a little longer.

I realized that this may be the only time I get to do this for a long time, perhaps many years, or even the better part of the rest of my life. That may sound overly dramatic, but even when I have previously traveled for work, I was due at the customer's or sub-contractor's facility first thing in the morning. At home, even when my wife lets me sleep in there is noise downstairs. Also I can't seem to avoid the self-imposed pressure to not sleep in too long so I don't keep the family waiting on me for breakfast, so I can start cranking on my to-do list, and/or so I can help Amanda with the kids.

So this may be a revelation. I think that Amanda and I should be deliberate in making this happen for each other as Mother's day and Father's day gifts. 24 hours of being away from the house, kids, and even each other. It would start in the morning, then she can hang with friends, have time to herself, see a movie, or whatever. Then just go to a hotel and sleep in to her heart's desire.

Look Dad - A POLICEMAN!

2010-04-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

I recently attended a pancake and parents breakfast with my two oldest kids at their preschool. It was a good way to take a break from my work routine and spend time with them.

But after we sat down and started eating, my son looked over at the next table and exclaimed to me "Look dad - A POLICEMAN!". Sure enough, another dad had joined the breakfast in his uniform.

I thought about how that used to be my dad, the policeman in his uniform impressing all of the other kids. What about me though? I'm just another stiff in a polo shirt. Oh sure, it could be worse. At least I'm in good shape and I don't embarrass my kids with high tube socks, sandals, and short shorts.

But I would have made a great cop. I would like the conflict and the risk. I'm pretty confident in my ability to handle myself, I'm comfortable in an authority role, and I have above average communication skills. I'm pretty sure of at least this much - I would have made a better cop then I do an engineer. But dad discouraged it, and God led me down other paths I guess.

So now the question is this (or is it more of a quest?) - in what ways can I be impressive to my kids? Aside from being an exceptional dad, how can I be an exceptional man? One that my children would be proud of and/or want to brag about?

All Are Not Necessarily Precious in His Sight

2010-03-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

The more I read the Old Testament (I'm in Deuteronomy right now), the more I am convinced that God cares more about the quality of His people than the quantity.

From a Biblical perspective - if you're not for Him, or especially if you can/will corrupt His people (what was Israel, but now are all Christians) then you're basically worthless and God would rather you be destroyed than have you cause His children to sin and/or turn away from Him.

From Deuteronomy 20:

¹⁶ However, in the cities of the nations the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. ¹⁷ Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the LORD your God has commanded you. ¹⁸ Otherwise, they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods, and you will sin against the LORD your God.

This goes completely counter to our culture though, which generally believes that each person's life is precious, special, and just as valuable as the next one. But I don't think this is really God's perspective.

Now, a few caveats here. Please understand that this is not a reflection of my personal opinion toward non-Christians. I love and appreciate all of my friends, just as I periodically pray for all of them. Also, I know that God can and has used non-Christians/Israelites to accomplish His purposes. And I also know that some people become "His" (i.e. Christians) later in life than others, some even on their death bed.

I'm just saying that as a whole, God doesn't seem to have as high a sanctity of life as we humans tend to. What really counts for God is not how long you live, but whose side you're on while you're alive, and consequently where you go after you die.

WTFWJD?

2010-03-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

My non-Christian co-worker recently told me about the acronym WTFWJD. It took me a minute, but upon realizing what it meant I laughed and immediately began looking for a t-shirt with that phrase on it (I found some, but haven't bought one yet).

After mentioning this phrase on Facebook though, I understandably got mixed reactions. Part of the negative reaction was from the fact that I am one of the leaders in our church's youth group, and many of those youth are Facebook friends of mine. Oops! Yes, upon realization and reflection I think it is inappropriate to encourage this phrase for younger kids. Sorry parents.

Another negative reaction stems potentially from misinterpreting unintended emotions. Since it's written (as opposed to spoken), it's hard to tell if it's being stated with anger. The "F" word is a pretty strong curse word, so is the writer (in this case me) shaking his fists and yelling with a furrowed brow? From my minimal experience, most Christians only speak the "F" word under extreme conditions, such as hitting your finger with a hammer, just after getting in a car accident, or even worse - when their sports team loses a game. But most of the cases that I've seen the phrase "WTF" used isn't out of anger, but more commonly confusion. Such as a crazy picture with the caption WTF under it. Or someone stating something ridiculous or outlandish in a forum and another person commenting with "WTF?".

Another concern with WTFWJD is the question of using God's name (Jesus' - same thing) in vain. By cursing in the same sentence/phrase as Jesus' name, am I possibly taking His previous and holy name in vain? Well, since I'm not cursing at God or using his name to curse something else, I personally don't think that is the case.

Now that I've covered the reasons why people might not like this phrase, I'd like to explain why I do like it. 1) It gets people's attention. WWJD is an old and overused phrase, and this puts another spin on it in a fresh and funny (although vulgar) way. 2) It's relevant to today's culture. WTF is one of the widely used phrases for texting and chatting, along with OMG, LOL, and many others that have become common with the current technologies used for communication. 3) It can be used to promote my faith. I'm (perhaps optimistically) hoping that because this statement is controversial, the attention that it draws could potentially be used to actually start a conversation about my faith with someone who could benefit from it.

Now the real question is this though - if I were to wear a t-shirt with this printed on the front of it - what Bible verse would best be suited to be printed on the back of it? Any help is appreciated.

Book Reviews and Pictures

2010-02-23T20:43:00.000-08:00

I finished another book last month - The Lovely Bones. I finally sat down to write a review about it, along with another one that I had finished previously (Monster). They can be read here.

There is also another page of pictures (from three different events) on our family web page, even if they are a little outdated. You can check them out here.

The Meeting Minutes of Michael's Mind

2010-01-18T22:04:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago, I was in a long drawn out meeting at work. Since my participation in this meeting was minimal, I started daydreaming about this question"What would an ideal life look like to me, within the bounds of reality?" I then started making a list, of goals that could actually be achievable, even if they would be unlikely and/or overwhelmingly difficult. So here is is:

Exercise 3-4 times/week consistently.
Aside from my regular job, make some additional $ on the side somehow (make an invention and/or start my own business of some sort, etc.)
Be able to afford having our house cleaned quarterly (take the stress of keeping up with it off of Amanda).
No (or very few) house or car repairs to have to deal with myself.
Enough $ to pay off debt sooner, and also do more fun things (with the family and on dates)
Be motivated to read and learn more stuff for work. I am considering an accountability partner and/or creating a discussion group for this.
Go on more dates with Amanda, preferably dressing up occasionally too.
Spend 15 minutes/day with God (reading Bible, praying, etc.)
For Amanda and me both to set aside 1 day/year spent with God (be alone with Him - just walking, thinking, praying, contemplating, listening, etc).
To set aside at least 1 full day and night per year for just Amanda and myself to spend together.

Now all I have to do is win the lottery and cut out sleep from my schedule:-) Seriously though, is this list achievable? If not any time soon, then even in my lifetime? And if not in its entirety, then which items should I scale back or just give up on?

Maybe this exercise is pointless, but then again maybe setting these goals could help motivate me more to find a way to achieve them.

An Evening with the Whites

2010-01-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

We met our good friends Tim and Tammy White when Lucas and their son Shane were just infants (see picture above). Well, unfortunately for us they moved to the East Coast (Maryland) about a year ago.

Since they were back in town this week for a visit though, they stopped by our house for dinner on Wednesday evening. It was really great to see them and catch up on each other's lives.

You can see how much the kids, and our families, have grown in the updated picture below. And Clara was sleeping, so she's not in it.

Bragging on My Better Half

2009-12-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

Saturday evening we had a couple of families over for dinner, whom we were in a Bible study with when we lived in Florida. It was a great time to hang out, catch up with each other, and even pray for and inspire each other spiritually.

But one of the things that I enjoy the most about whenever we spend time with friends is, oddly enough, my wife Amanda. She really shines when in a group of people, especially ones that we are comfortable around and familiar with. And when she's able to just relax and cut loose, her wit spills out into the room like wine and spirits. It's a beautiful thing to watch.

I almost titled this blog "The Trophy Wife". But I think trophy wives are supposed to primarily be just eye candy. And while Amanda is definitely easy on the eyes, her personality really draws people's attention, as well as my admiration.

The real shame of this though is that since leaving Florida (where we had a solid circle of close friends) and having children (making social occasions much more difficult to arrange and/or execute), evenings like this happen only once or twice a year - at best.

My Mind Isn't the Only Thing Either

2009-12-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

Well, tomorrow we will take our annual family picture. To prepare for the event, I gave myself a much needed haircut. It came out OK, about as good as usual, which is pretty darned good for the price (free). However, in the process of doing so, I noticed something unusual in my profile - I AM LOSING MY CHIN and JAWLINE!

I knew that I am in the worst shape of my life, due to a combination of lack of exercise (no basketball even, due to rain), and an abundance of holiday treats. But now I am seeing the proof of it in places that I never have before. Drastic action must be taken!

I really should kick my own ass through a fast of some sort - perhaps 1 day of water only, or 3 days of juice only? But it's so damn hard to get motivated for the self-torture. I'm getting soft both physically and mentally - I know it and I hate it, but here I am. For the moment anyway.

I did just purchase the P-90X DVD set (through Craigslist for $50), but now I need to buy some additional equipment to use with it. But more difficult than acquiring the hardware is figuring out how to fit a regular (as close to daily as possible) exercise time into our schedule. Ugh.

Losing My Mind?

2009-12-18T22:44:00.001-08:00

I meet with 3-4 other Christian men/co-workers on Thursday mornings before work to have breakfast, socialize, discuss a spiritual topic of some sort, and pray together.

Well, this week the four of us were praying for the person on our left, and when my turn came up I had the ultimate brain fart - I absolutely, for the life of me, could not remember the name of the guy on my left. Not only is he a co-worker who I meet with once a week for prayer/breakfast, but I've been working with him on my current project almost exclusively (besides my boss) for 8-9 months now. To make it even worse, I consider him to be one of my best friends at work. Heck, I even had him and his wife over to dinner recently!

Needless to say, it was awkward to say the least. The only good news is that I did finally recall it again before we finished going fully around the circle. So I was able to make my prayer request on his behalf before we were finished. It scared me a little though, I must admit.

Observations of Political Attitudes

2009-12-08T21:29:00.000-08:00

One thing I've observed about liberals is that they are generally a bitter lot. In fact, I think the more liberal an individual is, the more bitter they are about life, politics, their circumstances, just about everything.

Liberals are also generally blame shifters - they are usually the last ones to blame when something goes wrong in their life. As for me, I am usually the most critical of myself, and when things go wrong I get frustrated with my own actions that were taken to encourage the situation, or not taken to prevent it. Only after scrutinizing my own decisions will I look elsewhere for blame.

Another thing I've observed about liberals is that they generally think they are owed something - from their company, their family, their friends, and (since we're talking about politics) especially from the government. Maybe this is the cause of the bitterness, or maybe they feel they are owed something as a result of the source of their bitterness (you owe me because you let me down, etc). Either way, they probably go hand in hand.

As for me, I have high expectations for no one but myself. I only expect my employer to fulfill their promises of what was in the paperwork that I signed for employment - namely a paycheck, whatever benefits they agreed to, and hopefully a fair review for my performance every year. Anything else they choose to provide (bonuses, Christmas parties, lunch, etc) is above and beyond that, and I am thankful for whatever that may be.

I also expect my government only to provide me with just a few basics necessities - freedom (to speak my mind, move about at will, pursue my dreams, etc) and an orderly society, such as protection from other individuals looking to take my life, liberty, or property. Anything above or beyond that I expect to have to provide for myself.

The big question for me is this: Is there a right and a wrong here, or is it just differences of opinions? I don't know for sure, but I can tell you this - having lower expectations of others and conversely higher levels of gratitude generally promotes a much better attitude.

Make Waste, Not Haste

2009-11-24T21:07:00.000-08:00

Well, in addition to playing a crappy game of basketball today (what the $@*& happened to my confidence?), and having a frustrating day at work, I found out that we wasted $365 yesterday. That was the cost of an appraiser, in the interest of pursuing refinancing our house.

I knew our home has lost value (as everyone's has), but our circumstances (good credit rating, current mortgage is with a Freddie Mac affiliated bank) qualified us for a %125 loan-to-value refinance.

Since interest rates are low it would have not only saved us money on our monthly payments, but also in overall interest paid, and we would pay off our loan at around the same amount time as our current one, by paying just half of the $200 monthly savings back into the loan.

Zillow and another similar web site estimated us at only %107 loan-to-value, and the mortgage broker thought we could even skip the appraisal. He ended up being wrong though, and unfortunately the appraiser estimated the L-to-V at approximately 133% - screwed!

Essential Guidelines for Good Parenting

2009-11-16T20:38:00.001-08:00

The more time I spend around people (friends, family, acquaintances, etc) with children, the more I have come to realize that there are very, very few good parents out there. I would even go so far as to say that maybe only 1 out of 7 familes are doing a good job of parenting.

I know, I know - everyone thinks that they are good parents (including myself, most of the time). And I also know that no one, including myself, is perfect (my patience is too short at times, and I don't spend as much time with them as I would like to due to being overly busy).

There are many aspects of what I would consider good parenting, including developing a relationship with your children (by spending time with them), listening to what they have to say (even if you don't want to hear it), providing for them (putting a roof over their head and food on the table), and protecting them (to the best of your ability anyway).

However, there are three simple absolutely essential guidelines that I have decided are the very bare necessities for good parenting.
They are as follows:

Love your children. Give them hugs, kisses, and words to encourage them and let them know on a regular basis that they are loved, accepted, appreciated, adored, etc.
Teach and guide them. Children come into this world knowing absolutely nothing about it, and there is a whole lot to learn. Any a-hole who relies solely on teachers in school to do the job is negligent in their duties, especially because books alone aren't going to get them through life smoothly and/or successfully.
And finally .... DISCIPLINE THEM! This is the one that I see performed the least. Even many couples whom I greatly love and respect - as people, as intellectuals, and even as Christians - refuse to discipline their children adequately!

But what do I mean by "adequately"? It's pretty damned simple - if they are doing something wrong, and you tell them as such, then they do it again - then they need to be punished! Ok, fine - maybe you can tell them again and they can be given a second chance. But after that it's not sufficient to redirect them, ignore them, or laugh about it like they are being cute somehow - DISCIPLINE THEM, DAMNIT!

I'm not saying you should be a Nazi who doesn't let your children express themselves and make mistakes, but if you don't discipline your kids when they do things that are wrong then they are not going to learn that a) you are in control and they need to obey you, and b) that what they are doing is wrong and is not only a bad choice, but it's not an acceptable way to act - in society, in school, or especially in my house!

There are many methods of discipline to choose from, and I know that most people disagree on which one(s) are the best to use. Options include putting them in time out, grounding them to their room, taking away toys or other items, or even spanking them. But in all honesty it doesn't really matter which one(s) you choose - just pick one and USE IT!

Are You Talking to Me?

2009-11-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

After playing basketball today during lunch (see previous post), I was stretching in the gym and talking to a guy who only plays ball once in a great while. We were both talking about exercising only sporadically and the struggle against weight gain.

Then he mentioned something about how it's easier for me though since I'm a natural athlete. I think I just shrugged it off and continued with a different aspect of the conversation. But a short while later his comment struck me as really interesting.

Me?? A natural athlete? Of all the people who knew me back in grade and high school, who the heck would ever have thought that I would ever, ever, ever be called naturally athletic?

Back then I was always the last to be picked and the worst one on the team. And it's still not unusual for me to have a really crummy game and even downright suck. But I'm tall, fit, and can move fairly fast, especially for my age (38). And if my confidence is high and I'm feeling physically good (enough sleep, some recent exercise, etc), then I can sometimes bring a pretty darned good game.

And maybe, just maybe, with all of the basketball, ultimate frisbee, and a continuous effort to stay somewhat fit - maybe I've actually made myself into someone who really is athletic.

Basketball Bragging

2009-11-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

I've been playing basketball now for a couple of years - sometimes at work during lunch, and more recently in an "E" league (the lowest ability) for two seasons. Generally, I am not very good. And often I really truly suck.

But then there are the occasional exceptions, the good days. Well, today was one of them. In fact it was maybe one of my best days of basketball yet. Today, there even were oohs, aahs, and "damn!s" directed toward me on the court. The other guys were even talking about it in the locker room afterward.

For starters, there is a guy named Jason who played ball in high school - he's a couple inches taller than me, he's fresh out of college (young), in great shape, and undoubtedly the best player on the court at work. Well, today he intercepted a pass in the back of the court and was heading toward the basket at full speed. But I poured on the gas to catch up and just as he was about to drop it in for the easy lay up - there I was. Bam! Denied it!

Then later he had the ball in the back court. I was going in the same direction as him and a little ahead of him, but then I changed directions and swiped it right out from under him, then sped behind him for a layup. I also intercepted several passes (including one intended for him), grabbed another steal or two, and made about 2-3 baskets in each of the first two games (we only play to 11).

Maybe playing with Bill (full court) on Monday helped. Or maybe getting more sleep than usual lately helped (it's honestly a weird feeling for me not to be tired). Or maybe it was the cooler fall weather, or a combination of all of the above. Whatever the reason though, I was on.

It wasn't a perfect game though- Jason did pay me back later by cold beating down one of my shots. And I did miss several other shots too, including an easy layup after one of my steals. But it was good enough to get numerous compliments, including from Jason. And I can't say that it didn't feel good. Now if only I could play like that consistently!

Pictures of Pomegranate Paradise

2009-11-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

<-- The tree after already picking about half of the fruit.

It's Pomegranate season! And the tree in our backyard had fourteen fruits on it this year. It would probably have more, but at least 2/3 of the tree was getting choked out by a neighboring tree - I have since trimmed it up though so the P-tree will get more sun and hopefully produce even more fruit next year.
While it takes a little bit of work and a lot of mess to extract the seeds/fruit (that red juice squirts everywhere), they are really sweet and tasty and as you can see we all have fun opening and eating them.

Money Matters, for Midgets

2009-10-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

One of the things we took away from the Love and Logic class last year was that it's never too early to start teaching kids about money. I like this idea not only because it helps them to learn about saving money and buying things for themselves, but it also helps them to understand us when we say that things they are asking for are too expensive. And hopefully they will also understand more about the value of their toys, having seen how difficult it is to save up enough to buy them.

Amanda and I decided to give them an allowance amount equivalent to their age each month, but on a weekly basis. For example, since Lucas is 4, we give him $1 per week. In exchange for their allowance though, they have to perform one chore each. Lucas helps me dump all of the small garbages on Sunday night (the truck comes on Monday morning) and Emily helps to keep the crumbs off of the kitchen floor using our "Shark".

For slightly more expensive toys (>$5), I decided to match the kids money dollar for dollar if they are willing to save up for their half of the price. The first big item Lucas bought his with his own money was a set of small construction trucks (picture is below). I've been trying to encourage him to save for a decent Lego set, but he has a very difficult time denying himself the joy of Matchbox or Hot Wheels cars. But at $1 - $1.50 per car, who can really blame him.

Mindful of the Mustache Memories

2009-10-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

Before shaving off the fu-man-chu I had developed for my new work badge picture, I left a mustache on just to see how it would look.

And as you can see below (the picture is a little dark), I look pretty ridiculous with it.

It made me think of my dad though - he had a mustache for most of my memories. And it looked pretty good on him (as you can see below).

Thinking back, I remember him carrying a black plastic comb around with him, and after his head hair he would also brush his mustache. I also recall as a kid getting scratchy goodnight kisses from him and his facial hair. He would sometimes shave it off, but all of us kids much preferred him with it.

What's funny is that after growing out my beard recently (before changing it to a fu-man-chu), my kids said that they preferred me with the facial hair too. The best I can figure why is maybe because facial hair makes men look tougher? That little bit of lip hair made a big difference on my dad, and I honestly think that the tougher a dad looks, the more secure and safe kids feel, even if it's subconscious.

Thinking about all of this made me miss him greatly. Then I started to imagine what life would be like if he were still around. He would be an awesome grandpa to my kids. How proud I always was for my friends to meet him - he was not only a bad-ass cop, but also a easy going and friendly guy. I'm sure I would feel even more proud for my kids to know him, and I bet Lucas would especially fawn over him. Then my son could have more mustache memories too.

Basketball Dreams Deflated, but Not Destroyed

2009-10-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

Well, after my second season of playing in a basketball league, I think I'll take a break before playing in another one for a while.

Sure, there has been a day or two when I've scored a couple baskets, and it's not uncommon for me to supply some fairly tenacious D (rebounds, pressure, an occasional steal).

But I am not at the level that I would like to be. I just do not think that I am a significant enough contributor to the team.

However, I really do enjoy playing and am not going to give up on my hoop dreams altogether. Instead, I'm going to try to start playing one extra day per week at work (during lunch). That one extra day will probably only be played with my fellow carpooler and/or 1-2 more players.

Since I will be the only one (or two) on my team with the ball on that 2nd day, this should give me a lot more ball-handling, shooting time, and solicitation of feedback. I also hope to develop more strategy and being able to practice moves and sequences. Ideally I would have a plan every time I handle the ball, and even better would be if I had a backup plan too.

Another year or five, and I'll be ready for the big leagues. Or at least a league for starters.

Once in a Career Opportunity

2009-09-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's not as momentous as it sounds, but my company is now implementing new badges for all of its employees. Along with these badges are new pictures too. So, who cares?

Well, if you look at the badges of employees who have been there for 5, 10, 15, 20+ years, in every case you will see a picture of them that was taken on their first day of employment. Even through previous badge transitions, the same original picture was used. It's usually humorous to see them too, way back in the day of a full head of hair, a mustache, or with 75 lbs less weight on their frame.

Because of that, it seems likely that this opportunity will only present itself just one time in the entire time that I work there. So the question that I am trying to answer is this - what do I want that picture to look like? The one I currently have is mostly normal - I had a goatee, a standard short length haircut, and a smile. I'm mostly photogenic (except for last year's family pictures), so it looks decent.

Current picture.

But a couple of fellow co-workers gave me the idea of making this new one silly and memorable. I already did it with my drivers license picture (a crooked semi-smile and one eyebrow raised), so why not now?

One argument is that since others will have access to this picture on the work online directory then they could see the picture and get a crummy first impression of me before I even start on a new project. But that's pretty unlikely, and I would think meeting the real me would erase any damage a silly picture would do.

Any ideas for poses, hair dos, etc? One requirement is that we are not allowed to smile.

Gentlemen Bandits

2009-08-31T21:50:00.000-07:00

I was working on my car late last Thursday night with the intention of driving it to work on Friday morning. I ended up staying up until 2:30am to get it road worthy. But road worthy it is once again.

At about midnight though, I heard some strange scraping noises coming from the open door to the side yard. I thought maybe it was my neighbors, but why would they be awake and outside that late though, especially since they're elderly? I stepped out to looked, but didn't see anything so I went back to work.

A few minutes later the scraping sounds were actually on the wall of our house -what the heck?! I stepped out of the door to see several shadowy shapes moving along our fence. It was dark and hard to see, but I could just barely tell that they were multiple raccoons.

They stayed there just long enough to pose for this picture, then scurried away.

A Bowl of Rice is Twice as Nice

2009-08-21T23:19:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday morning I was working in the side yard, when I realized the garbage can reeked pretty bad and there were a few flies buzzing around it too. I decided to move it to the curb, even though the garbage pick-up wasn't until Monday morning.

Finding a few flies making their way into the garage, I thought that maybe I should put the kitchen bag(s) into a big black yard bag to further seal up whatever was causing the stink. So I reached in and picked up the kitchen bag that was on top, but as I lifted it up the bottom dropped out of it, causing a cascade of maggots like a waterfall.

After reflexively and disgustedly dropping it back in and closing the lid, I noticed several of the despicable little critters making their way out of a hole at the bottom of the can, which you can see in the pictures below.

I thought about getting a picture of inside the can, but the thought of accidentally dropping the camera in there was nauseating enough that I'm pretty sure I would have just left it in there. Also, these pictures were taken after slaughtering as many escapees as I could by spraying them with bleach as they crawled away.

I walked into the kitchen to ask Amanda who she killed and why their cadaver is in our trash can. She explained that she had dumped three chicken carcasses into the kitchen can. While I was at first annoyed with her, after thinking about it I was pretty sure I had done the same thing numerous times myself. Like she said - we've never had a problem before.

I guess my mom had the right idea. She used to always wrap chicken carcasses in a separate plastic bag before putting it in the kitchen garbage, whereas Amanda and I have always just dumped it straight into the kitchen garbage.

Well, to avoid a plague of flies in our cul-de-sac, I then proceeded to wage war against the little rice worms. First I filled a spray bottle with bleach and emptied it into the can, along with dumping about a quart straight into it. The next morning I doused them with an entire can of Raid. I also sprayed them with bleach as they spread out in a semi-circle on the floor around the can.

I guess I eventually won the battle, since I staved off the swarm until the pick-up on Monday morning. But now my eye has a weird twitch.

A "Pet" Peeve

2009-08-05T22:15:00.000-07:00

It annoys the crap out of me when people talk about their pets like they are human babies.

If you don't have kids then believe me when I tell you that taking care of your dumb dogs (yes, I like dogs, but let me rant would you) or cats are not even remotely like taking care of a child.

If you DO have kids though then you should know better.

What the Devil?

2009-07-31T21:10:00.000-07:00

On Facebook recently, I posted a link to an article that will probably rock most people's psyche. Along with that post, I said the following:

"The purpose of this link (below) is not to ruin anybody's day, but to demonstrate one of the many reasons that I believe something that probably 75% or more of the world doesn't, even many (most) people who call themselves "Christians" - the belief in evil and actual beings (the devil, demons, etc) who advocate and instigate it."

Woman decapitates baby, cannibalizes brain

Later that day, the question still lingered - why do so many people find it easy to accept God as a plausible reality, yet refuse to accept the possibility of the existence of his nemesis and/or his forces. So, in making conversation, I posed this question to my carpool associate, Bill. And I really liked his answer. It was this:

"If you believe in the devil, that means you also have to believe that there is a hell. And if you believe in hell, that means someone has to go there."

Simple. Elegant. Logical. I like it. Thanks Bill!

Unexpected Expressions of Affection...

2009-07-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

... are the most beautiful kind, I think.

By that I mean when you see old people still holding hands and being affectionate with one another. Or a big, tough looking dude doting on his daughter, or carrying a doll as a present for her.

Come to think of it, it's not very often that couples who have been married for a while are still openly affectionate either. Maybe it's because of their arms being full of kids and/or kid accessories. I think that's usually the case for us anyway, at least when we're out and about.

Happy Freakin' Birthday

2009-07-26T23:17:00.000-07:00

I celebrated my 38th birthday last week (whoop-de-do). I was out of town for work reasons, so not only did I not get a cake, candles, presents, or party on my birthday, but the only people who cared enough to give me any gift at all were my in-laws. A sincere thank you goes out to mom and dad Crocker.

Yeah, I guess I'll admit that I might be a little bitter maybe. But I honestly think after turning 25 (or maybe 30), the importance of celebrating your birthday every year transitions to being every 5 years instead. Years 1 through 30 were a big deal, but after that only 35 really is, then 40, etc.

What's funny though (or maybe not) is that my grandma sent my wife some money for her birthday last month, but all I got is a blank card - I mean, come on!

I did get a lot of well-wishes from Facebook friends though - so thanks to you all.

The People are Supposedly Pretty , but...

2009-07-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not a very high-frequency flier, traveling by plane maybe once every year or two. But of all the cities that I've flown into, Los Angeles is by far the ugliest from the air. There was nothing but side-by-side buildings, concrete parking lots, and roads for as far as my eye could see - brown and gray covered by a slight layer of smog.

To top it all off, the airport was one of the busiest, yet also one of the poorest organized. I don't remember any other airport requiring you to completely leave the gate and check back in through security again when getting off one plane to immediately board another.

Black and White and Red All Over

2009-07-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

Some things are clearly black and white to me. There is right and there is wrong - end of story. The addition of red is for the color I see after I feel convicted that it is clearly wrong. Because my tendency in those situations is to become angry and, unfortunately, potentially offensive.

In the last week or two, there have been at least three such incidents:

In one case I think my points were valid, but I could have presented them more gently, especially because they were Christians. I already offered my apology to them though.
In another case, maybe I could have handled it a little more gently. But I did the best that I could and to be honest I feel completely justified and don't regret it one bit.
And the last one is the most important of the three. I care about this individual and while I don't regret bringing the topic up, I probably handled it quite poorly. I am mixed about what to do next, if anything, and I am really seeking God's wisdom.

Here's the issue: I believe there is such a thing as righteous anger, that when things are blatantly wrong that people should get angry about it. And when I look around and see everybody keeping their lips shut and their faces turned away, ignoring the elephant in the room, I simply can take it no more. Ideally though, what I really want is to be gentle and speak lovingly, while still being outwardly honest with what burns inside me as The Truth.

However, and this may sound surprising - I really don't want to be the one to say something - I know I'm horrible at it. I am much more proficient at angering people and turning them against the very cause that I am professing, than I am at convincing them. I would much rather the job be given to someone else who is more capable and able than I. But still, I strongly believe that something should be said, no it must be said. And if no one else is going to speak up than it's better to let the words out of my own mouth and risk alienating myself than to keep quiet and silent in fear of retribution. Maybe another way of putting it is that I would rather get my @$$ kicked than to back away in cowardice.

Are we really talking bravado and chivalry here though, or just foolishness and hastiness? That is the biggest question. How can I speak what I wholeheartedly think is the truth, while still adequately or perhaps even proficiently be representing Jesus? If I were truly speaking words of wisdom, wouldn't they be convincing and thought provoking, instead of abrasive and provoking others only to anger.

Even Jesus angered people though, particularly the pharisees and money changers. On the other hand, that form of righteous anger was expressed specifically against people who were misrepresenting God or disgracing His house (the church). So does that mean I should only get angry, or at least express my anger, if the subject in question is about God?

As you can see, this subject has been coming up a lot lately, and I hate the conflict resulting from it. Don't get me wrong, I can handle the alienation part, or even the un-friending (from Facebook especially), but I am earnestly praying about, and I think I will even fast some of next week for the following:

That I would be absolutely certain about my position and the facts surrounding it before I make my opinion known.
That I could speak (or type) in a way that communicates my position and/or inspires change, instead of just causing anger and rejection.
Most importantly, that I can represent my God and my Savior. Am I talking or speaking in a way that pleases God? Will people grow closer to Jesus as a result, or reject everything that I say and stand for from now on?
That I would have wisdom for knowing whether I should make amends for any hurt or offense that I have caused. And if so, then how do I go about it?

Post-game Thoughts - 3rd Game

2009-07-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately I wasn't able to play last week (see my Father's Day Irony post), but I did go and watch. And our team looked much improved - confident, composed, patient, and fairly skilled. We still lost by a significant amount, but the opposing team was possibly our toughest opponent yet (they had beat two of our previous opponents). The important thing was that we were heading in the right direction, and although I didn't participate in it, I was greatly encouraged.

Fast forward to this week, in what was undoubtedly (in my opinion) our worst game to date. The opposing team should have been one of our weakest competitors, with a record that is only slightly better than ours. Even if we were to lose against them, it should have at least been a close game, especially judging by our previous game.

But we lacked, well, everything. Dave (one of the players who has also assumed the non-official coaching position) noticed that we had caused about four turnovers for every one basket that was made. Our offense was completely non-existent. No one could shoot for crap, and our passing was purely pathetic. We seemed more stressed, less confident, not having as much fun.

While I made three of our baskets (not a large number, but that's almost 30% of our points), I was still seriously disappointed with my own performance. I had a couple of fast breaks (after stealing the ball and/or rebounding), but instead of driving all the way to the basket, for some reason I shot the ball from 6-8 feet away, even stopping completely on the very last shot of the game. What is my psychological problem with taking it all the way in? WTF me? Needless to say, the next time(s) I practice I'm going to do nothing but layups, from every angle. I will learn from my mistakes - oh yes, I will learn.

So it sucks to have lost again, but worse than losing is two things 1) the frustration of our team back-sliding in our performance, and 2) even worse, my own performance. While losing is a bummer, I can handle it ok. I have a really tough time though dealing with personally playing poorly.

As an afterthought, I can't help but think that the biggest difference between the last game and this one was - ME! I was playing in this one, but not in the last one. Maybe that's baloney (I hope and pray), but either way I wonder if there is anything that I can do to help everyone to feel more relaxed and confident out there - maybe I should dial down my own intensity and try to goof off and have more fun, in the hopes that it could calm everyone else down and help them relax more too. Any suggestions?

I Like It, I Love It

2009-06-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

I've had this song in my head for about three days now -

I Like It, I Love It
by
Lyrics Born

The video isn't anything special (female objectification warning), but at least you can hear the song.

Every time that I get up on the microphone,

I gotta dedicate a rhyme to you girl C’mon...

Father's Day Irony

2009-06-30T22:35:00.001-07:00

My Father's Day present this year was a Vasectomy.

What are you trying to say honey?

Oh yeah, and I'm a little sore about it (chuckle).

P.S. Boy am I glad that no one actually reads my blog anymore.

Post Game Reflections of My 2nd "Official" Basketball Game

2009-06-21T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, we got stomped again.

Even still though, I felt like my defense was finally getting dialed in. My man got through a few times, but I felt like I was much more focused and aggressive. I had significantly more playing time (due to having less substitutes) and I think having to work harder physically helps me to push through a wall and into a second wind.

Offensively I was still horrific though. I felt pressured and panicked and I couldn't get focused and make any plays. I even lost control of the ball when driving in off of a screen (I thought I was over that stage of ball-handling clumsiness). Even my passing was off!

Regarding the other team - they were fully loaded again and their star player (a 6'2" fairly muscular black guy) was freakin' dunking the ball! He was good on defense too - so good in fact that he would just guard the lane and yell to his team to "let him through" when one of our guys would drive in. Then his team mates would just sit back and watch him swat it away each time!

I/we still have a long way to go, but it was only our 3rd game and there is more than half of the season left. We have lost - no, we have gotten slaughtered in each of our 3 games, but for some reason I have hope that by the end of the season our individual skills, our stamina, and our teamwork will be much more improved.

I just hope everyone else on the team feels that way, lest they get discouraged from the losses.

Blessings from the Bus

2009-06-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

I had to ride the bus to work again yesterday.

Admittedly, I have been in a bit of a negative funk lately (these spells come and go periodically). I can analyze the causes as being overly busy, under funded, improper health maintenance (lack of sleep and exercise), and on this day it was also encouraged by having to deal with a lack of transportation.

I was reading stuff for work as the bus transported me to it, but subconsciously I was also noticing the other passengers. One man got on and headed straight for the back. He had a few tattoos, was wearing a black muscle shirt, and had a mostly gray mustache.

He immediately started talking to another guy in the back that he recognized - about how he was attending anger management classes. Then he talked about how happy he was to have found a job yesterday as a telemarketer, since not many people want to hire him with his background (prison?). He also mentioned that he has another job opportunity running a jack-hammer on a construction site, but he's done it before and it can wreak havoc on your body - he would wake up in the middle of the night with the shakes, still feeling like he was running it. He also mentioned going to church on Sunday and how happy he was also happy to have bought a bicycle yesterday.

Another couple of passengers arrived now - a man with his 4-6 year old daughter. The man was thin, dressed in skater garb and had more tattoos than the first guy. He was holding his daughter's hand with one hand, and using a metal cane with the other. When they sat behind me, I could hear that he was really sweet on his daughter, just totally into being her dad. When he asked the other guys for a cigarette he ended up explaining to them about his injury. I think I heard him say that he had a titanium rod in his leg now. When he and his daughter reached their stop and he limped past me to leave, I could see that despite his attire and ink, he looked pretty weathered, and may have even been older than me.

These people sounded like they were good hearted - they had rough lives and were just trying to get by. I'm sure some of their problems were due to bad decisions, bad circumstances and/or their own personal demons/struggles. But whatever the reason, it seemed to me that these were the type of people that Jesus had the most compassion for - the humble and the broken. And it made me, with my bad mood due to such minor problems and grievances, feel totally blessed for the circumstances of my own life. Thank you God.

Post-Game Thoughts of My First Official Basketball Game

2009-06-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

Since tonight will be my second ever official basketball game (with a ref, etc), I am posting my thoughts on the previous game that I played, in which we lost by a score of 89-33. That and because I just don't have time to organize my thoughts enough to post anything new right now.

===============================================

I played ball twice at work this week (Monday and Wednesday), both times coming up with a decent amount of baskets, getting a decent amount of rebounds, playing some pretty decent defense, and not feeling too winded either. I was feeling pretty good going into this game.

Everything changed once both teams hit the court though. The best I can figure is this:

I’m usually one of the taller guys on the court. Not so tonight.
I got tired much quicker, despite the advantage of air conditioning and a nice court (I usually play on blacktop outside in the afternoon sun). I think it’s because a real game against unfamiliar opponents causes more stress and therefore much quicker energy drain.
I have told myself in the past that the main goal of playing basketball is to build relationships (with the guys on both teams), get some exercise, and have fun in the process. Getting better at playing the game and sometimes winning it are the two bonuses to the equation. I didn’t feel that way tonight though – I wanted to win, and once I realized that wasn’t going to happen then I wanted to at least figure them out and start playing a little catch up. Heck, they must be getting tired at least – right? I mean COME ON!!
I want to find the balance between wanting to compete and trying to have fun. I know both are possible together, but I think it ended up feeling more like a battle to me, instead of just a game. And losing a battle sucks a lot more than losing a game.
Part of me wants revenge. I want to watch tape of them, figure out their weaknesses, practice until our legs collapse and we’re throwing up, and then KICK THEIR ASSES next time. Or at the very least surprise them with a good run for their money. And the other part is saying “Damnit Mike, just relax, take a deep breath, and let it go…”
Those guys had height, they had strength, they had skills, they had endurance. And you can be damned well sure that they have played together before, perhaps for numerous seasons. They didn’t let up, didn’t slow down. They shot well, drove hard, and hit the boards hard. They were good, maybe even too good for this division.
We on the other hand, have just played our first game together as a team. I don’t know about anyone else, but that was the first time that I have played a real game (with a ref, a hardwood court, etc) at all. I think we have decent skills and aggression, and we should certainly be competitive. But we don’t have unity and team coordination yet, and all of our endurance can use some work. It will come though - I am all but certain of it.
Oh, and one more thing – COME ON REF! CAN MR. MAGOO GIVE US A FOUL ONCE IN A WHILE? Geesh.

It was a pleasure and honor to play with you guys today. Now I’m going to go drink some wine, eat some dark chocolate and be ready for practice on Saturday – starting between 8:30 and 9am at Diamond Oaks Park. look forward to seeing you all then. And please feel free to invite your wives and kids to play at the park there too. That way everyone in the family is happy with the idea.

Newborn Nuisance

2009-06-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

This transition from 2 to 3 children has definitely been rough. Before Clara was born, I had just recently reestablished my priorities and had begun making more time for God and exercise. I was even going to bed at a more reasonable hour. Over the last month and a half though (since Clara joined us), it has all gone to pot.

In my head, I knew that this was coming. It was expected, yet it still sucks. We've had to deal with sleepless nights, thrush, acid reflux, bacterial infections, divided attentions, and the utter elimination of free time.

I haven't even had time to blog in a while, and now when I do it's nothing but whining. Things are beginning to improve a little bit though, so hopefully the next post will be better.

As you can see in the picture below, Clara really is a cute little baby- even with her crazy purple slimy alien mouth (due to the thrush medicine). And despite what this blog title may indicate, she really isn't a nuisance.

(Previously mentioned on Facebook): I think I have a great idea for a new weapon for the military is to develop - a super effective psychological one that they could air drop behind enemy lines. Ready for it?... Solar powered speaker boxes with super amplified, constantly looping playbacks of newborn babies crying. I almost guarantee that after about 1-2 hours of their mission it would demoralize the enemy to the point of their surrender.

It's Too Precious of a Commodity

2009-05-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

I think I am almost done with what very well may be the last game of Scrabble that I ever play on Facebook. I was undefeated going into it, and I was somewhat determined to stay that way. I spent entirely too much time trying to come up with the best possible move, all to no avail.

It's now just time down the drain that I could have spend doing oh so many other things, such as blogging, exercising, working on our family web page, spending some personal time with God, etc.

My free time is just too valuable for wasting it like that, especially now with a newborn baby.

ER, Table for Two Please

2009-05-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

During labor and her stay in the hospital, Amanda's blood pressure was measuring a little on the higher side. So the hospital staff suggested that she keep an eye on it and if it remains high to come back to the labor unit for them to evaluate her for pre-eclampsia.

Since leaving the hospital, Amanda has kept an eye on her blood pressure by checking it periodically at grocery stores. Then on Tuesday, after seeing it measure high once again, she called the doctor and he suggested that she come to the hospital (pictured below) for evaluation.
Thankfully, we were able to leave our two oldest children at home (our friends and neighbors, the Walkers, deserve immense praise once again) and bring only our newborn to the hospital. We sat there for about three hours with Amanda getting her blood pressure measured every 15 minutes. Clara was asleep for almost the entire time, and all we could do was just sit there together.

Honestly (and oddly), it was great! With our busy lives and now a newborn too, we have way too little quality time together. Even when we make the effort to take an official "date", we're usually still doing things instead of just talking, joking, and reconnecting like we were able to on Tuesday.

Obviously, the solution isn't to hope for more trips to the hospital, but maybe on future dates, we should make a point sometimes of just finding a place to sit together and do nothing. Or heck, maybe we need to find a few places in and around our home that we can do the same thing, for nights that we can't find a sitter and get out, especially now that we have a newborn.

One thing is for sure though, it's moments like Tuesday's where I'm reminded of how much I enjoy my wife's company. And I realize again how much fun we're still going to have when we get older and the kids move out. Of course I love my kids and they inspire plenty of conversation (and sometimes conflict) in our marriage, but I'm confident that without them we'll still have lots of fun and plenty to talk about together.

Also, as an afterthought, while Amanda definitely looks better in the slinky black dress and shoes that I bought her for her birthday last year, she looks pretty sexy in a hospital gown too!

Athlete's Toothpaste

2009-05-04T13:01:00.001-07:00

I am usually running late to my car pool. So a little while ago I decided to set priorities in the morning. Then if (really when) I am running late, I can cut out steps to my routine at the last minute to avoid keeping my car pool waiting longer than absolutely necessary.

Well today, after 2 weeks off of work and not enough sleep due to our newborn, I was of course running late. So I grabbed my toothbrush and a small travel-sized tube of toothpaste, and I planned to brush my teeth in the bathroom at work (after my coffee and oatmeal breakfast) like I've done numerous times before.

After talking to numerous people who were welcoming me back and congratulating me on the new baby, with my stinky morning breath, I finally headed to the bathroom to purify my pie hole. I loaded up the brush, lifted it to my mouth, then had a sudden, almost fleeting thought "Was the toothpaste tube larger than I remember?" I looked down at the blank white tube as I was moving the brush toward my face, then turned it over - athlete's foot creme.

I just barely managed to avoid a close call, and that was good. But now I was unable to brush my teeth! So I continued on with my day, and the greetings, welcoming back, congratulations, meetings, work discussions, etc knowing that I was probably torturing the olfactory senses of every poor soul I encountered. And humiliating myself too.

Another Book Bites the Dust

2009-04-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

Another book review, of one called Icy Sparks. Online here.

Reasons for Reminising

2009-04-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

Participating in public speaking last Friday brought back memories of my dad, who was excellent at it - much more comfortable and competent than me. As an officer at the Orlando Police Department and a lead hostage negotiator, he was interviewed on TV numerous times and he also taught classes, workshops, seminars, etc. about various topics.

I don't think my kids have ever seen a video of him before (only pictures), so I pulled out some old VHS tapes that my dad had saved of various public speaking events that he performed.

I was always proud of him, and this time was no exception as I pointed him out to my kids "That was my dad - your Grandpa Lomonaco."

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An old friend and co-worker of my dad's, Steve Harrelson, recently passed away. You can read about it here, here (with video), or other places (just search for it). My dad and him both loved to fish and enjoy the outdoors, and I remember my siblings and me accompanying them both on numerous fishing trips.

I don't know what heaven looks like, but I know Steve was a Christian and I'm pretty sure my dad was when he passed away too, and I can't help but picture them both fishing and hanging out together again, with perfect weather and heavenly conversation.

Pictures of Clara and New Book Review

2009-04-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

Pictures of Clara's birth day are now online, on our web page here.

Also, I finished another book a couple of weeks ago called Combat Corpsman. The review for it is now online, on our web page here.

Afterthought About the Workshop

2009-04-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

As an afterthought to Public Speaking Performed:

After the workshop, I took the time to walk around the Sacramento State campus for a few minutes after the workshop. And I really liked the campus, which has an abundance of foliage and greenery. It also borders the American River and is adjacent to the American River Parkway trail.

But while I did like the campus, "Sacramento State" seems like a bit of a dumb name to me. Since Sacramento is actually a city, is it really supposed to be California State at Sacramento? If so, then you would think that the school's official web site would say that, but even their web site calls it Sacramento State. Hopefully there is a story or reason behind it.

Public Speaking Performed

2009-04-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity today to be a presenter for a workshop at Sacramento State, on behalf of my company (Northrop Grumman).

The workshop was titled "Workplace Communication - Effectively Navigating the Waters", and there were 55 people registered (a full room).

It was primarily presented by an HR representative from our company, but myself and three other engineers volunteered to be presenters of sub-topics, and leaders of some interactive exercises. My particular sub-topic was "How to Get Along with Your Boss".

I think it generally went well, although I noticed several flaws in my delivery. I usually tend to speak too fast, and today was no exception. And I don't think I gave enough variation in my pauses and inflections.

On the positive side, I was less nervous than usual. I'm pretty sure that I spoke more clearly than other times at least. And I think the content was pretty decent.

It seems to me though that the only way to really improve at public speaking is to simply do more of it. And while I do take advantage of any opportunity that I come across to speak publicly, those opportunities only arise once every 2-3 years at best.

So I'm seriously considering joining or at least looking into Toastmasters. Besides getting the opportunity to practice and perform more often, getting additional feedback could be invaluable.

The First Lomonaco Production

2009-04-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

On Friday 4/9, I watched the kids while my wife worked at our church.

After breakfast, I had the idea to make a short movie with them. So I started by making a list of all of the resources that we had available.

When listing the items that we had available, a plot came to mind. So I hatched out a quick scene synopses (as seen on the paper below) underneath the list of resources.

I had to prepare the set by removing all of the clutter in our bonus room. Then I ran through the scene with the kids, explaining what we were going to do and each of our roles in it.

After several takes, a costume change by Emily, a little editing using Windows Movie Maker, and the addition of dramatic music during the perfectly choreographed action sequence - viola!

Details and A Few Pictures

2009-04-21T09:44:00.001-07:00

Pictures of Amanda and Clara (ultrasound) while Amanda was pregnant are now online here.

More details of her birth are here, and I'll be adding pictures and video to that page soon enough.

In the mean time though, there are pictures of her birth day on my Facebook page, located here.

Welcome to the World, Clara Lomonaco!

2009-04-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

We had our 3rd child today - Clara Joy Lomonaco!

We are truly thankful for this tremendous blessing!

Her basic stats are as follows:

Time of birth - 11:16am
Weight - 6 lb, 8 oz
Length - 19 inches

Mom and baby are doing well.

Pictures are sure to follow soon.

Jeanette Has Left the Building

2009-04-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

Jeanette (pictured below on the day before she moved out) has vacated the premises.

A friend of ours was surprised by Amanda's resulting joy, saying "What, with that big house?".

Yes, the house is big enough for one more person, or 20 more people (depending on the culture - those Chinese can pack 'em tight). But, it's not the lack of space that makes it so nice to be without a roommate again, it's the lack of privacy, and the lack of control over your own space.

We've had a non-family member living with us since September of 2007 (first Matt, then Jeanette). Think about having a guest stay with you for that long! No matter how much space you have in your house, you'd be relieved to see them go.

We are really thankful for the extra income that the rent provided. And it was a blessing to get to know new people, especially since both of them were considerate, kind, and Christians. I'm really hoping that we can make it work financially without one though, at least for a while.

Ooma Me!

2009-04-07T22:56:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a co-worker when he gave me a ride home recently, when he mentioned this little gadget to me.

The idea is this: You pay for the hardware, which is $250 or less (we found it for $200 at Fry's). After that, you pay nothing more for your VOIP (voice over internet protocol) - ever!

Depending on how much you pay for your phone service, it could pay for itself in a few months.

We took the leap and hooked it up about a month ago. Since we're happy with its performance (it's not perfect, but usually close enough) we promptly canceled our phone and cable service. Since we only need to pay for a high speed internet connection now, we cut our monthly multimedia bill in half!

Facebook vs Blogging

2009-04-05T00:15:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or does Facebook cause a serious distraction to people who would otherwise be blogging?

On a different, but still blogging-related note - I wonder what the ratio of female bloggers are to male? It seems like men are outnumbered in blog-land by something like 100-to-1.

On a completely different note, I absolutely appreciate afternoon naps on the weekends, but I'm guessing that today's nap is the main reason that I can't sleep now!

Going Green (and sometimes brown)

2009-04-05T00:10:00.000-07:00

Reusable, paper-free toilet paper! What a great idea!
I will be tossing my rolls out the door immediately!

And pretty colors too!

Now who wants to come over for dinner?

Hairily, Hairily, I Say Unto You

2009-03-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

Last month, one of my co-workers on our basketball email list relayed to us that when he was in college he and his roommates would avoid shaving their faces for The Manly Month of March. He then asked if any of us wanted to join him on this endeavor, in place of his roommates.

I'm always up to try something different, especially if it's silly. So about a half-dozen guys, including myself, are saving our razors for the month of March.

I must say though, that I am seriously glad that it will be over in a couple of days. Although I don't think you can really tell by the pictures (taken about a week ago), there is too much gray in the mix and it's just too scraggly for my liking.

Also, below is a picture of my still-present, but thankfully (and hopefully) fading bald spot that is a result of the cyst I had removed back in December.

Request for Recreational Ideas

2009-03-15T23:40:00.002-07:00

My boss (actually my boss' boss) recently asked me if I'd be interested in coming up with some social ideas for our group at work. That was probably about a month ago, and I haven't done anything with it yet.

The catch is that there is no budget for this, and any activities will have to be off of the clock.

Here is what I have come up with so far:

Retro Movie and Pizza Lunch, starting with the movie Tron (we'd all have to contribute $ for the pizza).
Fica Fridays, at 3pm. Fica is a Swedish form of coffee break.
Donut Day. This would consist of me bringing in donuts one day a week.
BBQ at the park. There is a pretty nice park less than a mile from here that we could meet at for lunch, or perhaps after work for dinner - the families of the employees could meet there.
Dart Tournament. This would require me obtaining a dart board (from Craigslist?) and getting it approved and installed somewhere at work. Tough perhaps, but still possible?
Wednesday burger lunch. When we had a company that actually cooked in our cafeteria, our group would regularly meet for lunch on Wednesdays when they cooked burgers. They have been gone for a while now though, so this could resurrect the tradition by perhaps all going to Burger King, which is within walking distance.

I think I'm going to start with Fica Friday this week.

Any additional ideas or experiences that anyone out there in blogland is willing to share would certainly be appreciated.

Whose G-Spot is Bigger?

2009-03-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

I read an interesting article the other day about scientists discovering specific regions of the brain that become active when people think God-oriented thoughts. The article called them "God spots" (got you with the title, didn't I?).

This led me to thinking that I would like to see a more extensive study performed, with scans of a variety of individuals, from a variety of religions, and with various levels of dedication to their religion. If you scanned the brains of a dedicated Buddist, a Muslim cleric, a Catholic priest, and a Christian pastor, would the size of their "God spots" vary? Or if you compared a Christian pastor to a normal Sunday Christian (someone whose faith is limited to church on Sundays), would their be a significant difference in activity for that portion of the brain?

I would think that the people who are professionals and/or are extremely proficient at certain tasks would have higher development in the areas of their brain that use that function. Examples would be artists, scientists, accountants, or even athletes.

If this is also true for spirituality, then perhaps having larger developed "God spots" would offer a scientific explanation to how some people could have greater capacity or ability for spirituality. They would have a greater ability to "hear" God (know His will), understand Biblical concepts, and exhibit more fruits (Galatians 5:22) and gifts (1 Corinthians 12-14) of the spirit.

The World Revolves Around...?

2009-03-03T22:46:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a co-worker in the gym yesterday, and he was relaying his metaphor about the solar system and how life changes through various stages. I kinda liked it, so here it is:

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When you're single, you are the Sun, and everything revolves around you.

Then when you get married, you then become the Earth and your wife becomes the sun, because your world now revolves around her. In some ways good and others bad.

After you have kids though, you then become the moon - revolving around the Earth that now represents your wife. And you are both rotating around the kids (as the sun), which have become the center of your Universe.

And the glue that holds it all together is money.
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I like it all, that is, except the ending. In fact, I gotta say that the last part really sucks.

What if the money disappears? What if you lose your job, like so many people in America (or around the world) are experiencing right now? Then what happens - the family dissolves and the "planets" drift apart?

The glue that keeps it all together - the gravity of the whole system should be the one thing in life that is stable and unchanging - God.

Fatherhood Follies, pt 1

2009-02-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I was happy to have spent a pretty good amount of time with my kids. Sometimes though, I don't think through far enough to the consequences of my actions/decisions around them.

One example happened when Lucas was pretending to be a policeman and was taking me to jail downstairs. Somehow I ended up laying down on my belly at the top of the stairs, then pulling myself down the top step until my body weight carried me forward, like over a roller coaster peak. Then I body surfed down the stairs by putting my hands out like Superman and making my body stiff like a board. It was pretty fun and the kids really got a kick out of it, asking me to "do it again" numerous times.

I didn't really think much of it, until I told Amanda about it at the dinner table, after which she heartily chastised me. Her fear is that next thing you know the kids will be hurtling themselves down the stairs to their demise. She has a valid point, too. Thankfully though, they have yet to try it themselves.

Almost (but not quite) Smooth Operator

2009-02-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

In a previous post, I mentioned getting a cyst that was on the back of my head removed. Well, almost 2 months later there is still about a quarter sized bald spot there!

I have had several of these cysts removed before (they're just randomly occurring lumps), but I have never had a scar like this after getting them removed. This (and other factors about the procedure) leads me to believe that the doctor may have botched the job.

Anyway, I was in need of a hair cut again, but annoyed by what looks like a hole in my hair. So on Sunday evening I decided to just make the whole thing even. As you can see in the picture below, I set the clipper to its lowest possible setting and then went to town on my dome.

Needless to say that it has definitely been getting noticed. In fact, I don't think I've gotten this much attention since like, never! It's kind of fun. And seeing the kids get freaked out the next morning was pretty comical too.

Getting Girly for God

2009-02-11T22:09:00.000-08:00

I help out with the middle school group, called Apex, at our church. Last Tuesday evening we were going to talk about relationships. So the woman who runs the children's ministry, Liz, had the idea that we could dress as the opposite gender and talk to the kids jokingly about what we're looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend, but from a decidedly non-Christian (although still clean) perspective.

I actually had forgotten all about the idea until the Monday night before. Thankfully, Amanda helped put together my attire. Although she's only 5'4" (at best) and I'm 6', she had a maternity dress that was actually long enough for me to use! Sure, it was a little tight in the shoulders, but it worked. Add a few accessories, and viola! As you can see by the pictures below, I make a very ugly woman. However, I am thinking that this is a good thing.

Liz was L-dog. And I was Sophia (another woman who helps out with the kids picked the name, so I went with it).

Seeing the middle school kids' reaction was pretty funny. But seeing my kids' reaction was even better. They were eating dinner when I came downstairs in my female attire. I immediately assured them that it was a joke and only temporary. And after I left to go to church, they were laughing and told Amanda that "Daddy's funny".